Should i tell my friend?

Question

I have a friend that is the nicest good hearted person i have ever met. But her boyfriend talks about her and her kids ( not his kids)VERY VERY bad. I was at a other friends house the other day and heard him tell everybody there some really mean and rude things about her, which i know are not true. If she new how he talks about her, she would be heart broken. Then when he is around her he kisses her butt. She works two jobs to pay bills and stuff. While he waste his money and blows it on his friends. Anyways, i just heard from this guys sister, that he just had a baby with someone else. Should i tell me friend, or should i stay out of it? I love her and don't want to see her hurt anymore. She crys all the time, but always says that there is nothing wrong. Do i tell her or not?

Answer 1

If this is your dear friend then you MUST tell her. She is blinded by this creep and you have to make her see the light. If she then chooses to stay with this creep at least then, you have a clear conscious.

Also, the next time he is talking crap about your friend, speak up and tell him right to his face. Cowards like that often back right down. Saying "I don't appreciate you talking about my friend like that and I am certain that she would not appreciate it either" might stop him from doing it, in front of you at least.

If your friend gets mad at you for telling her what is actually going on, then she was not really your friend to begin with. Let her continue her cruise on De Nile! LOL

You sound like a true friend and people like you are hard to find!

Answer 2

If you don't tell her and she finds out later and you say you knew she will be more hurt. Truth hurts. I think your friend needs better from her man. If she is crying all the time she either already knows but, doesn't know what to do about it or she has a feeling and is waiting for someone to confirm what she already knows in her heart. You can't say that she hasn't heard what he is saying behind her back. People have a way of letting things slip. you as her friend and as someone who cares about her can go to her and say we need to talk.( I love you put your boyfriend is an $^&*^$# and I will always stand behind what you want but, I will no longer let him put you or your kids down in front of me. And I will say something to him when I hear it.) Let her know she is worthy of better. Good luck

Answer 3

I'd tell her how much you love and care about her first off. Let her know that you only want the best for her and how it hurts you to see her hurting. It sounds like she's not happy with the situation anyway, so I'd let her know that he doesn't seem right for her, that it doesn't seem like he's making her happy, or even really trying to help her with anything, and that it bothers you to see her give so much and not get what she deserves back. I'd mention that you'd heard some thing about and from him, but don't go into details if possible. Say that it was enough that it drove you to finally talk to her about this, but if she asks, give her the cliffnotes version, she doesn't need to hear details.

Answer 4

If you want to convey the information, an anonymous note in her purse would probably be the best way to go. This way, she learns what she needs to, and can't blame you if/when things go wrong with him. It's her relationship to stay in / get out of, so she needs to make the adult choices. Also, remember that some of this information is just gossip, and so may or may not be true. Finally, you don't know what he does for her that makes her keep him around.

It's usually best to keep out of other people's business, but if you can't help it, then a mysterious tip is probably the best alternative.

Answer 5

If she's at the age to have had children, and is working, none of this is your business.
She is with this loser for her own reasons, and probably doesn't understand why herself, except that she was used to being treated badly by her own family as a child.
Be a great friend---be there emotionally for her.
Ignore her creep boyfriend as if he doesn't exist.
Be an example of a fun, self-loving person in your OWN life, and she may end up imitating you---but she will never change if TOLD to. She might, though, change her situation if she looks at you living a much better life, and realizes she can, too.

Answer 6

Why not you get concrete proof of everything you've heard first? Find out how true is it that he's got a kid with someone else. If he does, while in a relationship with your friend, he's cheating on her and she deserves to know. I suggest you get concrete evidence of everything before telling her....she'll probably not want to believe you at first, but with proof she may be more willing to get rid of this loser. And, you'll be less likely to break her heart. Also, if you DO realise some things aren't true, then you wouldn't have told her things that weren't true.

Answer 7

Ask her why she's so unhappy. Frankly, I think she's stupid for staying with a guy who makes her miserable. As for you, what's more important? Keeping a friend miserable or helping her? Her heart is already broken or she wouldn't be crying all the time.

Answer 8

I would definitely tell her, there is no reason why she should go on like that, the fact of the matter is, obviously she is going to find out one day or another, and the longer it goes in the dark the more pain full it will be.

Answer 9

A good friend would tell her ,as long as they are absolutely sure of the facts.Be sure you can backup your facts. The truth hurts ,but not as bad as deception. I,ve been there and know first hand.

Answer 10

hard as it is, you have to tell her. just imagine how hurt she would be if she found out that you knew and did not tell her. she probably would not consider you a friend. friends defend friends. sounds like her bf has other things on his mind...like using her. why would you allow your friend to stay in a situation like that? help her so she can stop crying.