Why is he doing this to me? I love him?

Question

I am in love with a man who also has feelings for me but he says that staying friends is the best way to go so no one will get hurt. I really want to take it further with him and I am so in love and I want to make love with him. Im married and would leave him anyday for this man that I love. He is also married and he said he needs to stay faithful to his wife, but she is such a horrible person. I don’t understand what he sees in her when she’s not worth it. Why is he doing this to me? Why won’t he let me love him?

cheating is ok for women though, so why would he deny me ?

Answer 1

Because he loves his wife and is a good man and is staying faithful to her, unlike you, what you are doing is terrible, leave him alone and be with your husband. Dont go and ruin this mans marriage, you home wrecker

Answer 2

First of all....you're looking for love in the wrong place. Neither of you are free, so what you have is an empty love. I don't know if I could or would trust a love the involves such a double triangle.

My suggestion is that you get a divorce, you sound so unhappy. Look to find someone who is available.

He may want or need to stay with his wife of so many years because of the history they have. Many people feel that way.

I'll share a secret . . .I had a similar situation. . . .my marriage was over and I looked to another man with the same conviction. He never did leave his wife....I did move on....met a wonderful man and now have a good life. Love must be mutual....and this man can't give you what you need.

Move on....for your own sanity.

Answer 3

Hi! Cheating is never OK, OK? What happened to the love you had to your man? And how do you know that the woman he is married to is so horrible? Why should any of you two "exile lovers wanna be" be faithful to each other? And have you even tried to talk to your man? He must be a very bad person I guess? Talk out so any one can hear, don`t go and hide behind everyone. Be open and tell just how you feel. Be frank about it and see your man`s reaction on this. Be fair and tell, don`t continue this before you have done that at least. You must have had your good times too? Be responsible girl, and to be frank to you, girl, you can do better. Married men on the checker is so the `90`s, and out! good luck. Peace and love from Norway

Answer 4

first of all, cheating is not ok or even right for a women or a man in any situation.

the man you are in love with is an honorable man. he put his commitment to his wife first before his own needs. you should follow that man lead and do the same in your marriage.

you may see his wife as horrible but whatever reason (ie: kids, religion, tradition) he has chosen to stay with his wife in this marriage. leave him alone and respect his wish.

if you are unhappy, then divorce your husband. don't destroy another couple's marriage. i feel sorry for your husband since you would be willing to divorce on a drop of a dime.

Answer 5

You are both married, to separate people. Therefore any ''feelings'' between the two of you should be put on the back burner, and potentially forgotten.

You both made vows to your spouses, and if you do not feel like your marriage is worthwhile, then why stay in one?

Instead of trying to have an affair and wreck two marriages, end the marriage that you seem to be so unhappily involved in. Do your spouse a favor. He'd prefer divorce over adultery, I'm sure.

Answer 6

First of all.Stop cheating on your husband.You aren't actually cheating yet but you are cheating in your heart because you want to be with someone else.This guy dosen't want you.That is plain and clear.He used you for whatever he could and now he is done with you.He is doing this to you? No you have done this to yourself.You let yourself be used and he does not care about you.When anyone says lets be friends its a nice way of saying get lost.Grow up and understand that when you play the game you have to pay the pain.He used you ,let it go.Whats wrong with your husband that you have to cheat?If you don't love someone anymore,have the decency to walk away and not cheat.You might be just getting your just desserts. Best of luck.

Answer 7

Because of the fact that you are already married & it's too much of a complication. He probably does not want any more headache than he probably has with his wife. The fact that you two are both married & have feelings for one another..That's sticky & he's probably trying to make it work with his wife b/c some people just don't want to do the cheating or divorce route. I think you should respect his wishes...Apparently he's not willing to leave her for you, like you would leave your husband for him.

Answer 8

What you are doing is wrong. You need to leave him alone. He has already told you that he just wants to be friends and stay faithful to his wife. If you're saying that you would leave your own husband any day, then maybe you should. It sounds like you don't love him anyway. Don't be selfish. Don't ever give your heart again to someone when you know that they are not able to give you theirs.

Answer 9

He says he wants to be friends because in real world speak that means he doesn't want you for a long term relationship and he's not willing to risk his family for you. Who are you to judge his wife? You don't know what their life is like or what they have been through. Why are you married to a man you have no respect or love for? You need to see a counselor about your clingy tendancies and your lack of self respect.

Answer 10

I also loved a faithful married man who has 2 kids & i created situations in my favour. These married men just pretend to be faithful but its very easy to get them on your side. Single physical touch works more than a emotional touch. Whenever i used to met him i used to hug him tight in my arms & kiss him passionately. These things also made his wife jealous that created fight between them & he divorced her because i created a seductive feeling for me. He left his wife for me. Now he's all mine & we are happy together.