Ok, so here is the deal, I married a man when we had known each other for three years, we then (three more years later) had a child together, and he never supported us as a family, and he always relied on his family to support us. I found out that he was still dealing drugs and stealing from his elderly grandmother. I couldn't take it anymore, so my son and I left him.
Before the birth of our son, we were both unfaithful to each other. ( it was an open secret, don't ask don't tell) We both know that we do not want to be toghether anymore. There is no longer any attraction, physically, spiritually, mentally or otherwise.
A few months after I left I met another man who does support us, and loves my son very much. I have not yet divorced my husband, but am trying very hard to get that done. I have lived with the new man for 4 1/2 years. We want to marry. Is this acceptable to God?
Please no angry or stupid answers. I need to know this.
2007-07-02 11:24:29 · 19 answers · asked by † Seeker of Truth † 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
There was adultery committed and therefore there are scriptural grounds for a divorce. You should make your union with the man you love honorable and marry as soon as possible. It is not acceptable to live in sin and not marry and it is also not a good example for your child to see. There is no sin that God will not forgive you if you are sincere! He is a God of second chances and even third chances! Go to Him and tell Him you are sorry for your mistakes and that you want to please Him and live for Him from now on. Once you repent for your sins, do not repeat them. Marry the man you love after you get your divorce, and live a godly life. Remember to keep God in your marriage! May the Lord bless you!
2007-07-02 11:47:37 · answer #1 · answered by Marie 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I do know that (from being a LDS missionary in the past) that if you choose to be baptized into the LDS (Mormon) faith, they would include you in everything, but have you wait until the divorce was final and you were married to your new, much better man before being baptized. You would not be condimed, or looked down on. No one would suggest breaking up your new happy family do to legal proceedings for the divorce.
My opinion, is you are breaking a commandment, ual contact when not married. But that is not the entire story! You are making a family unit, you have sinned in the past (Everyone has some sin, just yours are different then mine, and any amount of sin requires the cleansing of Christ). So you are not alone. Do not destroy your new family unit due to legal issues, work through them best you can, go forward and be married as you desire. Than work on repentance. And be faithful to your new husband, as well as do what you feel is right with your Lord.
May God bless you and your new family.
2007-07-02 18:43:35 · answer #2 · answered by B Jones 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bible does address divorce in a strict manner. The only "biblical" grounds for divorce would be adultery, which if I'm reading the time line right has already taken place. The drug dealing he was doing is another reason you should have...and did...get away from him.
I don't know if you're Roman Catholic, which I'm not qualified to address. Coming from a Protestant/Baptist perspective. it appears that you had biblical grounds for divorce, and as best as I can tell, are free to remarry.
This is my interpretation of the situation. I'm not usually involved in counseling folks in your situation. it sounds like you have found someone to love you, and that you're divorce is not on trivial grounds. I believe you are free to remarry.
2007-07-02 18:33:10 · answer #3 · answered by Graham 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"He answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that He which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." (Matthew 19:4-6).
"Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery" (Matthew 19:9; see also Matthew 5:31, 32).
So, it would seem that adultery is a reason for divorce..I don't know how it works when both com mitt adultery. It would seem you are both guilty of adultery and neither would be considered innocent in God's eyes. The Bible says it is alright for a widow to remarry but since you both are guilty of adultery, I think if you remarry, it will not be recognized by God...Perhaps staying divorced and raising your children in a home without a man, is your best out if you won't to stay in God's Grace.
2007-07-02 18:48:11 · answer #4 · answered by dreamdress2 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I tell you what I am a Christian and so is my SECOND wife I do believe God wants whats best for us so if leaving your first husband and divorceing him is whats best for you and your child and he (God) brought another man into your life to help you and take are of you then why would'nt it be acceptable?
God doesnt like it when your living together unmarried but He is a forgiving God so get married asap! and ask him to forgive you. You'll see that all will work out.
2007-07-02 18:47:18 · answer #5 · answered by dadtwo5 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
After your divorce, you are free to marry again both in the eyes of man (the law) and God. The scripture discourages divorce, but not remarriage. Some may say differently, but they are incorrect. Leaving your first husband, was definitely the Christian thing to do, especially for protecting your child.
God Bless !!
2007-07-02 18:31:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unfaithfulness in marriage is grounds for divorce allowing for remarriage. (Matthew 5:32; 19:9); (Romans 7:2,3) While you are trying to get a divorce, you should separate from the man you are living with now.
2007-07-02 20:11:26 · answer #7 · answered by catgrl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In short. The God of the Bible speaks on the idea of divorce in The Corinthians and in the Gospels. God uses marriage to paint a picture for us a few times in scripture as well (Hosea, Song of Solomon, Ephesians). All of these references would discourage divorce except in case of marital infedelity. (and this case is challenged by scholars today per the language used and it's understanding in the culture that was at hand). And those involved in the infedelity are not to remarry. Further on the matter the story of Hosea is the story of a man whom God directs to marry a harlot. Then as she leaves him for other men's beds in the marriage God calls Hosea to continue to commit to her. Hosea does. Crazy. But a beautiful picture of God's unconditional love.
2007-07-02 18:39:59 · answer #8 · answered by JJmissingyou 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a tough situation and I do sympathize. But I suspect you already know the answer. People can water it down and rationalize it any way they want, but the simple fact is, Christ said that one who divorces his/her spouse and marrys another commits adultery. That's the whole story, if you are a Christian. It's just amazing how so-called "Bible Christians" will compromise God's Word when it isn't convenient.
2007-07-02 18:47:08 · answer #9 · answered by PaulCyp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
According to Christianity, you made a mistake by NOT divorcing your previous husband FIRST. The Jesus disapproved of divorce, but did not say that it was a sin.
Personally, I have a lot of sympathy for you. I have been committed to my "fiance" (and her son) for well over a year (but we have been friends for much longer). People ask me "when's the date" and I have to explain to them that though I am willing, she is not.
She is once bitten twice shy; I am committed but might never get a commitment out of her.
2007-07-02 18:37:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋