reception without appetizers?

Question

I was initally going to have a cocktail hour but then my future MIL who is paying for basically everything decided not to have it anymore. Have you guys been to a wedding with just a dinner and no appetizers?? I want to pay for it myself but I don't want her to think that I'm going against her. She says it's going to be very wasteful because people will not eat it all.

Answer 1

You don't have to have appetizer's - as long as people aren't waiting for you between the wedding and the reception a cocktail hour is NOT necessary - save the $

Answer 2

Every wedding I have been to has had cocktail hour. I agree with you that it's a bit odd not to have one. It gives your guests something to do while they wait for you. Plus, everyone knows that there is always tons of food at a wedding. Therefore, people come hungry.

I definitely eat at the cocktail hour and still eat the dinner. The reception is usually long enough that everyone eats during all courses.

Cocktail hour is huge. I've also worked in catering and usually the hor oeuvres fly off the platters and tables Sometimes when I worked, I could hardly keep up replacing the food. If I was passing the hor oeuvres, I could only get through 1/4 of the guests before I had to go back to the kitchen to get more.

I would pay for the cocktail hour myself. Just explain that the guests on your side of the family and your friends are accustom to having a cocktail hour at a wedding. Tell her you don't want your wedding to fail in comparision to others. Also, mention it could be a waste, but it also could be a success. There is nothing wrong w/ having too much food. People will always remember the amount of food. If there is not enough, people will complain they are hungry. You don't want your guests to be hungry. Better to have more food, then not enough.

Answer 3

A cocktail hour is really about timing and what is happening during that time. Usually after a ceremony, there are still pictures to take, and usually the reception is someplace other than the ceremony site. So, that means your guests are waiting on you for anywhere from 30min-1hr. before you even arrive at the reception. That is why you have something for them to do.

You should at least have drinks of some kind for them, not necessarily alcohol, but something. Something free, I might add! If the liquor is to be cash bar, please pay for their water or soft drinks! You don't necessarily have to have appetizers, but again it depends on timing.

If your ceremony is at like 3 or 4, and they haven't eaten since lunch, and dinner will not be actually served til like 7:30 or 8 pm, then you need to feed these people something, even if it's just cheese, crackers, & fruit. To leave them starving that long is just inconsiderate.

Answer 4

Appetizers are not necessary, but perhaps you could offer this compromise. Have something like a small fruit cocktail or yogurt/parfait placed at each setting. A cup of yogurt costs about $0.10-0.25 at the grocery store. Bowls of fruit aren't much more. If you want appetizers and can afford it, then have appetizers. My wedding was supposed to have fruit available. However the cater screwed up and didn't have anything. My guests waited for about an hour, but I didn't hear one complaint. Even a year later no one has mentioned anything to anyone, so I guess it wasn't a huge deal.

Answer 5

I've never been to a wedding WITH appetizers - and we've been to LOTS! Usually there is just cocktail hour, which is time for a drink and visiting, then there is the dinner. And a late lunch, at some point maybe halfway through the dance.

Answer 6

I've been to a lot of weddings and only ONE with a cocktail hour before the reception. The food was pretty much gone so it definitely was eaten... but at the weddings without a cocktail hour, nobody was complaining!

I don't think she'd be upset if you paid for it yourself. If you really want it, put out the bit of money to have it. I mean, if you wanted to spend a bit more on anything else, I'm sure she wouldn't mind.

Answer 7

trick i learned on foodnetwork

you count how many ppl are attending and give 2-3 appetizers per person

when the food runs out they will be tided over but still able to eat dinner

just don't serve large filling appetizers

tell mil that you would really prefer to have a cocktail hr and will be paying for it yourself. that you want to make sure the guests are taken care of and don't want to make her feel like you are taking over the reception plans. you just feel it's best to have some light appetizers and will make sure they don't make so many they go to waste.
besides if they are super yummy and you have left overs... take them home with you... you might work up an appetite later on lol

Answer 8

I've been to weddings with no cocktail hour, so it is acceptable. But if you want one, you should have one because it's your wedding. Maybe you can compromise on the price and have a cocktail hour but do a buffet dinner?

Answer 9

I have been to plenty of weddings with appetizers & plenty of weddings without them. It really doesn't matter either way. Appetizers are nice but they really make you full and take away from enjoying the dinner.

Save your money and just stick with dinner....you won't be sorry!!

Congrats!!

Answer 10

it depends on how long you are going to be taking pictures. between the travel time and pic taking, we were not there for an hour. it is polite to give guests a little bit of something to eat while they wait.

i personally have never been to a wedding with just a meal. while they do not eat it ALL, they eat a great deal of it and it does not have to break the bank. see if you can try discussing it again with her, people will be expecting it.