Leaving your love behind for the parents and agreeing to marry a person whom parents choose. Do you agree?

Answer 1

Almost all the answers here say NO. That’s my answer too. Please check my reply to a similar question I gave yesterday link to that question >>>> http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AjpHuBfZtYauepfe0yClHsqQHQx.?qid=20070701054010AAgWfef&show=7#profile-info-MF2fNi1Laa My only point to tell you here is that if you agree for the marriage against your sweet will that will never be successful & you will never be able to adjust with such a man after knowing this man whom you love & have know for so much time. This hard fact you cannot deny & what will be the result that you will leave the person chosen for you by your parents & try to return back to your lover. So best thing is to tell your parents in details about your lover & tell them about your intentions now itself before it’s too late. Best of Luck. Must read my reply in the question I have mentioned here.

Answer 2

Ethically it is not good to leave somebody who love you best without sufficient reasons. At the same time it is not good to break the expectations of your parents also. Think in a practical way. Analyse the things. Why parents object your love affair. If there is solid reasons (socio-economic or personality compatibility) of course you have to go for your parents. Because the love that you may feel now can be deteriorated when brushing with harsh realities of life. At that time if you are left without support from your families, the condition will be more worse. If all the other things being fine and still they oppose only on emotional ground, tell them be cool and go for your love. I told you from my private life only. I also have a love marriage. But all the other things (the basic parameters that people look for an arranged marriage) were compatible. But my parents opposed it due to their own reason. I strongly told them "if this is not, nothing will be there". Then they had to agree and I am leading a successful married life now. But if there was no compatibility and I have done this, I don't know what would have been. So think properly before taking any decision, because you are the one who has to live.

Answer 3

i am the one left by my boyfriend and he marry a person whom parents chose.

My true advice is, pls do consider your choice..it is not only your choice. Your every choice will also affect her life. Not follow what your parent chose for you make you like a human being. The best in the world is human being, the best thing in human being is their mind. WIthout mind, what's still left in your life.

I agree marriage is life decision. Even you can choose in this critical moment, i wonder how you face your life in the future.

Please fight for the true love. If it is true love, it is worth to fight for but not flight. But if you think it is not true love, you just want playing playing,... then it's okay for you to leave your "love" behind for the parents. This is your choice. Fine.
But please remember your 'love' would always hurt because of your choice. And you and your love should accept the truth painfully and do not any socially unacceptable thing after you are occupied.

Please dont be selfish.

Answer 4

Let's get real for a moment. The Civil War freed the slaves.
Are your parents in charge of what your heart feels towards someone? No, they are NOT. That's like getting a surprise gift and not liking what you got. That is something that is done in third world countries. I can't tell you enough that you would be the unhappy person in the world if you were forced to do this. Your parents cannot, I repeat, they CANNOT make you do this.

Answer 5

I don't agree with this. I dated a guy who was Armenian, so it was a culture thing, but anyway, we dated for a couple of years and it was pointless. His parents would never accept me, I wasn't Armenian and they already had someone back in his country for him to marry anway. He didn't want to marry her nor did he want to meet her. It's funny because recently we ran into eachother (8 years later) and he ended up going to meet her just a few months prior. He didn't like her and they didn't hit it off. He is still single to this day. His choice would have been to be able to marry me, but his parents wouldn't accept this. So I moved on and now he's left miserable and single. I think a person should marry who THEY want to marry. I mean it's the rest of THEIR life being dealt with and not the parents. I personally feel it's selfish for parents to make their child do this. I say marry who you want and forget about your parents. They'll eventually accept your marriage and get over it.

Answer 6

No I don't agree. You should marry who you love. In the end the one that is going to have to put up with the spouse is you not your parents. They are not in the same situation. Marry for love.

Answer 7

No, I think that a person should marry whom they love, not someone their parents choose, or someone their parents are more agreeing upon. YOU are going to be in this relationship not your parents....I don't think that is right at all. I think its sad when people can't marry whom they choose because their families disapprove...if you love them, you love them. Its as simple and complicated as that.

Answer 8

Shilpa,
If you go as per our culture, parenting and social system then there are many factors that would determine the things.
As per western culture its NOOOOOO, but Indian culture does not say direct yes also.
I would not like to take caste/creed in to consideration, but astrology, Yes!
You can cross check your parents choice, if that fellow is in better state and things, as desired as you expect then you should go along with your parents.
This would put off lots of untold pressure from the society on your parents.
You have to look at lot many things before you break the tradition of your family, marriage of your other brothers and sisters, future of your parents and sp. place/caste/religion to which you belong.
Your step should not hurt the future or life of others.

Answer 9

i dont agree with that idea. after all you will be the one who would spend the rest of your life with that person and basically its not your parents. i mean you will be the one who would be married and not them. so why dont you explain that to your parents that your old enough to decide on your own? or that your mature enough to make decisions for yourself? you know what, you dont have to compromise yourself by agreeing to marry to the person whom your parents choose for you..life is too short to be wasted on being sad,,i know you wouldnt be happy spending your time with the person you dont like.

Answer 10

No not really.
Arranged marriages can work really, but it needs a commitment to work. If its forced marriage then there's always going to be resentment.
Sometimes your heart lies to you though. My first marriage was for love and he turned out to be abusive.
Sometimes parents do know what is best.
But if she/he is truely good person and you love them, its better you marry them than someone you don't really want to marry.