I have a bit of a problem. There is a guy that I work with (non Muslim) and he knows I'm engaged but he's kinda too friendly. It's making me really uncomfortable. Sometimes I deliberately talk to him about my fiance just so he knows I'm not interested in any other guy but still, he sends me text msgs and stuff. I respect everyone and I like to have a friendly chat but there is NO WAY I am interested in any other guy. Allah knows what's in my heart, that the only person I'm interested in is my fiance and I wouldn't commit adultery. But I am still fearful that I am sinning btalking to this guy and replying to his msgs. I mean NOTHING MORE than friendship, I don't like the way he is becoming too friendly. To be honest it sickens me! I want to spend the rest of my living days with my fiance InshaAllah, not any other guy. What can I do? How can I politely tell him to BACK OFF?!
I fear that I am commiting a sin in the eyes of God, please give me some advice! Thankyou.
2007-07-02 09:33:45 · 20 answers · asked by ¸.•*´`*•.¸ ℓανєη∂єr ¸.•*´`*•.¸ 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
You must stay Strong.. don`t let any 1 else come into your love life.. He just want to do bad to your Relationship.. please.. in the Name Of Allah.. The Most Mercy full & The Most Loving.. do not entertain his careactor & behaviour.. He will cause a lot of damages in Your relation ship.. do not feel simperty for him.. when he try to show you his sadness.. & all the sad ,careing,loves,joke,impresieve,kindness & concern.. it is just a kind of talking to win your heart, this act is not true.. more to lies... when he do that... in his mind & heart are evil.. try to get some reward from you.. in any means... egnore that Man.. to protect your self.. from his evil deed.. You by doing this is not a sin.. don`t worry about the sin part.. remember if he mantion it is sin if you egnore him.. you can tell him of that he is wrong.. for survival sake & that the only way for you to do it.. it no sin.. don`t worried.. if he said he wan`t to do sucerside.. then let it be.. it is no sin.. My Sister.. to egnore him...
2007-07-02 10:23:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a muslim myself but that shouldn't matter. If this guy makes you uncomfortable then thebottom line is he makes you uncomfortable and that is wrong. You have to tell him so and you need to tell him to back off.
Be tactful of course but be truthfull. Yes you are friendly and respect everyone and don't want appear rude but you don't want this guy to get the wrong idea about you. You love your fiance very much and you think it best if this guy gives you some space because you just don't have those kind of feelings for him. You are truly sorry if yourfriendly nature has given him the wrong impression as that was the last thing you intended etc...
2007-07-02 16:51:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I can tell there is NO way you're interested in this guy, but I also think that Allah is testing you to see if you are really that committed before actually getting married. You're doing the right thing by trying to be nice to the guy but still letting him know you're not interested. If you really want him to go away, you should maybe cut down on the conversation little by little until there's almost none left. If you would still like to be friends with him, invite him and his girlfriend (act as if he has one, even if he doesn't to make sure he gets the message) to go on a double date. This way, he can see how much more you like your guy over him.
Good luck!
2007-07-02 18:39:35 · answer #3 · answered by YouCannotKnowUnlessUAsk 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am a Christian. If your Holy Book tells you can not be friends with or talk to another man, then it is a sin. If it does not then follow the other rules about not being alone with him and such.
I would tell him that you are engaged. You are happy. You understand he likes you. But, you will not cheat on your fiance. You will not leave your fiance. And, you feel he is too forward and that you would like him to be a "conversation friend" only.
Save the e-mail then if he does not stop go to your supervisor and report him.
Can you talk to you mom or your Oman (not sure of the spelling (preist) )?
2007-07-02 16:48:08 · answer #4 · answered by Sugar & Molly's mom 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Its simple, dnt talk to him, rember that we choose to do the things we do, we choose to feel da way we do, hes thinking ur easy and u fall for him, dnt be too weak minded, be strong minded, if that means not being freindly den so be it, i know lot of girls who r engaed and some r not even with anyone but still obstain from even looking at a guy, sumtimes being too freidnly makes it seem desperate , specially to other person, if u be too nice ppl get wrong siglans, wrong messages, and walk over ya, to get far in this life u hav to kick sum ***, i dnt mean literally lol, but stam ya authority, this man might think ur leading him on, even of he thinks u r engaded he still tinkgs maybe u av an affair , BUT dnt do that ok, thats only for the weak minded insecure unattractive ppl, u never notice slim tall pretty fair girls never have affairs never even chat to another guys, dey dnt feel da need, just be urself but make it clear ur not intrested, though i have a girlfreind i still chat to other girls, cuz ma girlfreind' trust me and i cant control maself, its all in da head, ppl respect me thats y dey wnt try to chat me up, make sure der is respect, dignity, make it know, PEACE".,
2007-07-02 17:03:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dear Daughter
Assalamu Alaikum warahmatullah
Just take the copy of this whole chat, your question and all of the answers and give it to him.
Next change your attitude and behavior to remain humanly but to an extent it passes on the message to him strongly.
May Allah Help You and Bless You in all the endeavours to lead a successfull married life Aameen.
2007-07-02 18:29:27 · answer #6 · answered by mohammad a 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sis, we do have some profession where one has to work with male fellows and talk to each other..Like mine one ..where we have to discuse and take help from our male fellows and it looks normal..now in your case if you are feeling a problem..then i guess there would some grey area..the attitude of the person tells the intension..Now if you are so upset with this..and at the same time you are feeling guilty being so sincer to you fiance..Just tell the person that i don't feel comfortable with this friendship..and can't continue with this ...Be straight forward sis..don't let these things get you disturb when you can handle it with just one "NO" ! you see..All the best !
2007-07-02 16:52:48 · answer #7 · answered by ★Roshni★ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just keep your distance, and don't reply to his text messages. If he persists, tell him you aren't interested. If he persists even then, talk to your supervisor or human resources department. Even if you were non-Muslim and not engaged, workplace relationships are a very bad idea.
If your intentions were clean, you are not guilty of sin, in my opinion. However, he might have gotten the wrong idea, so now its best to not be so friendly.
2007-07-02 17:06:40 · answer #8 · answered by Smiley 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This has nothing to do with what your religion is. Religion is so unimportant that the government of advanced, enlightened countries does not put it on your identity documents and besides, people can change their minds about religion in an instant because it IS all in the mind.
It is a common problem of all women. Ask the question in Etiquette or sex issues or some section like that and you need not mention your religion at all. Tell him once you're not interested in his advances, and if he persists, set the whole Sexual Harassment bureau and machinery against him and force him to take sensitivity-training and read from childish books against sexual harassment, ho what fun!
2007-07-02 16:41:13 · answer #9 · answered by PIERRE S 4 · 4⤊ 3⤋
You need to tell how you feel about him. Tell him you just want to be friends and that is all. Tell that he is making you uncomfortable. If he can not respect your wish then you can not hang around him.. You have done nothing wrong, just tell him to back off. Good luck!!!
2007-07-02 16:40:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋