We also have 4 grown kids. My X due to his new wife, does not see or talk to me or his kids or has NEVER seen his 3 grandsons. I am still very close to my X's family that lives 200 miles away. They still visit and call. I feel I have known them for over 35 years and they have always been nice to me. My question is ...when my X in laws die, can i go to the funeral or should I stay away because it may make everyone uncomfortable including me, with my X there with his new wife?
2007-07-01 19:52:59 · 18 answers · asked by pure_24kt 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can go...I would go...
2007-07-01 20:06:53 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I was married also for 25 years, and had the same dilemma. I went to the funeral of my mother-in-law. Because I wanted to go. Not for any other reason. Follow your heart.
Who cares what your ex or anyone else feels. You are respecting your family. Yes I say your family as you are still close to them. They will feel hurt if you don't go. It is the correct thing to do.
2007-07-02 03:17:06 · answer #2 · answered by michelebaruch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is only fitting that grandchildren go to the funerals of loved grandparents and you as the mother should be there to support and help your children. If ex husband should feel uncomfortable about you paying respects to his parents that is something he can deal with, while you on the other hand have only to look good and hold your head up as you maintained a relationship with his parents and allowed your children to see them when many women would not.
I find it hard to believe that a man who could abandon his children and not act in a respectful way to a wife of 30 years would even feel any unease with you there.
2007-07-02 03:07:44 · answer #3 · answered by donny_mollysmom 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Of course you should go,You are the mother of their grandchildren. If you didn't go, You would be the small minded one.You were and still are very loved by these people because you were part of their daily lives and they probably never took sides in your decision to divorce. They are and always will be your extended family and you need to step back into their lives now before they pass on. You shouldn't feel like you are intruding because you aren't.You belong to the family.
2007-07-02 03:07:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is probably something that would have to be dealt with, when the time occurs. You have a right to go to the funeral, because your children have the right to attend their grandparents' funerals.
Just because it may be awkward between you and your ex's new wife, doesn't mean it should prevent your children from attending the funeral if they want to.
2007-07-02 02:59:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well, only you know your situation. You think they're gonna die soon?! But anyway, don't feel bad for going. Somethign simiar happened in my family, my uncle cheated in his wife and we were all very close to his X. She went to my grandma's funeral and we all knew none of the problems were her fault, we still love her! I'm sure everyone in his family knows it was all him, plus, your X inlaws loved you too. You won't be there for him, you're there for them!! If you wanna avoid major problems just go for a bit, show your respects and split!
2007-07-02 03:01:15 · answer #6 · answered by P.C.E. 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why would it be wrong for you. You are still a family member to them and very good friends. Your ex has no reason to say or do anything to prevent you attending. You don't even have to talk to him. But it would be respect from you to give your condolences to him and any other surviving member of this family. But wether or not you attend is up to you alone.
2007-07-02 04:15:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you still have a relationship was his family then you should go to the funeral. I think it would be the respectful thing to do.
2007-07-02 04:25:40 · answer #8 · answered by cathy h 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You will be there to grieve for yourself and to help your children deal with the death of a grandparent that obviously loved and cared for both you and the kids.
To hell with your ex and his latest little tartlet - wife or no - don't let the thought of them ruin something for you that you deserve and that your kids deserve - the right to grieve for a family member.
2007-07-02 02:59:45 · answer #9 · answered by Lili Montegue 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go! You love them and they love you. They would expect you to be there and I am sure they wouldn't miss your funeral for the world. I am not divorced, but I do understand this kind of relationship with your in-laws. Screw him and just go.
2007-07-02 03:04:01 · answer #10 · answered by Eric G 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are still part of their family, why would it be uncomfortable for anyone but your ex and his wife? And who cares if they are the only two affected by it?
2007-07-02 02:56:30 · answer #11 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋