Is This Wrong?

Question

My friend recently got engaged. I heard it through a friend. I e-mailed my friend and told her I heard the good news. I told her congrats. She didn't responded back.

I was on AIM recently and saw that she was also on there. I IMed her and told her congrats again. I didn't make a big deal about it, b/c I knew she read my other e-mail. The e-mail receipt confirmed that it had been opened.

I then preceeded to ask her about how her new job and recent vacation were. She didn't say anything about the engaged to me. She knew I knew, but she never said "Thank You" for the e-mail or congrats message.

I'm a little put off? Was she wrong to act this way?

Other friends knew of the engagment through a mutal friend. She didn't care that our friend told.

She never even acknowledged the fact she was engaged to me. I asked how her vacation was (that's when it happened) didn't say anything. It's like nothing happened.

We are friends. She was helping me plan my vacation to the same destination. So, she's not mad or anything. She was giving my advice/tips about the locale.

Answer 1

It is a little wierd. Let it go and see what happens.

Answer 2

Sometimes it is difficult to read other peoples' actions. Possibly she does not consider an email congratulations to be worth thanking you for.

She may not be as into the engagement as everyone else likes to think, and does not want to talk about it. Possibly she was pressured into the engagement, and is having her doubts.

She may just be the type of person that does not find this type of thing to be a big deal, and does not know how to respond to other people being excited about this.

I don't know how close of a friend she is, but you are going to have to think about her actions and reactions at other times in order to figure this out. If you are really concerned, why don't you go visit her in person and ask her what is going on.

Sometimes emails can come across in a much different way than what they were meant to be, and she doesn't know how to react.

Good luck, friendship can be confusing, just like most human relationships are confusing.

Answer 3

How do you know? What if she is unwittingly engaged to a loser or her engagement is far from a genuine desire to marry that person? She could have plenty of uncertainty about it depending on the situation. Perhaps she is not in a position to validate your congratulatory greetings... people end up engaged for many reasons and for some that aren't very ideal. I'd investigate this further.... sometimes our 'formal optimism' makes us a little naive. Have patience and you will have your answer....

Answer 4

You are not making the wedding invitation list, because she has a budget and is not able to invite all her friends. Sometimes, it is very hard to explain to your friends, that you can't invite them, because they only can accommodate so many people.
I am sorry, but I am a little confused, because you are a girl and and she was engaged to you. Is she engaged to a man know? Maybe she doesn't want her fiance to know, that she was engaged to another woman. Just be her friend and don't ponder over this.

Answer 5

Since your friend did not tell you about the engagement, perhaps she was not planning on inviting you to the wedding, and as such is not sure what to do now that you know.

Since you obviously DO know that she is engaged and have congratulated her on the subject, she should have at least be polite enough to say a simple "thank you." Is it really that hard?

Answer 6

She is engaged, she could be secerly busy, and not have much time to answer your emails and things, or she could be mad for something previso, but its most likely the first one, now that she is engaged she does have to plan a wedding, im sure after the honey moon she'll settle down and maybe reply to yuor ims

Answer 7

I wouldn't make a big deal out of it just yet. If you weren't invited to the engagement party or the wedding, you'll know she is no longer a friend. For right now, just be happy for her and wish her the best.

Answer 8

I'm not sure what your relationship is like with this person, but something is obviously off if you are surprised at her actions. Personally, I would ask her whats up. See if anything is bothering her, especially regarding her engagement. She probably doesn't even realize her etiquette mistake and it could be because she has bigger things on her mind.

Answer 9

Perhaps she didn't want you to know quite yet. I have a long-time family friend who may or may not be engaged (his girlfriend claims to be his fiancée, though), but he refuses to either confirm or deny it. He doesn't want us to know, so we lay off the questions. When he wants us to know, he'll tell us. Maybe you should've kept it to yourself until she came out and told you herself. I'm not trying to sound condescending, for you can't read her mind and neither can I, but maybe you should just lay off it for a while and act as if her engagement doesn't matter/you don't care about it. Just don't mention it until she does.

Answer 10

Could it be that she had broken up with her fiance and was just embarrassed about it? I agree with you though, no matter what her reason may have been for not talking about the engagement, she should have said SOMETHING to you, her friend, when you opened the subject.

Answer 11

She probably got engaged to one of your ex bfs and don't want you to know, and hopefully piss you off by not replying, hoping that you will cut off your friendship with her to avoid the awkward situation. The bottomline is she hopes you are no longer friends with her.