Is this BBQ considered tacky?

Question

I'm invited to this BBQ on the 4th of July from my friend's friend. However, at this BBQ you have to bring your own food that you want cook on the grill along with your own side dishes and beverages. I already asked my friend if this is considered to be a Potluck BBQ thing. She said no. I never really got invited to a BBQ where you bring your own foods and beverages. I think this is a bit tacky. If you get invited somewhere the host or hostess should supply the food and beverages. Is this BBQ considered tacky?

Answer 1

Not necessarily tacky, but it is definitely cheap. They could have at least supplied the meat and everyone else bring the sides. If you have to bring your own meat, you might as well stay at home.

Answer 2

I've been to one of those (called BYOM -- Bring Your Own Meat). The meat is the most expensive part of the meal to pay for, so people bring their preferred meat to save money. Plus, that way you can have whatever you want.

It's not unheard of to have a BYOM or BYOB, but it is fairly tacky to have both, and especially to have guests bring their own sides and sodas, too.

All she's doing is providing the space. I don't have anything against potluck, but it should be understood that that's what it is. It also should be that you bring something, but you CAN come with nothing if you can't or won't bring food.

I'm starting to get the idea that whether it's tacky or not depends largely on the culture you're in. Where I'm from, virtually everything is informal. Even if not asked, most people will ask what they should bring. Apparently, after reading these other answers, other areas of the world are not like that.

Whether it's tacky or not, you need to ask yourself just how much that means to you. You'd be justified in not wanting to go. It is tacky. However, decide if it's a point you want to stand on. Even with a tacky hostess, you would probably have fun with your friends for the holiday. It's up to you.

Answer 3

Well a BBQ is a very simple, social gathering, so many different ways need to apply. This one is a just a "cheap" one!
It is a "potluck" thing. So have a great time, its about the friends, not the food.

A regular BBQ when hosted, is...bring ONE a favorite side or dessert, BYOB enough for entire group. If you have a favorite meat, bring it, so it can go on the grill. If your on a "diet' you need to bring what you can eat.

This is how mine have gone for the last twenty years:
Come over for a HOT time with us.
Texas style- BBQ dinner includes:
Drinks: Iced Tea, Juice box for kids, BYOB if ya want.
Meat: Chicken, Links and Hotdogs/chip for kids
Sides: Huge green salad, Potato salad, Ranch Beans.
cob of Corn on grill.
Dessert: Fresh fruit, Cookies and popsicles for the kids

So here in 48 hours.....that's the menu.

Answer 4

BBQ aren't tacky, but potluck is. Unless someone offers to bring a dish, they never should. I don't have people bring food to my parties. However, if they insist, I usually let them bring dessert. But, I usually discourage it.

Potluck is tacky. First, I don't want to eat food prepared by someone I don't know. At a potluck, everyone is eating different people's food. It's one thing if the host and one of their family member's helps to prepare the food. I trust my friend. I don't trust everyone. Sorry, just don't.

Secondly, it's very rude to ask someone to bring their own food. What happens if you don't bring something, you don't eat?

I usually bring something when I go to someones home for a party. I buy a store bought dessert, or if alcohol is being served a case a beer or a bottle of wine. I do it to be polite and thank the host. I don't do it b/c it's mandatory.

The only time potluck MIGHT be appropriate is with very close family. I grew up w/ 7 aunts. At family parties, my mom and aunts would all make a dish or two. We use to have so much food. But, we would never ask extended family-cousins, great aunts, in-laws to bring anything. And never ever would be ask friends or acquaintances to.

Answer 5

You know, upon first reading this, I thought it was kind of tacky, but the more I thought about it, the more I actually started LIKING the idea! It made me think of how many parties I have gone to where I didn't like anything that was being served. I'm a very selective ('picky' as some people would call it) eater and there's only a few specific things I like. So it would be great to bring whatever I like, so I could actually eat! I think this is a great idea.

Answer 6

Your friend has gone too far. Bringing food to a BBQ is fine, its called a pot luck.

In the case you describe, I would prefer to keep my grilling, side dishes and beverages together with the best company I can have - me, my husband and cat and a good movie.

What you described is CHEAP. Did they want you to contribute to the propane or coals?

Jeez.

Answer 7

Not really if they invited a whole lot of people. They may not be able to afford to feed everyone. I might have put it differently like everyone bring something for the grill and a side or dessert. Some people just don't know how to express themselves. You will probably have a good time and I think you should go without giving it a second thought.

Answer 8

well since it is not considered a potluck i would have to say a little tacky and cheap. when ever i give a BBQ i supply everything for the quests, they only bring themselves.

Answer 9

Yeah, I'd say so. Potluck would be better, that way everyone would only have to bring one thing, and it's interesting to share. It's easier on the guests, and it is always more gracious to give people less work to do for their enjoyment.

Possibly she had her reasons, but still.

Answer 10

Heheh. Go dutch on a barbeque? Thats about the worst thing I've ever heard. How about you turn up with your *own* meat, cook it in one shot, then wrap it up. As you proceed to leave, say 'thanks for inviting me to use your BBQ equipment now I'll go home to eat my own food'.