why are people sooo afraid of REJECTION?

Question

I mean really, just walk it off, it can't be that bad! right?

Answer 1

True!
But humans have ego problem!

Answer 2

I like what MachPen said. You only take rejection as harshly as the rejection that you give out. I say, give everyone in this world a fair chance and you'll see that everytime you got rejected *or* accepted it happened for a good reason. Your optimism can take on a whole new level if you can see it that way. Life is all about give and take, and expect to be in for something you may not necessarily like even if you obtained the goal person of your dreams.

Answer 3

I read all the answers and everyone can philosophize as much as they like, but the painful truth is that rejection does hurt a great deal especially if you are a person like me who suffers from extreme shyness (social phobia) and low self-esteem.

It really is very hard to deal with this great emotional blow - I know it really knocks me out and it is very hard to pick myself up and get back in the ring of life.

It's all very fine and well for people to say that you just have to cope, accept it, walk away, learn from it, etc. That's very fine for people whose egos are intact. But there are other kinds of people in the world.

Here is my poem to further elaborate my answer.

"My Childhood"

My childhood
ridicule like barbed wire
how did the children know this word
contaminated
this word contaminated
they threw at me like a volleyball back and forth
they didn’t drop the ball
contaminated the word holds
some memories are never forgotten
would this break you, reader

That’s how I learned the power of words,
the holiness of each word
each word like a statue
each word like a holy pagan god
that’s how I know the acidity of each word

the science of brute force
the torture of ridicule
the graphic design of those childish pagan gods
Were those children my pagan gods

Dredging up these memories from the sea beds
from the mud oozing between my toes

Contaminated heard in the classroom, playground,
the street where I lived, in the elevator going home,
this word followed me wherever I went
how would you bear it, reader

No whispers, no shame
the word said out loud
without barriers
with pointed fingers
with proud laughter
how would you suffer, reader

They accused
I stand falsely accused
like Piggy in the Lord of the Flies
Now and forever the eternal outcast
Now and forever absolved from fitting in anywhere
With brute force I write these words

Answer 4

We fear rejection because it hurts. But that's just what rejection is -- it's hurt.

And a lot of it has to do with our Ego because in this world we take ourselves soo seriously. We are absurdly important in our own minds. So, whenever we're rejected, we allow it to form into resentment and anger.

Buddhists call this the pain of Samsara. We suffer, only because we choose to. But apparently, it doesn't have to be that way.

We like pleasure; we are attached to it. Conversely, we don't like pain. Second, we like and are attached to praise. We try to avoid criticism and blame. We are attached to gain, and getting what we want.

Sometimes we think: "well who does he think he is!" or "who does she think she is" whenever we're rejected, but that's just us masking our hurt because we're extremely vulnerable as human beings; it's a mechanism. And we all have different reactions to it depending on the case.

For instance: If you feel that your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse is giving someone else too much attention (flirtation), you might automatically react with jealousy. "How dare he!" or "How dare she!" we're probably thinking ... when in fact, in this world, NO ONE is obligated to be our friend, our lifetime partner, our lover, our anything.

I've met people who handle rejection gracefully. They let it slide off their backs like Teflon. I wish I could be that way in relationships (I'm embarrassed to admit that sometimes I can be very jealous). But apparently you can learn to cultivate that sort of attitude by changing your perspective on things.

Your happiness all depends on how you choose to perceive things. (Sorry - I hate to sound like a fortune cookie, but it's very true.)

It's also about how much understanding you're willing to give to the other side. Maybe there are reasons why the other side rejected you. Maybe they're short-sighted and ignorant, and you can blow them off as such.

But maybe there are some relevent reasons. Haven't you ever rejected someone, or something before? Did you ever think twice about how much it hurt the other person. Or did you just carry on w/ your life and didn't care?

I think once you get a hold of the reason behind why you're feeling rejection, you learn to deal with it better.

We grow wiser, and more content ... and rejection no longer becomes rejection, but just another word.

Answer 5

I'm not afraid of rejection I just dont like to be rejected at anything I do or say..I

Answer 6

For some people it is that deep. I know it was for me. Fear of rejection is real and prevents people from living to their full potential. Some are just not willing to take a gamble and actually meet someone. It's unfortunate b/c they are stuck to only thinking of that person as to who they want them to be instead of who they really are

Answer 7

Not so much afraid, but it HURTS!!
And those of us who struggle with self esteem anyway,
well it pushes those buttons and we generalize and think we're a total reject.
I envy someone like you that can just walk it off!
Maybe you're really handsome and have never been rejected a lot.

Answer 8

most people are afraid of rejection because they don't wanna hear a word associated with "no". when people want something, they maintain nothing but positive outlook. Me personally, i can take rejection to a certain limit, i deal with it differently just like you.

Answer 9

Because its embarassing and no one wants to go through that.