20 years old and I have to be home by 10. I want to get out...?

Question

Im 20 years old, not an alchie or a druggy, or even a party chick. I work and go to school, the problem is I cant stand being home. My parents give me the most ridicoulous curfew and say as long as I live here I live under theyre rules. They argue a lot, my older bro is 24 and he does whatever he please and they dont tell him anything. He has screwed up his life in so many ways and yet they respect him more than me. They say because he is guy he can stay out later while me being a girl its dangerous :0 I live in a tinyhouse no privacy when I sleep, or study. They walk in here and talk as if Im invisible, I get criticezed for my body weight Im 5'3 and weigh 134. they would flip out if I want to leave so I dont know what to do. I need my privacy, I want to get a life rather than being locked up in this hell hole ahhhhhh.

I have a decent job but not enough to be on my own.

thanks everyone for those answers :) actually no, I always come home precisely at the time they say sometimes even earlier. I have tried tlaking to them about it but then again they say no I must abide by there rules and the streets are dangerous at night drunk drivers, etc... moving in with a friend sounds good but Im afraid im going to get my *** kicked :/ by my parents lol..kinda dumb I know

Answer 1

Move out. It can't get any more obvious than that.

Answer 2

Have you tried discussing to your parents in an adult manner about your curfew??? Are you living with your parents why you go to college? If you aren't going to college you should look for a college...if your parents will let you first!!!! Ask them why they respect your brother more than you...and dont take that whole gender thing for an answer. State that you are responsible...you haven't done anythign that has screwed your life up yet unliek your brother. If you can make a deal...

Try pushing your curfew little by little. Then why don't you try reasoning with them that you only will leave the house and stay with your friends all the time. Then try and make them know that you will let them know where you are going all the time and will have your cell phone with you the whole time. Your parents love you and everything but yeah you have a life too. So just try and make a reason with them.

Whatever you do, don't get all huffy and puffy and whiny when you talk to them. Talk in an adult tone, don't show any child actions...that will only make you look like a child too!!! That may be a reason why. And if they are worrying about your weight, ask them to take oyu to a doctor or something and see how your weight is if you are under, over, or just right.


well good luck!

Answer 3

You have been there 2 years too long as it is now. What are you waiting for? You are an adult. You don't have to ask your parents permission to move out. But you do have to follow their rules if you are still living off of them in their house. Go apartment hunting when the morning comes. You don't have to tell them, just do it.

Living on your own is a little scary, but you will do just fine and will be happier by far with your own place and your own rules.
Find a gal that will share the rent with you, or find a better paying job, or a second job. What ever it takes.

Answer 4

Your parents are really trying to protect you against society. In their minds a curfew and having you home does that.
If you are working part-time and attending school try to locate a roommate or two and see if all of you can locate an apartment to rent and share costs. You might even look i the paper and see who is looking for a roommate.
Explain to your parents that you really love them and they have provided a good home but you need some space and a private life. If you think assistance is needed, talk with your minister, priest, rabbi and ask how to handle the issue.

Answer 5

Ok I know this isn't good advice but I was in the same situation as you and I rebelled against my parents even though I had a curfew and just went out and stayed out late....after countless arguments and threats to kick me out they couldn't do sh|t all and I basically had my way. I know that advice sucks but your an adult now I mean your 20 years old for christ's sake and your not even a bad girl! Plus you make your own money too! If I were you I would save up my money and move out because you are a woman and people can't just be walking in and out of your room as they please, they need to realize that your a human being, your a young adult especially a young woman and you need your privacy! Have you tried talking to them? Lay your feelings out on the table.

Answer 6

This is unfair.
Have you ever actually stayed out after your curfew- what did your parents do about it?
Are you financially dependent on them?
May be they see your brother's faults and don't want you to turn out like him.
If I were you I would
a) speak to them quietly and sensibly about your feelings
b) begin staying out later and showing them that you can be responsible
c) leave home, go live with a friend or another relative- if they want you back they will see you need to be treated like an adult.
You must do something about this silly situation, but be sensible and mature.

Answer 7

I suggest that you write a letter to your parents, explainly (as lovingly as you can) that you are now an adult and wish to be treated as such.
Not that it is any reason for them not treating you as an adult, but you do need to deal with your weigh, too before it gets worse (It is easier now before it is TOO serious)
If they refuse to listen to your point of view you could look for residential work of some kind.
How about a year with VSO? That would not only give you a measure of independance but would demonstrate your maturity, too.

Answer 8

HONEY GET A ROOMMATE SO, MAYBE NOT A GIRL. I MOVED OUT WHEN I WAS 17. STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL AND WOULD GO TO WORK AT SUBWAY FOR $7.00 PER HR. IT WAS HARD BUT I MADE IT. OR YOU CAN LOOK AT IT THIS AWAY YOU PARENTS ONLY WANT WHATS BEST FOR YOU. WHEN YOU GET OLDER YOU WILL SEE. BETTER YET JUST WAIT TIL YOU HAVE CHILDREN OF YOUR OWN.

Answer 9

hello you only have two options stay and put up with it or leave and deal with what comes with that. Theres no magic answer, I would choose to leave and start living my own life your parents should come round to the idea. best wishes

Answer 10

um, sorry to tell you this but your parents are kinda right when they said as long as you live under their roof, stick with their rules. it's not right, but it's gotta be done.
you should look at it as a good thing, you got them to watch your back and push you to become SOMEONE, look at your brother and what his freedom does to him. you have the perfect example right in front of you, why are you not seeing it? stop fighting against the situation and embrace what you have, you won't feel so suffocated if you do.
don't argue with them about the "unjust" you feel, show them that you are a mature responsible adult and they will treat you like one soon. good luck.

Answer 11

Leave home and move in with me. Then you would know what a real hell hole is like!! LOL Good luck whatever you do