My boyfriends best friend, what's wrong w/ him?

Question

My bf best friend is a nice person,i just recently began knowing who his real friends are and i dont think he's one of em', when he comes to our house lately he always manage to pull me to the side and say something about my bf that is negative, but then he will include something postive to make the conversation sound a little better, the conversations are about my bf's past relationships and what went on or what not. last time he mentioned something to me that me & my bf recently had been through, some things my bf discussed w/ him out of privacy and he bodly told me "dont tell your bf i told you" . i was shocked. i imediately told my bf what he said soon as he left. but there are other things in which he said to me that were not nice about my bf that would make the two conflict, but i love my man and dont want him in any trouble, especially w/ his best friend of elementary school. i want to say something sooo bad b/c i dont keep secrets from him period. what do i do?? or not do

Answer 1

It is all about RESPECT. Your boyfriends so called "friend"> is not only trying to get with you he is trying to make your boyfriend look bad. I would tell your man. If he is a real man he will stick up for you. I am tired of BOYS not understanding this. Women need to be treated with respect and your boyfriend had better defend you or he is not worth having in my opinion. Don't let yourself get treated like that.

Answer 2

Something similar happened to me. Once, when i was first dating my last bf, his friend came up to me (i think he was wasted though) and started telling me bad things about my ex and then finishing it all off by saying "but he's a nice guy..." He didn't sound too sincere about the last part. I was uncomfortable too because his friend would always take me to places to sit, like on a couch or a bed, to talk to me. I told my ex bf about it and he said that although he was his friend, he didn't want me to be alone with him because he was the kind of guy that would try to make a move on me even though he knew i was with my ex bf. If you trust and love your bf, then I suggest you stay away from him.

Answer 3

Well tell your Bf Best Buddie that the things he says make him sound like a jerk and you don't like hearing it.. Add In that you don't dislike him just some of the things he says are hurtful and disrespectful to your friend.. Keep your Boy friend out of it.. This is between you and his friend.. If you get your man involved that may cause hard feelings....

Answer 4

I went through something somewhat similar to that. Turns out that 'best friend' wasn't much of a friend at all. He ended up calling me at 2am asking me to come over. When I told my boyfriend, he was completely on my side. He already had a bad feeling about this friend (of 15yrs). He no longer talks to this friend. I suggest you sit down with your guy and talk to him about this. If he finds out through other means, it might make you look like the bad one. He should be understanding. Do this at a good time since it is a touchy subject. Good Luck

Answer 5

well...if u are a true and honest friend ..u are not gonna go sneak on your bf back to talk bad things about him / her...so this is what this person is doing.
You have to be true no matter what to your bf....try to tell him in a gentle manner. may be harsh for him.., but he has got to find out this supposed best friend..may be runing his friendships or relationships towards others...not a nice thing to do at all. If u do not like something from your bf....u tell them away from others and in their face..don't you think? You should not even be listening to this wastebasket

Answer 6

It is obvious that your boyfriends best friend is interested in you and wants to have you by" hook or crook".He apparently theorizes that if he" bad-mouth's" your boyfriend, you would end the relationship, be grateful to him , and he can then slide in. It is clear this guy is selfish and is no friend of your man.My suggestion to you is that the next time he tries to pull you aside for a private chat,turn him down.Tell him you love and trust your man and are not interested in anything he has to say about him.However, before you do that, if there is a way you can document what he is doing,go ahead and do it .This way, if he tries to bad-mouth you to your boyfriend out of spite, you can show him up for the liar and vermin that he is.With friends like him ,who needs enemies.Good luck to you and your man.

Answer 7

You are keeping secrets from him if you aren't telling him what his bestfriend is saying that is not nice. You need to tell your boyfriend everything that is said, then let HIM deal with his friend. Also, stay away from the friend, then you won't have to hear the negatives about your man and you won't be in the middle anymore!

Answer 8

I had this problem also for 2 years and still going on.

Boyfriend and best friend is close right?

There may be potential jealousy that your boyfriend's best friend has that you don't know about.

Your boyfriend doesn't want to hear the fact that his best friend is a negative person. (We all think of our best friends as positive persons right?)

Like they say you just have to wait for your boyfriend to get hit on the head to know how his best friend really is.

All you have to do is be there for your boyfriend. Try not to be involved, ignore his friend, be a happy positive girlfriend for your boyfriend.

And it is on a personal level too-- Does he make you happy? Is he good to you?

Think on your own two feet-- listening to the boyfriend's friend is a waste of time.

To make things more fun-- be happier with your boyfriend ^^ piss off his friend if his friend is being mean to you.

Answer 9

Let him know that any other negative thing that is said to you about him at this point will be reported back to him, or you can just tell him no you have nothing to talk about when he pulls you off to the side.

Answer 10

Honestly this is a hard question to answer. I would say don't dismiss the things your bf friend is saying....I mean he knows him very well if they have been friends for that long. He may be trying to give you valid warnings about things.