We have been friends for a couple of years. My marriage has been in the process of divorce. We work together on some community projects. He is my neighbor. Our kids are friends. I know his wife but we are not friends. I believe she suspects, but won't say anything to him because she has told him to go elsewhere afterall. She is from another country where the culture was for the men to have mistresses. I think she meant, go get it somewhere else once every 5 years, not with the neighbor, but she wasn't specific. I like him. I am VERY attracted to him. We have a good time together. We are mutually respectful and loving towards one another. He takes the edge and some of the scariness and lonliness out of my divorce. I think his wife is crazy for sending this great looking guy off to do whatever, although he will not divorce her. His parents divorced and he thinks it is very bad for the kids.
2007-07-01 19:14:31 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i just read all those responses and wow you really got blasted. But its funny a lot of men and women have affairs but yet everyone pretends its all the other people in the world having the affairs. What happens to some is life has a way of changing for us so most don't have the intention of cheating but life has away of turning itself around and when put in situation your thinking process changes. For others they are just lying to themselves
Oh and you and the neighbor go ahead and enjoy yourself this is probably going to be the best sex you will ever have.
2007-07-02 17:44:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
No way it is not OK! He is a smooth talker, and in for no good other than for himself that is. I don`t believe his wife have said that at all. And he don`t want a divorse? He is playing you girl! wake up, have you not learned anything? first off, as he is cheating on his wife, but don`t wanna get a divorse? He is a lying bast..d. If it is so bad at home for him and they fight all the time? then the kids would get it much better without living under the same roof. The best for the kids, is to have two grown parents, who is polite and calm every time they meet when the children was around. I am myself a divorce child, but my parents kept their fighting away from us kids, so I had the best from both. Don`t believe a word this man tells you. He is nothing than a slippery snake, if he was anything else, he would wanted to marry you. He is not, what he wants is some new meat (sorry the word, but that is what that kind of man tells his friends at work, all behind your back), a fling, a lover on the side. run away, there is good guys there. good luck, peace and love from Norway
2007-07-01 19:30:52 · answer #2 · answered by thefallen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is wrong. It may not seem like it now, but later this relationship will cause problems for both of you and possibly for your children as well. A married person is still a married person no matter what the status of that marriage is. You need to look for comfort elsewhere, maybe some friends or a support group.....but not in bed with your married neighbor.
2007-07-01 19:30:31 · answer #3 · answered by medusarayn@sbcglobal.net 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your kids are friends...you are neighbors and you have the audacity to try and have an affair with this man? Do you not care at all about others feelings? Imagine your children's embarrassment knowing that their mommy is a *****! Imagine what people of the community will think about you and your family, Who will want their husband working with you if you have no qualms about sleeping with married men! Come on...grow up and look elsewhere.
2007-07-01 19:22:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
So you plan on having sex with him and that's it. Are you crazy enough to think he will be with you like this forever. Sounds like all you are is the other woman and you no how we wives feel about the other woman.You are just another female who fell for a married mans sad story about the wife not loving him or giving him what he needs or understanding him poor, poor man. Have you given it any thought to what the wife goes through day in and day out with a man like him bet you haven't. Don't you no you are the one who will walk away or be thrown away with a broken heart or can't you see past his dick.
2007-07-01 19:36:32 · answer #5 · answered by Teenie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Uhmmm....and you, of course not being friends with his wife have only his word for it?
Are you insane? All I will say is that women let themselves believe what they want to, and will rationalize like mad to make it fit their version of events.
If you want to believe that load of tripe, go ahead. I think if you do, the neighborhood community projects are going to become very uncomfortable. And who knows what your kids will hear from other kids who listen to their parents talk?
But hey, you both are so respectful of one another and he eases the divorce pangs....grow up! You need to be thinking about your kids - if you think the divorce is hard and scary for you, then try, if you can spare the time, to imagine what it must be like for them.
Being a parent and bringing children into the world means that you are agreeing to give up part of your life, sacrifice even, for your kids. They need you now, RIGHT NOW, and this is when you need to step up to the plate and put them first.
Stop taking his calls, don't hang out with him alone, and work on helping your kids adjust to their new family. He is married, probably lying, and you basically admitted he is a rebound thing. Rebounds never really work out anyway, so save yourself the heartache sure to follow and focus on your family - that is what parents and adults do.
2007-07-01 19:30:48 · answer #6 · answered by Lili Montegue 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah if the wife says its okay for him to find another and have fun just come home and no divorce and you are fine wth that and also know from the get go its just a companion thing and some good sex and company . then no one gets hurt.
But unless you hear it from the horses mouth ( the wife in this case) he could just be telling you what he thinks you want to hear. I can't see many wives saying oh yeah by the way honey have fun screwing the secretary. dont' forget to bring home the milk and have a nice day.
2007-07-01 20:08:34 · answer #7 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
So, he thinks divorce sends a horrible message, but he condones adultery??? I think that you are setting yourself up for some serious pain. Cut things off now while you can, before it goes any further. Whether or not he has permission is irrelevant. The fact of the matter is, he is married, and so are you, as you are only in the process of divorce.
2007-07-01 19:33:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Married people should not "get it elsewhere." That means people going through a divorce also. Married is married until the divorce is finalized. Legally separated does not mean you can "get it elsewhere" either.
Cheating is cheating.
2007-07-01 20:10:52 · answer #9 · answered by Opr13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because he said that she said that, doesn't make it true. Even if she did say that, did she mean it? You won't know unless she tells you herself. Get her permission personally or cut it out. No one likes a cheater. Women like that are looked at by society as the morals of a hooker and gullibility of an 8 year old.
2007-07-01 19:26:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anne 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋