Would you let your boyfriend continue his friendship with a woman he used to have "relations" with and who gives him unasked for advice about YOUR relationship?
........ just curious
2007-07-02 03:55:15 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sorry, I didn't neccessarily mean "let". I just couldn't think of another way to put it =D
2007-07-02 04:11:19 · update #1
Honestly I'd be really pissed off about it... and I would show it, I wouldn't "make" him stop it... but I would STRONGLY imply that I don't like the fact that he's going and getting advice from some he used to have relations with. It would drive me insane!
Good Luck!
2007-07-02 03:59:56 · answer #1 · answered by TexAss 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In any relationship that has a chance to survive and thrive, there is one common element that must be present between the two people; and, that is simply "TRUST". Without the relationship is sure to fail and with it, it has a high chance of survival. If you trust your boyfriend then this friendship is harmless to your and his relationship. With respect to her unwanted advice, simply explain to him that you trust him but would like for the friendship to be an inclusive one, with you and him, and that her advice should be mutually beneficial to both of you. You could also ask that he re frame from discussing your and his relationship with her and to just be a casual friend. If he can't pledge this to you then he is not in this relationship with you for the long haul. A second and almost important aspect in any relationship is honest communications. There are many more important things that need to be present for a relationship to last, but these two are certainly at the top. Talk to him and get him to talk to you, and promise each other the Trust that each of you deserve.
2007-07-02 04:03:43 · answer #2 · answered by H. A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be friends - yes. Depending on the time frame it happened though. If it ended 2 weeks before you got involved, definetly not. If it was 5 years ago, sure. However, giving advice about your relationship is a no-go. I would ask him to tell her that although he appreciates her concern, your relationship is between the two of you and would prefer she not get involved.
2007-07-02 04:02:42 · answer #3 · answered by DizzyD 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a toughie. I'd be more bothered by the fact that she was giving him advice about your relationship than about him just talking to her. I've remained good friends with a few of my exes...somehow! =) I would be kinda bothered by that. But...if you had an ex boyfriend that you could turn to...wouldn't you want a guy's opinion when it comes to relationship advice?? That's definitely a sticky situtation. Don't let it bother you though...unless it gets to the point where you need to lay the smack down on her!! Good luck!
2007-07-02 03:59:37 · answer #4 · answered by geminiqtpie22 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely NOT! I had this exact situation come up. My ex (the father of my son) and I split up for a period. He dated someone else, but then came back to me. He had intended to stay friends with her and even said he liked having another woman to talk to about the relationship. No way! If he's with you he has no business with her.
2007-07-02 04:00:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Peachy Keen,
If that was my situation i can tell you i would be furious. If i were you i would tell him how i felt. You two are in a relationship now there's is over he needs to tell his ex that there relationship makes you uncomfortable and he can not continue it. Yeah she will be upset but she is a woman she will understand. Ask your man if this situation would be cool if it was you. Hey you would actually see where you stand with him.
2007-07-02 04:03:21 · answer #6 · answered by Blaqchinah Violation Queen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its not a a matter of "letting" him continue his relationships w/ his exes.
some guys don't give a crap about how they're girlfriends feel even it it makes them feel unsecure in the relationship.
but i would have to put my foot down if he was even considering confiding in an ex w/ he and my problems. thats not right.
if he cares he would draw the line w/ her giving advice for ya'll, being friends is totally acceptable but nothing more.
2007-07-02 04:08:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and him are the ones in a relationship now. His ex should respect that and leave you guys alone. Your boyfriend should show you more respect and understand that his existing relationship with the ex makes you uncomfortable.
If RESPECT is not the #1 factor in your relationship....it will not work.
2007-07-02 04:02:17 · answer #8 · answered by WHOISTHEPUPPETMASTER? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You trying to force them to no longer be friends is going to make them upset with you. Plain and simple.
I can't make them stop being friends, but I'd let him know how I feel, and might even approach her... woman to woman. If she isn't conniving and trying to get him back, she'll respect that.
2007-07-02 04:06:41 · answer #9 · answered by J j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not really any ones position to 'let' another person see someone or not.
I'd express that I you were not happy and that it affected your relationship.
Let him make the decision, if you don't like it, leave or get over it.
2007-07-02 04:05:11 · answer #10 · answered by l0bster_quadrille 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋