Ideal type of woman for me?

Question

I got divorced almost 10 years ago. Sad, I really did love her. Part of me always will....it's just the way I am. But I AM over her. The last few relations I've been in have been tragic... I'm just tired of it working out so badly. I'm obviously connecting with uncompatible women. Take a look at my profile...what should I be looking for? You know, I actually want to get married again some day. Being alone...or in short term relations...just sucks.

Answer 1

You tell us to look at your profile, but don't provide a link... (unless you meant for us to review all your Q&As).

Dating after divorce and failed relationships is tough, I know from experience. I'm over 40 now, and everyone who is single at this age seems to have too much baggage. It's hard to find a guy who isn't either too damaged from previous relationships, or who doesn't still have the same qualities that have driven other women away over the years (e.g. arrogance, chauvinism, selfishness, insecurity/jealousy/trust issues, etc.)

So I focus on finding my own happiness within myself, and don't expect anything from anyone I may meet. That's my dating motto: low expectations, high standards. So I don't let myself get my hopes too high, and I enter each date with an open mind and the goal to simply enjoy the evening. I also insist on being myself and behaving as though I've known this person for years, so they see me for who I am -- I'm not going to pretend to be something/someone I'm not, and I always ask the other person to do the same.

I speak openly and freely, and ask questions and give honest answers. If there's no chemistry, then so be it... at least I've gotten out of the house and have had another experience to learn about myself and others. I don't take it personally. It will happen when it happens and when I'm really ready for it.

Answer 2

I agree with you as far as being alone and in a short term relationships are really waste of your emotions and energy. However, that's life, we have to try out different people to see who fits you. If we can find someone we want and get along well in first person you meet, then we won't need to date anymore. Find a common ground is very important, because your partner has to like what you do, other wise, one will get bored and leave. So think about it. God bless.

Answer 3

If you can't figureout your own needs, likes and dislikes, then we can't either, not even by your profile.

During this time of healing did you learn anything about women and what happened in the first marriage. Did you truly get rid of all your extra divorce baggage before taking on another relationship?

Have you done some serious counseling in this area so that you could get to know yourself better?

If not I would look at that area first and make sure my footing is on solid ground before seeking out another failed relationship.

Answer 4

You said you still love your wife but are over her. maybe you are comparing others to her. You divorced for a reason. Find out who you really are. When you make a list of things you like and dislike about yourself you will find what you are looking for

Answer 5

sounds like your meeting the wrong women. maybe look for someone that is also divorced and looking for love again.maybe put a ad somewhere and see different women and it will up your chances of finding someone. just take your time and weed them out.

Answer 6

Unfortunately, you gotta man up and be patient. Unfortunately you can't rush these things. If we could, we'd all be married. Just keep dating and keep your hopes and confidence up. Maybe the next girl will be the one, or maybe it will be ten girls from now. You don't know, so have fun with them and let things fall into place. Good luck, man.