I am the maid of honor for my friend and I am starting to stress a little bit. She is having her wedding about 5 months before mine (it was suppose to be a year before!) and now things are getting tight with money. Is it ok to ask the other bridesmaids to chip in for the shower? I don't want to let her down but she does have very high standards and she is very well off in the financial department. I can't afford two weddings all by myself!Any suggestions?
2007-07-02 04:46:22 · 25 answers · asked by muppetbaby82 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
yes you can ask the other bridesmaids to chip in for the shower. that is what they are supposed to do. you can have them get certain things for the shower like food or drinks or whatever you need.
2007-07-02 04:49:05 · answer #1 · answered by cowgirlclub 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You can certainly ask the bridesmaids to chip in and help host...which would include carrying some of the financial burden. It is then up to them whether they choose to chip in or not, based on their financial situation.
Really, though, a shower ought to be easy on the finances of the host. High standards do not include forcing someone else to hold a party beyond their means to give. True high standards are about being gracious to those who give of their time and abilities and grateful for having friends who would be so generous.
When I was Maid of Honor, we held a nice tea party in my parents' living room. My mother and I made tea sandwiches and some sweet treats, we broke out her good china, and it was a lovely afternoon. The entertainment was conversation among good friends followed by the bride elect opening gifts.
No games, no rented hall, no catering, maybe a dozen or so people. Everyone had a good time.
Whatever you do, don't go into debt over a bridal shower. Keep it simple, and do what you can afford.
If a huge and fancy shower was what the bride had in mind, she should have taken financial statements before choosing a maid of honor. She must have chosen you for a reason. Trust to that and throw the best party you can without harming your financial well-being.
2007-07-02 12:01:59 · answer #2 · answered by gileswench 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Bridal showers don't have to cost a fortune. Most bridal showers can be held at home. You can make the food. Often, you won't have to do it all yourself. Mother of bride may want to bring something. Mother of groom may want to bring something. Other bridesmaids may want to bring something. You can make the cake yourself, or buy one at the bakery if you have enough money.
You write: I can't afford two weddings all by myself! Did you mean two wedding showers? You should never ever be expected to host more than one shower for the bride.
Were you perhaps referring to the bachelorette party? Do that very informally. Just ask everyone to go out . . . Dutch treat . . . everyone paying for her own food and beverages. You and the bridesmaids can chip in together for bride's food and beverages, so the financial burden won't be all on one person.
Good luck to you.
2007-07-02 13:57:31 · answer #3 · answered by Suz123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be totally fine for you to ask the other bridemaids to chip in for the shower. They'll understand.
There are also lots of ways to save some money on the shower.
Could you buy decorations that will also be used at your shower? Then you could split the cost 50/50 with your maid of honor (or all of your bridesmaids).
Could you ask some of the bridesmaids to bring food instead of buying things?
Could you have the shower at someone's house instead of paying to use a venue?
2007-07-02 11:53:23 · answer #4 · answered by Stacia T 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The tradition is that all the bridesmaids pitch in to throw the bridal shower. You should definitely ask others to help out, even if your share is slightly greater. And when it comes to your own shower, you should let the maid of honor and the other bridesmaids know that they have to share the responsibility as well. Good luck.
2007-07-02 11:51:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can ask the other brides maid's for help but, usually the mother of the bride gives her daughter a shower. My mom passed away before my wedding so, my maid of honor gave me a shower. I was very surprised and great full. I am sure your friend is aware of your finical position and knowing your getting married as well. I am sure you can do a brunch or something classy where it would not be as expensive as you think.
2007-07-05 16:02:07 · answer #6 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, ask the bridesmaids to help you with the shower. When my daughter-in-law married my son(both her parents are deceased), the bridal party even asked me to be involved. It was great. Originally they were to have it at a restaurant but it got too expensive, so I offered my home. We had a wonderful shower and everyone had a great time. I even had the men come and my husband entertained them in the back yard with a BBQ. I would even talk to the bride and grooms Mom's. We love to be involved in our childrens weddings.
FYI: the girls got African Violet plants and put ribbons on them for the guests to take home. It made the house beautiful and full of flowers and everyone had a treasured favor. Not too expensive either.
2007-07-02 19:03:58 · answer #7 · answered by ellenmarie_47 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In some areas, it seems like the bridesmaids and MOH do it - but in ours, family members do it.
The best showers are the ones in someone's home, and they don't cost a lot to do at all! Everyone chips in with making the food and appies, as well as dainties, then you just need to buy a few decorations, some drinks, punch or wine, etc. and plan some games. That's about it.
2007-07-02 16:22:25 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no I dont think its ok at all. If your the maid of honor you are supposed to throw the shower by yourself. Its ok to ask the bride, but not the bridesmaids. Unless the bride expects all the girls to help out I wouldnt ask them. to save money try going to a dollar store or having a brunch at a nice dinner.
2007-07-02 14:09:20 · answer #9 · answered by Jessica - 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was under the impression that the bridesmaids are supposed to chip in. I've been a MoH twice and we always did all the planning and stuff together and always split everything as much as we could to defray the costs. It definitely won't be a bad thing to ask for help!!!
2007-07-02 11:53:03 · answer #10 · answered by Kristy 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've always heard the bridesmaids pay for the shower (or the host, if its someone else)...I was recently MOH, and 3 of us pitched in (the other 2 BM's were groom's teenaged daughters from his first marriage & we didn't think it was right to ask them to pay)...the shower was lovely...and I never could have done that without the help of the other 2.
2007-07-02 12:23:41 · answer #11 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋