do you know someone who commited suicide?

Question

hello everyone, just to say that i know someone who did it a year ago, my mother ,and i just want to have a bit of comfort thinking that i'm not alone going through that sort of grieving.
thank you for your answers

Answer 1

Firstly, I am very sorry to hear of your loss.
I know a couple of people in my lifetime personally that have committed suicide (I am 32 now to put this into context). However, I am a mental health professional, and have seen many clients over the years that have also committed suicide. When I was 17 a friend's younger brother committed suicide at the age of 15 after experiencing years of homophobic bullying. He poisoned himself. I didn't know him very well, other than seeing him at my friends house when I went round to visit, but he was a lovely guy, he had so much going for him. Sadly, so much bigotry in school age kids.
The second person I knew personally was a friend, who jumped off a high rised car park. He had been suffering depression for quite some time.

Answer 2

Hi!

You are far from alone. My guess is that most people will know someone during their life who took their own life. Its always tragic and leaves people feeling bewildered.

Of those I know, the one that still puzzles me most is a special forces officer who left his parachute behind on purpose when jumping from a plane. He was a good man who had saved a lot of lives.

Its sad that many young people who have not yet worked out the pattern of life take such a decision at a time when they are at their most vulnerable and things seem unbearable. If only they hung on, the wonder of life would have opened up to them.

People often try to work out what they could have done different that might have prevented the person taking their life. In the case of those tormented by bullies, the bullies need to do some serious self-examination, but in most cases there was little anyone could have done.We must give people who take their own lives the dignity of accepting that they took the decision. It may puzzle us - but it was their choice.

Good wishes.

Answer 3

I was really sorry to hear about your mum. It must have been an awful time for you. I hope that this help you a little.

I knew knew a young lad who shot himself in the head after taking his mum's car and bumping it. He was 16. It was a small commumity but the turn-out at the funeral was amazing - standing room only. He was my friends little brother. This happened over 20 years ago now. My friend says that the pain fades in time, and she remembers the happy times when they were growing up, but she will never forget hearing about it (she was pregnant at the time) and will never forget him.

She also says that what helped her was believing that there is a place for every child in Heaven, so she will see him again one day.

In time the pain of grieving will fade and you will come through this time. I lost my mum to cancer, which is different I know, so I only know a lilttle of what you are going through. I wish you strength and comfort, Lynette

Answer 4

Yes my lovely i know three people who have. Your not alone in what you are going through. There maybe a group you could join where you are all In the same sort of situation? Might get some piece and understanding from meeting and talking with others? xx

Answer 5

Yes, my Grandfather committed suicide,my brother-in-law as well as a close friend of mine.In the end the major contributing factors were;helplessness,being "lost" and alcohol was the final factor that just pushed them to take the final step.I too was on the verge of contemplating it but I pulled out of the rut just in time.My Grandfather hung himself,my ex-brother-in-law shot himself in the forehead with an old style hand-gun and my friend shot his head-off in the parking area of a Shopping Mall.I just felt helpless/could not care about anything and embarked on drinking myself to death.Then I thought that it will not solved anything and in fact it would only make it very difficult for my 17y.o.son.Since then my life has completely changed for the better.
You definitely need help with your grieving.It will take a very long time.If you can afford it see a Psychologist.Good luck to you in the future.

Answer 6

When i was in sixth grade, my step dad did. you're not alone. Sometimes when i walk into the house i still expect him to be sitting there at the table, reading his mail, and that was four years ago. The pain gets better, slowly, but it never completely goes away. I think that is better that way, so i never forget. He was an alcoholic. that's what inevitably lead him to do it. I don't like to drink. i have before, but i don't really like it at all. because i don't want to end up in his shoes. It was one of many elaborate lessons I've learned from hI'm.

but trust me you're not the only one dealing with that pain. im here for you if you need a non-judgmental ear to talk to.

Answer 7

Honey....I'm so sorry for your loss & also for the pain that your poor mother must have gone through.
People DON'T commit suicide because they're selfish....taking ones life is an act of desperation, no one chooses to die just to get back at someone else or because they're being selfish.

Whatever the reason someone chooses to end their life isn't always apparent to others. The human mind can be so simple at times yet at other times so so complicated.
Physical ailments are easy to see, so easy to understand....mental health problems have an image of someone being all ga ga, so when a person ends their life we tend to feel that we failed to notice something was amiss.....we didn't see them running around like some crazed lunatic, we didn't see them acting in any "strange" way & more often than not, didn't hear them speak of anything much being "that" wrong either (to us)....mental health in reality isn't like that at all. That's an image we have from the media & from films etc;
Media feeds the stigma surrounding both suicide and mental illness. In-fact neurological research has strongly linked suicide and suicidal behaviour to neurochemical imbalances and other problems with neurophysiology

A very good friend of mine decided that she would take her life just a few weeks ago, she finished it all by drinking weed killer...were we shocked?
God, yes! she was the most beautiful person....I'm not talking looks here but real deep down beauty, she had what we would consider everything to live for. Very successful business wise with close friends all around her that all loved her a lot (whom she knew loved her)......A loving husband who made sure she never wanted for anything & so the list goes on.

But looking back over her life it was hardly a surprise really....given her up-bringing & low self esteem that had been ingrained from childhood & perpetuated by the media.....it left me in a state of shock for sure, but knowing that she's no longer in any mental pain brings a fraction of comfort I guess.....it's the only comfort you have too right now....to know the torment your mother must have felt, is finally gone from her.

You're not alone babe.....I haven't lost a parent to suicide & cannot imagine what you must be going through....but there are many others out there who do know.....more people commit suicide each year than those that die from being murdered.
People who take or attempt to take their own lives feel trapped by hurt and hopelessness. Whatever the reality or support available, they feel isolated from family and friends, from life itself. In short, death seems to be their only option.
Not so much that they choose to die as much as choosing to end unbearable pain.

But, you, as the survivor of that choice....are the one that needs to be able to go forward with your life....
Right now you must do what feels right for you, if you want to talk about your mother, do it, if you need to cry, then do that too, whatever you do don't bottle things up inside & pretend everythings fine, it's very early days for you right now.......
I dont know how long it will take you to get over your loss, but I promise you this........one day you'll be able to think of her & your heart won't feel as though it's breaking & the dark cloud that has followed you around this past year will slowly lift, it'll take time, but it will happen.
I'm thinking of you babe.

Answer 8

A friend did this some years ago. Some people will use words like "selfish" to describe suicide but pay no attention to those people. Suicide is the culmination of clinical depression, a very real and very serious illness - just as real as any other illness which can lead to death.

Answer 9

yes 2 good friends committed suicide, each one years apart. the 1st one I was at school with & lived for years 3 doors away.the second was a friend from my local. we used to chat and have a drink and go to various bars-3 or 4 of us.when I heard of each 1 i was devistated but that`s life. I felt sorry for the people left behind.sorry for your loss but things do get better.

Answer 10

I have, but it was 22 years ago. All i can say is that, initally you will be VERY angry at the person, then you will cry buckets and get depressed. After which you will be sentimental, and eventually be able to go through the days and weeks without thinking badly of the person, but cherish what you had.