I asked my friends to go bowling and to the movies and a cafe to end the day for my birthday and we are all just hanging out and i forgot to tell them that they have to pay for their own, how do i tell them? Is this rude? What should i do? Thank you
2007-07-02 13:51:59 · 8 answers · asked by chikis*trikis 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
All the time we go bowling all the men pay for everything and at the movies my boyfriend pays for me, i never pay but this is a birthday, so i don't know what is the right procedure.
2007-07-02 14:01:37 · update #1
When I go out anywhere, I usually expect to pay for myself. If someone offers, I politely decline. If they insist, I let them pay.
I don't see why your friends would think you are paying for them. Especially since you are just going to the movies and bowling. That's so casual, I don't even think you could mistake that for an event someone might treat you to.
If it was a fancy dinner or night out for drinks, I might see the confusion.
If you're friends get offended, it's not your false. I would never expect anyone to pay for me. Just b/c you ask someone if they want to join you for dinner or for a movie, does not mean you are paying. It just means you would like to spend some time w/ your friend.
2007-07-02 13:57:14 · answer #1 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Did you imply that it was an invitation to join you, or a "hey, let's go hang out" kind of thing?
If it was in the form of an invitation to join you, it's kind of implied that you'll pay. Your only out on that one is something you'll only find out later -- a lot of people feel it's bad manners to allow the person having the birthday to pay for themselves and others. But that's not something you should just assume.
You're going to have to either say, "You know what, I don't know that I have enough money to pay for everyone", or just make other less expensive plans.
But I'm with LovePink on this one. If someone invites a group out, everyone in the group pays for themselves. The only time I would ever assume someone was planning to pay was if the words "my treat" were in there somewhere.
2007-07-02 21:03:08 · answer #2 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its your birthday..they know they have to pay for their own way or they are just really stupid people. reverse the situation and it was your friends birthday and you were invited to the movies etc. would you think that the person that invited you is going to pay for you and everyone else expenses on their birthday for as you put it a hanging out type of event. no one is going to pick up the tab for the whole gang. why would they. I hope you had a great birthday
2007-07-02 21:32:02 · answer #3 · answered by pheebe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First I would apologize and explain you are able to pay for all the activities. If you did not prepare them you may have to eat the cost of most things. I am certain if they are friends they will understand. Just be honest and up-front.
2007-07-02 20:58:43 · answer #4 · answered by t. 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's going to be tricky trying to tell them now without someone getting mad. When they were invited and you didn't mention it then, I'm sure they assumed you would be the one paying. Handle this carefully so you don't lose any friends.
2007-07-02 20:58:46 · answer #5 · answered by Josie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well in that case you should of said DUTCH treat. Maybe one will pick up the tab. Tell them politely that your funds are short.
2007-07-02 21:00:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just point out if they don't want to pay their share they are not invited.
2007-07-02 21:00:21 · answer #7 · answered by Belgariad 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
tactfully inform them that you will each be covering your own. if you dont tell them in some manner, they will never know.
2007-07-02 23:25:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋