Okay, I'm in my early twenties, I'm successful, I have a good job, I'm going to be graduating from college in a little over a year from now, I'm attractive, I'm pretty smart, all in all, I have a lot of things going for me. EXCEPT in the relationship department. I can't find a guy that I'm genuinely interested in, and when I do, they don't seem to want me!! It drives me insane. And I agree with the guys that say "nice guys finish last" because it's definitely true. All the men that I've dated who were honest, nice, polite, and good to me, I've cut things off with,I didn't feel any chemistry with. However, with some of the other men I've dated, who were even less than POLITE, I forgave numerous times for inconsiderate things they had done, made excuses for,and just plain couldn't get over them for the longest time! I became obsessed with them! Why am I like this? Will I ever meet a "good guy" that I'm honestly attracted to, and will I ever have a healthy relationship with a guy? Thanks
2007-07-01 19:43:27 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Okay...first off I definitely don't lack in the boob department lol thanks though, smarta*s.
Secondly, I am honestly attracted to ...okay...yeah..you guessed it...the "bad boy" type. Why...I don't know, but I feel more chemistry, more attraction, more intrigued, and genuinely interested in this type. (I have dated 10 scorpio men!)
Thirdly, I do love myself. I honestly love myself, I care for myself. Yes, I put up with crap, but I always think positively, and believe that someday I won't get the sh*t end of the stick from these men. I try...i really do TRY, to be the best I can, and show my guy the best of me, hoping that he'll realize it, and shower me with his love someday?And it sometimes happens, but just as quickly he takes it away.
I love myself, but sometimes..i can't help but feel like i'm not good enough. But ..a part of me feels like this is kind of good for me?To always try to improve myself? To never settle? I don't know,it's a bad thing/but also a good thing in a sense?
2007-07-01 20:13:35 · update #1
This has to do with your view of yourself. People who like people who treat them poorly, view these people as loving them because they have the insight to know that you deserve to be treated poorly. In other words, you have a poor self-image.
This is hard to change. When nice guys treat you with respect, you think they do not relate to you,otherwise they would not be so good to you.
If you look at your parents, you will see that one or both treated you like you were undeserving.
Change that perception of yourself and you will find the good guys attractive again.
Good luck.
2007-07-01 19:45:23 · answer #1 · answered by ignoramus 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you and many other women will be attracted to the the bad boy type and then and only then will you realize that being married to a murderer, rapist, child abuser, kiddie porn director, thief, and lyer is not a great choice. Men are Very good or very bad and very few in-between. When you reject the good guys it sends a powerful message and they will try in every way to be a bad boy just to have someone be attracted to them. You also give the bad boys permission to do what ever they want. You will never find a good guy that you will have a healthy relationship with. The teacher I had in high-school who taught this subject said "you attract what you are not what you want"!
2007-07-01 20:47:27 · answer #2 · answered by Matthew E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a hold of the movie "The Secret" and watch it intently. Pay attention to everything they are saying because it's all very true and meaningful.
Then go onto the web site of EFT.com (Emotional Freedom Techniques) which is acupuncture that has been 'evolved' by tapping on the points.
Your problem with guys is that you're not on the same vibrational level they are, and that's where they need to be with you.
I'm telling you the truth...if you do these two things...you will find the love of your life; guaranteed.
2007-07-01 19:51:45 · answer #3 · answered by chole_24 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you will find a good guy. Don't worry all you need to do is hang in there. Keep looking and sooner or later you will definitely find someone. Not me of course cause you are too old but someone. ^_^
Anyway, guys like to tease and a really attractive guy will kind of ignore you and do inconsiderate things... Kind of it will totally attract you and get you interrested but while containing a certain courtesy toward you.
So therefore just turn the tides and do the same back... Trust me IT WORKS WONDERS!!!
2007-07-01 20:02:54 · answer #4 · answered by jack l 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Exploring your question with a counselor is a good idea. You have good reasons for being attracted to the 'bad boys'. But it is worth sorting out just why that is. Some of it is likely due to your own family of origin experiences, but also some of it seems to be something that lots of women experience. Trying to understand how you function and how to get to a place of balance is all part of what good counselors do.
This is worth the time and effort to if you want to be in a long-term serious relationship, because, by definition, the 'bad boys' aren't so good to be in these with.
2007-07-01 19:51:04 · answer #5 · answered by Michael 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I found for me that I attracted men that were just as sick as I was. As I started to work on myself, and learned to love myself, I began to attract better men. It would have been sad for the healthy guy to come along and me be to mentally sick to be with him. The right guy is out there for you. When the time is right, you will find him and it will all happen easily and without much effort. Just have faith in who you are because we attract what we are. Anyway that is how it worked for me.
2007-07-01 19:52:29 · answer #6 · answered by Francis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although you say you are pretty, smart and all of the other good things you really truly don't believe it. You clearly have self-esteem issues and feel you are not good enough for a "good guy"!
Once you start to love yourself, then and only then will you find someone thats good for you.
2007-07-01 19:59:37 · answer #7 · answered by JESSICA G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what you mention, i dont think a guy next door will do for you. You need someone challenging and someone who can take charge. Since you are well established yourself you are looking for someone who is dynamic. A plain good looking vanilla guy may attract you once but is not a fair match for your personality. This is just my opnion!
2007-07-01 19:47:53 · answer #8 · answered by All Aces 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ha... I've seen this a number of times... And they say that the first step to a cure is realizing you have a problem. Good Luck
2007-07-01 19:53:00 · answer #9 · answered by Jon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sn't itWell, what is the family history telling you, do you want to be yourself or follow suit? Do you want drama or happiness?
You only have one life to live!! Live for your needs or others?
Tough one,? Simple live the way you want to live, be happy, but remember you leave a memory/legacy behind you
Always think ahead- Do you have any kids? What will tyhey have to deal with- be judged by? Yes you are entilrd to a life but -so are they!! I probaly am way off course. Just my thoughts at this moment- please hold no grudges!
2007-07-01 20:47:22 · answer #10 · answered by Makeshift 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋