My mother and father are in denial of my choice of "religion"... and refuse to accept that I am an atheist. *sigh* I think I'm almost ready to tell my extended family my "beliefs" but my parents are doing everything they can to stop me.....
Is there any way to make them understand and respect my choice? (my parents and my extend family) I'm afraid I might just have to distance myself from my extremely Christian family next year when I graduate because I cannot handle their disrespect any more.... I have never once tried to tell them their religion is wrong... not once... but I can't go an hour hearing about how I'm going to suffer and it isn't to late...
I really need some help here....
2007-07-02 13:09:34 · 24 answers · asked by Highlander 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I'm not the one that brings it up... *sigh* I thought I could deal with it... but it's getting so annoying... and really really is starting to get to me...
2007-07-02 13:13:05 · update #1
Trust me I'm an atheist... that won't change....
2007-07-02 13:15:55 · update #2
...Please don't tell me anything from the bible....
I really don't want to here it...
2007-07-02 13:21:37 · update #3
artfulsouls4u is right... thank you everyone for your advice...
2007-07-02 14:55:00 · update #4
If they are in denial about it, then very little can be done about your circumstances, unfortunately, other than how you react. Since you've chosen a path of logic, approach their criticisms and comments logically. If you feel a particular response or explanation is warranted, and will gain you something, then go for it. If not... don't. Do as you've been doing, in terms of not bringing up the subject of religion. If they do, respond as the situation calls for. If your family is truly concerned for you as a person, they will have to respect your right to choose. They can't force you to attend church, or whatever religious practices they participate in. Making the invitation, on occasion, is acceptable, but if you respond with a "no", that should be the end of it.
And, by no means is this adequate compensation for your parents' poor response, as I'm just a mostly anonymous, faceless participant in an internet forum, but... I'm proud of you for taking your stand as an individual, and not just because you're a fellow atheist like me. I'm sorry you couldn't have heard that from folk closer to you, but there it be, nonetheless. I'm proud of you.
2007-07-02 17:15:27 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well Highlander; You have some really good advice to ponder and there is not much more I could add. I know that coming up I went from atheist to agnostic to born angain christian to well I have no description for what I believe now except for what I know to be the truth. Relationships are the most difficult part of being human. I do know that there are very few situations where confrentation yields a possitive result and when it does it generally takes quite some time for the possitive to be reallized. Someone most always gets there feelings hurt and christians are masters at guilt trips. It is synonimus with there very ideals. They have there heads buried so deep in the sand that they just can't hear the truth and someone has been thinking for them for over 2000yrs. Even my brothers who are not christian par se are permeated with christian beliefs it's an American thing. you just have to be the bigger person and love them through and in spite of there short comings. In the mean time you might suggest that they read some bocks that reveal some truths but don't start with something that is 180 deg. from what they believe. Start with something simple like Five Love Languages to make them understand that not everyone recognizes love in the same way. Bon Chance, Mona Mi
2007-07-02 14:08:17 · answer #2 · answered by Beneplacitum 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well to start with, please stop referring to Atheism as a religion. Putting it in quotations does nothing to help.
As for beliefs, we do not have any. No wonder you are confused. You have nothing to tell them. No beliefs to explain, nada.
You do not believe in god. Very simple. Not believing in something is neither a belief nor a religion.
You cannot 'make' someone feel any way about anything. No one can also, make you keep silent. You have made a step towards sanity, it does not take much more to become completely sane.
Nothing you do or say is going to change the fact that fanatical believers are never going to comprehend a person being normal and not having delusions. Just do it and be done with it. It is their problem not yours. They have the belief you do not.
Good luck.
2007-07-02 15:23:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would suggest don't come out to your extended family. Why should you? Is the purpose for coming out to make a statement to your Mom and Dad?
You have already done that.
I have a very Catholic family, and several years after I decided I wasn't Christian I came out to them. It doesn't solve anything-believe me. The one thing I learned is "you can not change your folks".
We argue and taunt each other constantly (mostly in good fun).
But your faith in essence is your business. Its extremely personal, leave the extended family out of it, until it can't be avoided (ie. Christmas cards). The mature attitude is "its my life, not theirs".
If they keep it up, do your best to educate yourself and fight back or just ignore it and let it roll off.
If you involve other people (like I did) it just makes your fight harder, because you may get attacked from multiple sides.
Good luck.
2007-07-02 13:26:33 · answer #4 · answered by Boanerges 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maximum atheist communities are quite small and often work together in political issues to avert the religious from hijacking public coaching. There are some larger ones like the yank Atheists yet even they're exceedingly small. we actually tend to no longer have lots in basic so as that they do no longer final. it relatively is often greater of a social ingredient.
2016-10-03 10:58:41 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you should make any kind of formal announcement to the extended family. I don't see why you would.
I also think that you should remind your parents, if you haven't already, that you haven't criticized their choice of religion, and _make certain that you don't_. Take the high road, and in the long run, things will go your way.
2007-07-02 13:12:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, my parents never really got it either. Try suggesting that they read some books - like Sam Harris' "Letter to a Christian Nation" for a star. It's nice and short and to the point.
2007-07-02 13:14:22 · answer #7 · answered by eri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've told them and they've still ostracized you, then it's their problem now. You have done all you can. I really hate to say it, but little more can be said to your family to change their opinions of your beliefs. They could pull around on their own, but there is not much more you can input to gain their respect.
2007-07-02 13:14:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear you've been going through all this.
I can only suggest that you make it very clear to them that while you respect their concern for you, you now consider the discussion closed and would definitely not appreciate any more of this business.
2007-07-02 13:19:16 · answer #9 · answered by Citizen Justin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Show them you are still the same person, do not preach at them, tell them that we all have our own choices to make, and "judge not lest you be judged". Smile through it, don`t get rattled, stay cool, even though they will surely `gang up` on you. In time they will accept.
2007-07-02 13:21:24 · answer #10 · answered by ED SNOW 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋