Problem with my maid?

Question

Help, my maid is acting passive aggressive, she won't look at me when I talk - she wouldn't even look at me when I asked her why she won't look at me and asked if she is angry about something or doesn't like working here. She was almost rude in her tone and said no, that's just her, keeping her back turned. I've asked her not to use toilet paper to clean the sink, and today I found little bits of toilet paper from her cleaning. I found out that she calls my friend for whom she works full-time "ma'am", yet she addresses me by my first name. I'm uncomfortable when people use my first name without asking my permission - I wouldn't do that at my job - but it's been going on a while and is hard to backtrack.

Let me just say that I am a decent person, respectful, clear in my requests and never abusive or nasty. On the whole, her work is OK but I feel uncomfortable having this hostility in my house and am at a loss as to how to address it. Please, only serious answers.

Thank you to those of you who answered my question thoughtfully. To those of you who attacked me, you do not know who I am, what I am like, how I treat others or what I do for a living, so you are in no place to judge. You just sound petty.

I do not like to be on a first name basis with anyone I do not know! I would just soon we both address each other formally.

Answer 1

Yes, this is a tough problem.

You did try to find out what was bothering your maid and she refused to answer you. I think she was afraid to tell you what was on her mind because since you are her boss, she could lose her job. Would she lose her job if she told you things about yourself that she disliked or about the job itself that she disliked? If she were that honest with you, could you accept it?

As far as your maid calling you by your first name, if you don't like it, why can't you tell her, even if it's been going on for awhile? You can say you would like to have a talk with her and discuss with her the things that concern you and perhaps also tell her that she may tell you what concerns her - a meeting to resolve problems (that is if you still want to know why she is hostile).

Since you wrote "On the whole, her work is OK", I think it is worthwhile to try to resolve your differences rather than firing her.

As a last resort, you can always fire her, but I think it might be better if you could find a way to have a good employer - employee relationship because the next person you find may also be difficult and even more difficult. You can learn from this experience and maybe profit from it as well in the long term by keeping your maid and having your house clean the way you like it.

Answer 2

Your sister is trippin! Cash bars are so luxurious. If your marriage ceremony is some thing like mine you're already paying round $10,000 to feed them. You can upload a further $5000 (no less than) to deliver all of them with bottomless booze. It isn't your accountability to get all people smashed, except that's a recipe for crisis. Having a coins bar makes ultimate experience, in the event that they must pay for his or her possess buzz then possibly the visitors will likely be much more likely to hold it at that. Whoever says it's cheesy and impolite hasn't been to many weddings. The most effective marriage ceremony I have ever been to that had an open bar used to be a garden marriage ceremony, with a taco guy for catering. It used to be amusing, however no longer a "first-class marriage ceremony" via anybody's specifications. Show your sis what the invoice could be for an open bar, possibly she's going to difference her perspective.

Answer 3

If you are not comfortable with her, let her go. She is ignoring your request not to use toilet paper to clean the sink and she did it anyway. It is funny, that she is not looking into your eyes, maybe she is hiding something or having problems, but don't make them yours. I hope you are not very bossy and making her uncomfortable. If she is from an agency, call them up and request somebody else and you don't have to tell them way. If not, sit down with her and tell her, that her services are not needed any longer and thank her for all the hard work she has performed.

Answer 4

She is angry with you about something. I strongly suggest you SACK her today. I foresee danger for you and lots of problems if you keep her on.

If she is a foreign maid, get your maid agent to help you with the termination and sending her back to her home country tomorrow. Don't let her know your plans to sack her or that you are sending her back tomorrow. Let her know the last minute ie ask her to pack to go home about 6 hrs before departure at the airport. Witness her exiting the boarding gate at the airport or else she might stay on as an illegal.

Answer 5

It sounds like you're a very reasonable person and have taken all the appropriate steps, up until this point, to address the problem. She must not care to resolve whatever issue she has going on, so I would let her go.

There are WAY too many wonderful people needing work. Use this to your advantage to get someone in your home that you like, appreciate, and trust. I wouldn't allow this negativity and awkwardness in my home any longer!

Answer 6

clearly, she's upset with you, her working conditions, or both.

your tone is a bit haughty even though you don't intend it to be. maybe she's picking up on that and maybe there are other things you are doing that are making her feel insulted or inferior.

feeling unappreciated can lower morale and any constructive criticisms from that point (like cleaning with toilet paper) probably make her resent you more.

she needs the job or she would quit. maybe you need to re-examine how you treat her?

a few things i do that might help: I've never called my maid to others...i call her a housekeeper. when the cleaning isn't as good as i would like it to be...i don't criticize the first time. instead i tell her how wonderful her job is when it's great. i also give her bonuses on her birthday & christmas. when i do need to criticize, i leave her a note so my tone isn't misconstrued.

Answer 7

Seriously, she is in a service position. In you home, it's a vulnerable place to let someone in.
If you are as polite to her as you say. She should have a level of professionalism.
She has no respect obviously how she has the audacity to act that way is beyond me.
Be stern and fore her, say the job is not done to your satisfaction and you do not appreciate her behavior and she is disrespectful in your home.
Or simply call the service she is with and tell them you will no longer be needing her services.

Answer 8

She may just be tired if she works for your friend full-time and is also YOUR maid. i wouldn't have the energy to talk that much after that either. Maybe she is too tired to life her head and look you in the eye.

If you feel there is hostility in your house, you need to get rid of her.

Answer 9

Get a new maid if this one isn't work out to your satisfaction. That is how to address it. No point in having someone working for you who you cannot communicate with.

Answer 10

fire her and get a new maid. maybe she dosnt like the way you are towards her. as for the name thing if she was introduced to you using your first name you should have rectified the situation from day one.