A non-believer wants to marry a catholic girl?

Question

Can anyone tell me if this is true if you are non-believer and you want to marry a catholic you are required to go to a 6 week course to learn about their religion? Is it scary? Is it true that you have to promise that you will raise your children as Catholics? Do they really only eat fish on Friday’s and don't practice safe sex because of not believing in birth control?

Answer 1

You don't have to take a six-week course on the religion, but you do need to take a marriage preparation course. And I highly recommend it for everyone.

You don't need to agree to raise the kids Catholic -- the Catholic spouse has to agree to that. How can you raise the kids something you don't believe? But you have to think about whether it's okay if she does.

She isn't supposed to eat meat on Fridays during the 40 days of lent -- come on you can deal with that.

Catholics use the Billings Method of Natural Family Planning. It is NOT the calendar rhythm method -- that was designed in the 1930s and thankfully, science has come a long way since then. Now a woman can know EXACTLY when she's fertile and when she's not. Come on, you don't want to use condoms all your life, do you? And she probably doesn't want to put chemicals in her body until she's in her mid-40s, either. In the 1970s the World Health Organization did a two-year study in five different countries and determined that when couples understand it and follow the guidelines, the Billings Method of NFP is 98% effective in preventing pregnancy.

Catholics also will tell you how it has helped keep the romance in their marriage. You see, a man needs sex to feel loved, but a woman needs to feel loved to have sex. NFP sets aside some time each month where you can show her your love and affection, kissing and snuggling, and knowing full well you're not gonna "get any." She'll feel so loved and respected, she's probably going to want to make it up to you. NFP users actually end up having MORE sex than couples using a chemical method.

So log on to wwomb.com or google "Billings Method" and see whether you can hack it.

If not, think twice about this marriage.

Answer 2

*Is Catholic*

All people who are marrying in the Catholic Church go through a course. It is called pre-Cana. The length can vary according to parish.

No it is not scary. The amount of religion covered is not the same as if you were converting.

You have to be informed that the Catholic will raise your children Catholic and only Catholic. You do not have to agree. HOWEVER, in order for a Catholic to marry a non-Catholic the Bishop must be convinced that your children will be raised Catholic and only Catholic and that you will not try to make your spouse leave the Catholic Church. If you say that you will not raise the children Catholic, the Bishop will not grant the dispensation for the marriage.

The teaching is that one is to abstain from animal/bird/reptile meat (cow/pork/foul/goat/lizard/etc) on Friday. It is not required that you eat fish (I cannot eat most fish because it makes me physically sick) but it is an option. Since Vatican II, you may chose another penance on Friday instead of abstaining from meat. This choice is up to you but it should be done in the spirit of penance. Also young children, women with child, the elderly, and the sick need not do any penance.

Catholic view it as a sin to use birth control. This is true. Look up Natural Family Planning if you wish to space your children.

Answer 3

"Can anyone tell me if this is true if you are non-believer and you want to marry a catholic you are required to go to a 6 week course to learn about their religion?"

I assume you mean RCIA classes, which would be a no, as those are for people who intend to convert to Catholicism. I am also assuming your fiancee' intends to be married under the rules of the Catholic Church. In which case she will need to give at least 6 months notice to the church, you will have to meet the priest, she will have to swear to do everything in her power to ensure that her children are raised Catholic, you will probably have to go on an Engagement Encounter weekend (Marriage Boot Camp) with her; and she WILL have to get dispensation to marry you.

Is it scary?

My ex husband found the process a little intimidating. And my Fiance' now finds it a little invasive (he's Muslim), but not really scary overall.

"Is it true that you have to promise that you will raise your children as Catholics? "

SHE has to promise. You just have to be made aware of that promise.


"Do they really only eat fish on Friday’s and don't practice safe sex because of not believing in birth control?"

Typically during Lent, Catholics abstain from meat on Fridays and on Ash Wednesday. Some choose to fast altogether. There's a better answer to this question already up here so I won't rehash it for you.

Pope John Paul II stated that condoms, inside the confines of the marital relationship, were not the best thing, but were not exactly sinful either. Catholics do engage in family planning, and the Church has advocated the use of the Rhythm Method (Tracking ovulation cycles) as a method of that. What the Church DOES frown on is chemically induced family planning, such as the Birth Control Pill, Patch, Shots or Implants. Not so much for the "You must make babies" approach, but because they are not medically necessary drugs that fundamentally alter a woman's hormonal structure and have dangerous side effects. (Heart problems, clotting issues) Also because it then puts the onus of family planning solely on the woman's shoulders. When a couple uses chemical birth control to plan their family, it is the woman who undergoes the exam, the woman who must alter her body in order to make herself available to the man without consequences. It isn't exactly an equitable relationship. The Church does allow for women to use chemically induced Birth Control if medically necessary to control a condition (Such as PMDD or Endometriosis).

The Church is fine with family planning. It is not fine with medically altering a woman unnecessarily.

Answer 4

>>Can anyone tell me if this is true if you are non-believer and you want to marry a catholic you are required to go to a 6 week course to learn about their religion?<<

I believe so.

>>Is it scary?<<

I doubt it.

>>Is it true that you have to promise that you will raise your children as Catholics?<<

It is the Catholic party that has to promise.

>>Do they really only eat fish on Friday’s<<

There never was an obligation to eat fish on Fridays, just to abstain from meat. The Code of Canon Law states, "Abstinence from meat, or from some other food as determined by the Episcopal Conference, is to be observed on all Fridays, unless a solemnity should fall on a Friday." (#1251)
http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P4O.HTM

>>and don't practice safe sex<<

"Safe sex"? What kind of sex is safer than with one's spouse in a committed, exclusive relationship?

>> because of not believing in birth control?<<

Actually, we do believe in birth control. When we wish to avoid conceiving a child, we control births by not having sex when we are fertile. Even Planned Parenthood admits that Natural Family Planning is "97-99% effective for avoiding pregnancy when used exclusively."
http://www.ppeureka.org/index.php?target=Natural%20Family%20Planning.html

Answer 5

Only if you plan to be married in the Catholic Church. The safe sex issue would be your fiance's decision (As she is the one following the faith, and so must make the choice whether to brake it or not). Also only eating fish on Friday's is typically done my most Catholics only during the 40 days of Lent. Your fiance should do this, but as you are not Catholic would not have to do this.

Answer 6

I think you need take the course only if you get married in a Catholic church.

They stopped the ban on friday meat about 40 years ago.

Yep, no condoms allowed. No pills, no chemicals.

Answer 7

<>

The Church has a program for engaged couples, popularly referred to as "Pre Cana". Catholic parishes have a Pre Cana programs, but different Churches will do them differently. That is, one Catholic parish might have several weekly hour-long gatherings while another Catholic parish does the whole thing in one weekend with two 8-10 hour long sessions.

Primarilly, the course consists of Catholic teaching as if pertains to the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony, sexual morality, raising children, and basic problem-solving skills that teach spouses not to make mountains out of molehills.


Is it scary?

When I did mine, I went there scared to death, and I am a Catholic. When it was all over, my wife was the one who was scared, I had fun.

Seriously, if this course in the Pre Cana program, most of the program consists of primers in common-sense, with a little Catholic Doctrine thrown in. When it's all over with you'll be glad you went. And there will be a number of other engaged couples there feeling exactly the same stress you feel.


<>

Catholic spouses are charged with the responsibility to raise their children in the Catholic Faith. Catholic parents MUST teach their children the beliefs and practices of the Catholic Church. Whether or not their children ultimately put these lessons into practice, well, God willing they will.

This issue sticks in the craw of many Catholic/non-Catholic married couples. It is something you and your spouse-to-be MUST resolve BEFORE you get married. Fortunately, if the program you are referring to is indeed Pre-Cana, part of it is helping Catholic/non-Catholic couples deal with and resolve such issues.


<>

Lent is a 40-day period of spiritual preparation for Easter. Part of this preparation entails giving up something for the duratation of the Lenten season.

For Catholics, Friday is a day when Catholics (who pray the Rosary) typically mediate on the Passion & Death of Jesus Christ. Jesus gave up His life for us on a Friday. The least we can do is surrender a portion of our normal diet in return. Not eating meat on Friday has become tradition for Catholics during Lent. You don't necessarily have to eat fish, you just can't have meat. Why fish? In the Bible, there is a great deal of symbolism involving fish with Jesus. This has much to do with why eating fish on Friday is such popular tradition with Catholics.


<>

I see those sematic-genius word-smiths have gotten to you. Catholics are not against birth control, per se. Artificial birth control has no place in the life of a Catholic - especially in a marriage.

First you have to understand what sex is. . . Yeah, I know. I took that same health class too. That's not what I'm talking about.

Sex - from the Catholic perspective - is the total self-giving of one spouse to another, when the two flesh become one as the consumation of the marital union.

I could go on and on about the immorality of artificial birth control. As it pertains to marriage, there is no such thing as a "total self-giving of one spouse to another" when artificial birth control is used. Artificial birth control prevents, among other things, the TOTAL self-giving. When total self-giving is removed from the act, it is no longer sex from the Catholic perspective, it is merely a perversion of it.

The point of all this is that the sex act MUST remain open to the possibility of new life. Even without artificial birth control, not every sex act will result in a pregnancy. It is easier to regulate the birth of children than you think. Natural Family Planning - another topic you will learn all about in Pre Cana - will show you how to regulate the birth of children, by working around the fertile cycles while at the same time maintaining a healthy sex life. It's possible.

Think about this logically. If you don't want to have children right away, don't have sex. It's that simple. Abstinence is 100% guaranteed not to result in pregnancy.

Of course, you're not going to abstain, but consider this:

Artificial birth control is 70% effective at best. Where is the logic in opting for this when Natural Family Planning is 90% effective?

I hope this helps.

Answer 8

"without or with faith, undesirable human beings will do undesirable issues and robust human beings will do stable issues. in spite of the fact that it takes faith for stable human beings to do undesirable issues." Steven Weinberg "the religion of the destiny would be a cosmic faith. it is going to flow beyond very own God and evade dogma and theology. masking the two the organic and the religious, it is going to be in accordance with a non secular experience bobbing up from the adventure of all issues organic and non secular as a significant team spirit. Buddhism solutions this description. If there is any faith that would desire to guard recent scientific desires it may be Buddhism." (Albert Einstein) "It replaced into, of direction, a lie what you analyze my religious convictions, a lie that's being systematically repeated. i don't think in a private God and that i've got in no way denied this yet have expressed it for sure. If some thing is in me which will properly be stated as religious then it rather is the unbounded admiration for the form of the international thus far as our technology can demonstrate it." (Albert Einstein, 1954) From Albert Einstein: The Human side, edited with the aid of Helen Dukas and Banesh Hoffman, Princeton college Press