Well, I know I'm going to get a lot of hassel about this... but, when I get married I do not want children to be at the ceremony because, well they're children and tend to cause disturbances during the ceremony... I know I'm bad, but it's my day and I want everything to be perfect. So, is it rude to ask parents to not bring their children to the ceremony, say if they're 12 and under.. maybe 10. I think I might have a separate room for children to play in while the ceremony is in progress and then they can come out and dance and eat and have a great time during the reception. Is that acceptable? how should I approach parents about the situation?
2007-07-02 07:53:23 · 38 answers · asked by missmieke87 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Wow! Such an overwhelming response. I just want to thank everyone who left positive advice. I know it can be selfish to ask them not to bring children to the ceremony, but I've seen some dissasters and don't want that happening. I think that my friends and family will be grateful to have a room with a babysitter or two for them to drop their kids off. the only children under 10 that will be in the wedding will be my neice and nephew (twins) that will be 4 by that time. Thanks for everyone's help I wish I could chose everyone for best answer.
2007-07-02 08:18:13 · update #1
I don't think it is rude, and you seem to have thought of an excellent plan that would let parents enjoy the ceremony and the children enjoy the reception. Just make sure you have someone to watch over them.
2007-07-02 07:57:20 · answer #1 · answered by merrybodner 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. It is after all, your party and you choose who gets invited. Granted however some people may take offense. I think the best way to go about it is to make sure you provide some kind of alternate for the kids, which you already mentioned. Designate some teenage friends/guests to run a little childcare room with lots of fun things to do. Most kids dont enjoy the ceremony anyways... parents may even be relieved gthat they can have an hour off! Letting peopel know this is mandatory could be tricky.... the best you may be able to do is to let parents know that there is a place for kids during the ceremony so the time can be enjoyed by everyone. You could always say "its not YOUR kids, but there are some other kids that are really noisy, and if they see your kids out here then they will want to come too.. so could you do me a huge favour and participate in the childcare room?" anyways.. just some random ideas.. good luck!
2007-07-02 08:01:04 · answer #2 · answered by SuburbanPhilosopher 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that some people may choose not to attend, but that's okay. It is your wedding.
You should probably hire a few great babysitters or preschool teachers to help out with the kids. You might even inform parents ahead of time that childcare, games, and activities will be provided for children under 10 during the ceremony. Children are welcome at the reception.
I understand you wanting everything to be perfect, but just recognize that the most important thing is that you will be making a commitment for the rest of your life to the man that you love with all of your heart. That is what is perfect. Everything else is just reality... If something isn't perfect (a missing bouquet, someone trips...), laugh it off and realize that it'll give you a great story later and it really didn't matter.
I hope that you have a wonderful day and you are surrounded by the people that you love! Best wishes on a long and happy marriage.
2007-07-02 08:10:49 · answer #3 · answered by g-questions 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
They don't just cause disturbances during the ceremony, they get bored during the reception, too. Think of the weddings you've been to where the adults don't dance because the dance floor is filled with kids jumping around hyped up on sugar.
You have to look at this as you are throwing the best party ever, and stick with what you want to do. Our ceremony and reception is at a modern art gallery, hardly the place for kids. To let people know, the invites will only be adressed to "mr. and mrs." and will not include the kids names on the invite. And the wording will also say "cocktail reception following the ceremony". My family members that have kids love the idea of having a night away and having grown-up fun.
It's you and your fiance's wedding, and you have the right to throw whatever style party you want.
2007-07-03 04:55:11 · answer #4 · answered by Allison L 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're in a unique situation if you're inviting them to the reception, but not the wedding. This might best be handled with a phone call. If you weren't inviting children at all you could just leave their names off the invite. I only see this working though if you have a room at the church for them. People are very unlikely to come to the ceremony, then go home for the kids, then come back for the reception. It might be easiest to just not invite children under whatever age you choose.
2007-07-02 07:58:59 · answer #5 · answered by rosekm 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you are obligated to invite children but unfortunately people do not get it unless you personally tell them not to bring the children. Just because they are not at the ceremony does not mean they will not run around at the reception, tripping a waiter or messing up the cake. Are you sure you want them there? You are more accepting than I would be. If you write on the inner envelope only the name of the adults invited, anyone who knows anything about etiquette should understand that children are not included. Please do not say or think you are bad . It is your day and you want it nice. Why should you be subject to some lazy parents who let their kids run wild?
2007-07-02 09:23:41 · answer #6 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some people will be put out, but if you provide a place and sitter for out-of-town visitors to leave their children during the ceremony, it should be fine. Ten should be a high enough age limit, unless you know of some problem 11 year olds who are invited--that's old enough to sit still for an hour.
You should approach them on the invitation--if you call it will look like you are singling out thier kids, even if you aren't. And be sure to mention that they are welcome at the reception at the same time.
2007-07-02 08:10:51 · answer #7 · answered by wayfaroutthere 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just say that you really want the day to be perfect and that the kids would think its boring anyways...and tell them there will be a separate room for the kids to play with toys and all that...and then when the ceremony is over, they can come out with everyone and eat and dance...and have fun....the day will be just as fun for the parents as it is for the kids!
2007-07-02 07:58:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is very much acceptable. It is your wedding, and you can do things however you want. If people decide not to show up because they can't bring their children, then that is their loss. Just include with the invitations that the ceremony is for adults only.
2007-07-02 16:43:10 · answer #9 · answered by boonslilsis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parents will probably like the idea of a separate room that is supervised by someone to be able to sit with the kids while the ceremony is going on.i know i would.And you have no problem with them coming out and having food and dance but when the alcohol comes out,the kids should be gone home as this is not a place for kids to be.All sounds good to me.Congradulations on your wedding.
2007-07-02 07:59:21 · answer #10 · answered by countrykarebare 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋