could be because she is used to the oldd days but eww im 23 right now and she wants me to marry him and she will hate me if i say NO WAY. i don't know what to say to her, because she wants to force me to. its sick and disgusting. especially because i am getting a medical degree i want to marry someone with a medical degree. PLEASE ADVICE. i am really freaked out she'll ruin my life
2007-07-01 20:12:05 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
explain to her you are in love with your secret boyfriend in France good luck
2007-07-01 20:16:11 · answer #1 · answered by cutie 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You can date AND marry your second and third cousin in almost every US state. You can date AND marry your first cousin in 26 states. I'm not sure what the rule is when it's a "once removed" cousin, but they're definitely looser than when they're not "once removed" Point being, the law really isn't an issue.
In the US it is viewed as a taboo by some. Most of those people are ignorant of the genetic and legal issues associated with it (try and get one of those people to cite an actual scientific source, they can't, they just repeat what they were told by other ignorant people. It's all hearsay).
So, what's the big worry? Incest and genetic defects? It's NOT incest. Not biblically and not legally (incest is a another word used ignorantly by people who don't know).
Genetics isn't an issue. Modern genetics has shown that even first cousins have a VERY low risk of genetic problems in their children. In fact, a woman who is over age 35 has a greater risk for birth defects than a woman married to her first cousin. New research has shown that due to the similarities in body chemistry between two cousins that cousin couples have a lower risk of miscarriage than most couples. So, don't sweat all the misinformation you hear from everyone about inbreeding and genetic deformities.
As many as 1 in 1000 couples in the US are cousins. There are 300,000,000 people in the US so that adds up to a LOT of couples.
Remember, in most parts of the world, cousin relationships are PREFERRED.
There is a site for cousin couples where you can go for the facts: http://www.cousincouples.com
2007-07-02 12:34:16 · answer #2 · answered by EMC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, modern research shows that the genetic problems caused by marrying kin, are not that big a deal after all, so you can disregard a lot of that baloney.
And if legal in your area, marrying cousin would not be that big of a deal, if it is your idea. If you are truly in love with your cousin, I would pursue it.
But I would not do it just because grandma says so. She is not going to have to endure the consequences. You need to control your life, and not be controlled by others.
2007-07-02 07:03:36 · answer #3 · answered by madcat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really there is nothing wrong with marrying your cousin so long as it isn't your first cousin. The baby will most likely be born healthy. However if you don't want to marry your cousin then just don't listen to her and tell her that you are an adult and don't her need her help in picking out a marriage partner.
2007-07-02 03:27:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are an adult women. No one can tell you who or not to marry. Whether it be your cousin or not.
Speak to your Grandmother, and tell her respectfully how you feel. There is nothing more you can do. Tell her it is your life, and you have to do what your heart tells you to do. You are not ready to marry now. When the right person comes along you will be ready.
She will love you anyway, and still be your grandma. So don't worry, and don't be freaked out.
No one can ruin your life. It is your choice. Good luck, and G-d bless.
2007-07-02 03:23:13 · answer #5 · answered by michelebaruch 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
let her know in most states it is against the law and any judge or clergy will NOT marry first cousins knowingly. it is also incest and yes disgusting. she may say she'll hate you but eventually she should get over it.if she doesnt oh well. my grandmother was pretty old when she passed away,and she even knew it would be wrong for family to marry family.your grandma should know better.
2007-07-02 03:19:04 · answer #6 · answered by crazybuckeye_1 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She cannot force you into this ridiculous marriage. You have to tell her not to interfere with your life and that when you decide to marry it would be someone you chose and definitely a cousin. Also what does this cousin of yours have to say about this and your parents.
2007-07-02 04:31:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show her it's against the law - tell her you hate to disappint her but you can't that's the law and that's that. She'll deal with it. You cannot live your life according to what she thinks you should do - it's your life.
Be friends with him by all means, but she cannot force you into anything you don't want to do - stand up for yourself!
You could always move far away until she dies.
2007-07-02 03:15:39 · answer #8 · answered by Unicornrider 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
EWWWWW, let her know it's not only morally wrong but incest is illegal and you don't want three headed children. And you can tell her your too busy with your medical schooling to even think about marriage. And she can't force you to marry anyone.
2007-07-02 03:19:02 · answer #9 · answered by CLM 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Be kind yet honest about why you won't marry your cousin. Or simply say that you are waiting to finish school before you make that decision.
2007-07-02 03:14:53 · answer #10 · answered by cynical 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why hasn't anyone mentioned Love?
no.1 it's disturbing that she'd want you to marry your relative, but is she considering that perhaps you haven't fallen in love and want to marry him?
Btw, if she's sane she won't hate you, might be pissed off but if you can't stand up for yourself regarding your Life you won't be respected either.
2007-07-02 03:24:38 · answer #11 · answered by caseytopia 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋