Do I have a right to say anything about someone else's pregnancy?

Question

My husband's friend's girlfriend is 17 weeks pregnant and supposedly just found out. They had an idea a few months ago that she was pregnant but were in denial so she continued to smoke (not just cigarettes) and drink. I really don't like these people because of the way they are but my husband worked with this guy for a long time so he feels bad if he tells him not to come over. The other night they were over and she was smoking cigarettes and the green stuff which I do not approve of even for people who aren't pregnant. I'm sure she is still drinking as well. Do I have the right to say anything about her unborn child that she is hurting. If she is doing these things in my home can I not tell her she needs to do them elsewhere? If a pregnant woman does drugs doesn't this affect the baby 100 times more than it would a regular person? Can't the green stuff hurt the baby? I know drinking and cigarettes can? Should I say something the next time they come over and she does this?

Answer 1

I would make a comment to her the next time she comes over. Just say not to be your mom or anything but aren't you worried that your going to end up hurting your baby if your drinking and smoking? If she says no i am not then you need to tell her that if she wants to come over with her husband then the next time you don't want her smoking or drinking at your house b/c you don't believe in it. Now smoking weed while your pregnant can hurt your baby but I know alot of women who smoked weed and cigs and their baby's came out fine. My fiancees sister smoked weed everyday with both of her kids but the only thing that is wrong . That her daughter is to dam skinny and her son is slow at his age for a 5 year old. If you don't want to say something to her then call social services and find out what you can do to save this little baby its not fair to this child. Also its so sad how so many women out in this world that want to have kids cant and they would be great moms. Then you have these women that can have kids and they don't give a rats *** if anything happens to their baby's.

Answer 2

You certainly have the right to tell her she can't smoke ANYTHING in your house!

All of her behavior you've described is hurting the baby, unless she has a miracle or guardian angel. My sister was a little like this woman...she didn't realize / accept she was pregnant until she was 6 months along. She just thought she was drinking too much and not working out enough. She never got a normal period because she simply drank and worked out. Her baby is 2 now and a perfect angel when she's with me or my mom. My sister is another story however LOL Even though your feeling are correct....you really don't have a place to say anything. Some people are just plain selfish and don't care about anyone but themselves.

Answer 3

Medicinal use of the "green stuff" has been found to be safe during pregnancy. I am not making any excuse for abusing it or any other drug -OTC, prescription, legal, illegal or otherwise particularly during pregnancy.

And no you really don't have a right to say anything, particularly as this is not a friend. And I assure you she knows what drinking and smoking do during pregnancy and she either doesn't care or has lots of excuses. Some doctors tell women quitting during pregnancy does more damage than smoking. Some say drinking in moderation is fine.

Ultimately this is the same as if you saw a pregnant woman on the street smoking. It isn't illegal and it isn't your business.

Answer 4

First you tell her that you dont appreciate her using drugs at your home. If you have a non-smoking home, inform her of this. Regardless, what she does elsewhere is, unfortunately, her decision.
When I was pregnant, I was introduced to a friend of a friend who was due around the same time, and in one evening I watched her drink almost 2 bottles of wine and smoke a pack of cigarettes. What did I do? I tapped my husband on the shoulder and said Id be inside.
Unfortunately people make stupid decisions. If you feel close enough to talk to her, you should try.

Answer 5

You certainly have the right to tell her that there will be no smoking of any kind in your house, or even drinking. If she doesn't like it, tough.
As far as in relation to her pregnancy goes, that's a tough one. I doubt anything you say will mean much to her. While it's none of your business what she chooses to do with own body, she is making some very bad choices for a child that cannot make decisions on his or her own. I would call Child Protective Services on her.
What does your husband's friend think of all this? It's his child too. Is he okay with it? Maybe if he was to take a firm stand, she might listen?
Good luck to you with everything.

Answer 6

Yes, feel free to print out dangers of drinking and smoking out from the internet!! Also let her know that you will NOT be part of hurting her child and she is welcome in your home as long as she does not drink smoke or drug..smoking the green stuff, why is it allowed in your home?? end it now! The pot smoking actually is less destructive than drinking or cigarette smoking! But a pregnant mom has the responsibility of making sure the baby is 100% safe, and her behavior is NOT good, you can also report her to DHS, or other social service org....good for you for wanting to help

Answer 7

Just say it and get it out of your system. Suggest to her that she's doing her child irreparable harm and try and educate her. And then let it go. You would have said your piece at that point; unfortunately we don't have rights over other people's bodies and habits. She is hurting the baby by drinking, smoking and doing the green stuff. If she persists in this behavior after your concerned chat, back off but politely emphasize that she is not to drink, smoke or do 'green stuff' in your house and around your family - pregnant or not.

Answer 8

Personally like someone stated before you cannot stop her from doing those things but I would let her know that it is fine wherever she does those things to her unborn child but she cannot harm that baby in your presence and in your home its not acceptable and if you don't agree with it dont allow her to hurt her baby in your presence because if anything happens you will just feel guilty that you should have been stopped her. Regardless how she feels after you tell her I wouldn't care because if she does not care about the baby that didn't ask to be here than to hell with her feelings. I had a friend that wanted to smoke, drink, and party at my house, I was very blunt with her and told her that she can kill her baby at her own house but not mines and she accepted that and quit smoking now we have fun doing pampering things to ourselves instead of what she was use to we talked about it and she just felt that she didnt want the baby cared less and things were upset w/ her and the childs father and she just stopped caring and advised her that regardless that baby didnot ask to be here and she should not feel that way about the baby. I am not saying be as blunt but let her know that is not cool.

Answer 9

You can and should say something. Screw it, it's your home, and you don't approve of her behavior, so why should you have to be subject to it. It may not stop her, but at least you can feel better that you stood up for your values. And yes, all those things will hurt the baby. She should just abort, if she is going to continue behaving like this. that baby will be born mentally and physically retarded, and it will be all her fault. My sister had a friend who did cocaine when she was pregnant with her son, and he was born without legs. She has never forgiven herself. Good luck.

Answer 10

The only thing I can say is if you do not want to be around her, don't. Everything she is doing shows that she does not care about her pregnancy. Not much you can say to her because it is her choice not yours. I would just steer clear of anyone like that. More than likely that baby is going to be born with a lot of problems and the only thing I can think to tell you is report her to child protective services. They hopefully will take that child away from her once it is born.