do i have the right to be angry?

Question

ok to long a story short:
my mom gets a boyfriend when i was around 9 or 10. i met him and he was cool. nice and fun. i accepted him, but then he stopped be all fun from a month or something. i didnt like him anymore. i felt that he only was fun and nice so he can show my mom that he's good for her.
now from here, is that a right be angry?

he was then calling me spoiled; example:
i didnt want to eat at this restuarant we were all eating from in disney land, so my mom took me to another food place.

now months later or a year or something, my mom and her boyfriend got engaged. we get a house, we move.

and then he starts making all these rules and start acting like my father; example: i cant use the tv in the living room because he thinks i mess it up, he time limits my tv/light because of bills, he tried to force me to go to parent teacher conference, he yells if i take his stuff and dont return it, he forces me to go places. ect.

theres so many examples to give. cont-

from the example he yells at my mom about it. he doesnt come to me. he goes to my mom. and then she just allows him to do it because he got her mind saying that she doesnt know how to say no to me.

and i'm jus sooo mad. its has gotten to dis point that i wanna jus kill him. im not that bad kid that he makes me feel. i work so hard in school. and since he came, he is another reason of so much crap in my life. ive done several attempts of suicide. but when it comes to my mom, she just allows him to continue all this stuff. he's not my dad and ill never look at him as a dad. he got his own daughter that visits and i hate her as well.

so should i be this mad?????

it jus feels that he took my freedom away and my happiness that i used to have everytime i come home from a crappy day at school

oh yea and im 14 now.

well all the rules he putting on me shouldn't be a big deal. if i take my moms lotion and i left it in my room, she'd come and take it back. no drama.

Answer 1

Why would you expect him not to be angry when you take his things and don't return them? Parent/teacher conferences are no fun, but hey! we all did our time in them and now it's your turn. If the family is going someplace you don't want to go...that's really too bad. I had to go places I didn't want to and didn't get to go places I wanted to. And yes, I even ate in restaurants I didn't want to eat in.

It's called parenting. He's being a responsible step-parent. Perhaps one day you'll even discover you're grateful.

Being part of a family is give and take. He's giving you some much-needed discipline, and you're just going to have to take it.

Answer 2

You have full right to be upset because things around you are changing and you were never asked. You need to talk to your mom and let her know how you feel. Then talk to both of them about working with the rules so that you have a say too. Remember that your mom is in the middle and she is just trying to keep you happy and be happy at the same time. I'm sure she wants to make a better life for Both of you, so unless he is abusing/hurting you remember to show them you are responsible by being civil and not rude, tell them you are hurt but don't throw a fit about it because fits, tantrums or attitude will get you nowhere. It's always better to meet family half way than to spend a lifetime fighting. Hope that helps.

Answer 3

To some extent you do have a right to be angry. However, you should never take something that belongs to someone else without permission and without returning it. As for the creation of new rules and his behavior I would discuss that with your mom. When you go out as a family to eat then as a family everyone should eat at the same place. That is a situation you shouldn't try to manipulate unless you were asked if you wanted to go to a specific place and you indicated that you didn't.

You remind me of my soon to be 10 year old. He went through phases when I got with my husband but I made sure that they were able to come and talk to me about any issues that they were and are having. To prevent them from feeling left out we give them options of places to choose from and the majority wins. I have SPOILED rotten children but I do not allow them to manipulate me or my husband.

Talk to you mom sweety and Good Luck.

Answer 4

Stepdads with weird rules can be a pain, but unless he's beating you or molesting you (or cursing you) then you need to chill and deal with it. I had a stepdad that was a little worse than what you're talking about (we were up at 6 even on weekends and I was 13) and eventually we got along. It can be annoying, but just deal. Don't sweat the petty things. Some kids have it alot worse.

Answer 5

I lost my father when I was fourteen to ill health. About three years before that my mother re-married to a bloke that I did not like. It was like that for about eight years. I must confess that I think he is great now and know that he has made my mother very happy. I struggled with him coming into my life and made his life hell for a long, long time. It's hard for you right now and I understand why. It's probably hard for him too. Look you may never get along and you may even be right in your judgement but it does not change the fact that you have to live together for a long time to come. I suggest you try and find way's to compromise and speak to your mom about the situation. Take your mom to lunch or something and speak heart to heart with her. You have a right to be angry but that anger will only destroy you. It won't destroy him.

Answer 6

Sounds like you are being a spoiled brat. Try growing up, stop taking his stuff without permission (I would yell too), and don't make your mom take you to special places away from the rest of the family. Your mom has a right to be happy.

Answer 7

Sure, you deserve to be angry because not only did he lead you to believe that he was nice but he made some changes that would affect you.

If it bothers you that much, you need to sit both your mother and her new husband down, let them know how the changes are affecting you. Let them know how unhappy you are and be honest don't hold back. This is your chances to make a difference.

See if you and him can make some mutual agreement by meeting half way on certain rules.

Answer 8

you are no different from any other of the thousand of teenagers who have "stepfathers & stepmothers" come into their lives. you have a right to be angry, just like he has the right to put rules and boundries into your life. the question you should be asking is. did your mother make the right choice in finding this person to be with, does she have the right to be happy. is she happy? in 4 years you will be making choices that no one but you can decide on. you may even move out. do you want your mom to be alone? especially if she is happy with this man? do you think maybe he has a right to decide things in a house that he is part owner? he is sharing his life with you. he may not be your dad, but he is sharing with you everything a dad would. like a home, time, money. so yes you have a right to be angry, but this right also means you have to repect the rights of others also. especially the right of your mother to have a partner in life, and the right of her partner to share his life with you. and if this letter makes you angry then... you are not thinking about anyone else but yourself. as for suicide, my precious little princess, you have so much more to offer this world than a sad memory. no one will learn their lesson from your death. it will only bring people closer together to cry and be sad that you could not be happy unless its your way. Rev. R. Marrero

Answer 9

You need to get a grip on things. Nothing is ever worth trying to take your life. It is precious and hopefully some day you will realize that. You are going through an adjustment time and it will pass. Everyone in your family is trying to adjust right now. You need to focus on things that make you happy, be thankful for what you have, and try to realize this is a big adjustment for his daughter also. Try to be nice and see how that goes.

Answer 10

So you aren't pushing the limits? You weren't leaving the tv/lites on all night? You weren't complaining about the restaurant to be difficult? How bout asking your mom if she is happy, and if she is why don't you try to abide by his rules and cooperate. It's only a few years before you can be out on your own, it isn't worth all the drama and breaking your mom's heart. Until you are paying your own way, you really don't get to negotiate.