I know its awful and very shallow to say that but some members of my family are just embarassing (not even in a funny way). I love them but they're very odd, I'm not in the usual 'family unit' and many of them have mental illnesses or personality disorders. I'm also quite ashamed of where I live because its a big dump. Anyway my new 'boyfriend' (sort of) has started talking about meeting my family because I've met some of his, who are very respectable (and a bit flash). What can I do? I could never bring him home, he's just too perfect.
2007-07-02 09:51:14 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well if he does not understand your family, then maybe you should not be with him. I am sure he has seen this all before. You would want to be really drunk to meet my mother, and aunt.(There are a few more of famly members I did not mention). He will not take it personal toward you ,if he really cares for you. Love Conquers All.
2007-07-02 09:57:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I learned that you just have to get over being embarassed of your family. The person you fall in love with will love and appreciate every member of your family that you do...and any person who doesn't is not right for you.
My family is full of whackadoos, but they are amazing and truly genuine people. I had a boyfriend once who had a "perfect" family on the outside..they had a perfect house with perfect things and such..but they were BORING and horrible parents. Keeping up the house for show was more important to them then actually bonding with their children...what a "home" is supposed to be all about!
I used to be embarassed of my house, too, because it is very well lived in. But, I got over it, realized it has "character" and it was where I grew up. And most people i've met love my house because it is very comfortable as a result of being well lived in!!
So, appreciate your family! They would do anything for you (hopefully!!!) and they are always there for you, no matter you who date!
2007-07-02 17:00:52 · answer #2 · answered by live and let live 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is silly. If he is really perfect, then he'd be happy to meet your family, odd or not. Let me ask you this: if you had a wonderful, perfect mother who was not odd and had cancer, would you let your boyfriend meet her? If many of them have mental illness, it is the same thing. It's a disease. You will reflect badly on yourself if you keep your boyfriend away from them. If he is really perfect, he will not be impressed by someone who is ashamed of her family for reasons that are not all their fault. Doesn't mean you have to bring him over and hang out all night, but grow up! Your family is your family. Unless they are abusing you (in which case all bets are off and I don't blame you), then you should show them a little respect.
And if the place you live at is a dump, that is at least part way your own fault. Clean it up!
2007-07-02 16:56:20 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he's as kind and loving and mature as you say, he will understand. Mental illness is something your family members have had to deal with much as other families have to deal with physical problems.
At least your family members aren't criminals! I am so ashamed of my criminal family that I have no contact with them and never will again. They have committed fraud and grand theft (including stealing my home and property on 3 acres) among many other crimes. They are more than embarassing - they belong in prison!
So count your blessings. Besides, if your relationship with this guy continues you would have to let him know about your family sooner or later. It's the honest thing to do.
2007-07-02 17:28:57 · answer #4 · answered by D 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all remember no one is perfect, I understand that youhave some issues with your family you have to discuss, but I don´t even think your "perfect" boyfriend has aperfect family. remember that we cannot choose the family we´re born in, all we can do is try our best to live in unity and love. remember that ifyour boyfriend really loves you hewont care if you´re poor or whatever, he fell in love with you not with your house, and if he can´t accept that it just means that he´s not right for you. you shouldn´t be ashamed if you grew up over family values and other things that really make a person worthy... what matters the most is the kind of people you are, if you´re good people who want to make a better person out ofyourselves, so don´t be ashamed, just talk to him aboutit and you´ll se in the end it won´t matter at all
2007-07-02 17:02:34 · answer #5 · answered by meza´s girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen no family is perfect, not even his family it is just different from yours. Dont ever be ashamed of your family, it seems to me you have a family with some sort of mental illnesses, that shouldnt be weird or embarassing. If he cares about you he will understand that this is your family and that you love them and that you wouldnt change them for no one.
2007-07-02 17:23:06 · answer #6 · answered by ASHLEY 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, I just want to say, I know where your coming from with this. I dislike having frends ovr cuz it's always a big hassle to try and hide anything that i think "normal" families wouldn't have in their house. But you know what, if ur evr going to get real close with this guy, he's gonna have to meet your family eventually. Just warn him first about the illnesses and disorders your family members have before inviting him over. I know you probably wont like my advice but being realistic here, you have to introduce him to your family sooner or later.
2007-07-02 17:08:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you are ashamed of your family and feel shallow for it but are scared of being judged by him because of them. Then bring him home. If he is a decent guy, the kind you will have a chance at a good relationship with, he will understand.
2007-07-02 16:57:44 · answer #8 · answered by Elizabeth B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would just sit down and explain to him that your family is very unique. Prepare him for what is going to happen when he meets them. If he truly cares about you, he'll be okay with your quirky family. Plus, if he thinks your house is a "big dump" he's shallow and not worth your time. Nobody is perfect, though, remember that.
2007-07-02 16:56:40 · answer #9 · answered by Melissa G 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You know you are who you are and you can not help were you or who you come from and if the guy you are dating can not understand that then he is not worth dating and please know that there is no such thing as being perfect. Explain your situation to him and tell him that you are not ready for him to meet them right now tell him that you want to wait until you guys have been dating a little while before he meets the family.
2007-07-02 17:00:22 · answer #10 · answered by Talithea H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋