how do you deal with a sense of gradual loss?

Question

no one has died, thank goodness, knock on wood, nothing major has happened, but I just feel like I've gradually, slowly but surely, been having less and less fun over the years. it seems to get harder and harder to get people out, to get myself out, even-- and when i finally do, it's ok but it's not as fulfilling as I had hoped. i put a lot of effort into getting out there but others just don't seem to care.

Answer 1

your question seem to be a little vague, but ill try to answer it nonetheless...

you might be experiencing a quarterlife / midlife crisis.

what you need to know is that change is inevitable and that one must enjoy life while it lasts. how many times do we get to live anyway? so be thankful for your health.

this may also be connected to the movie ive recently seen, 'the exorcism of emily rose'. just be thankful youre not in her shoes and 'way out' for you is not as dark and depressing as her state.

Let the sunshine in! Face it with a grin
smilers never lose, and frowners never win!

Good luck!

Answer 2

This is the first sign that you are waking up from some kind of life slumber. See it as a gift. Some people go through life and never awake! Take a look at your life and what makes you happy. Are you doing things because you want to? Or because you feel you have to? There are ways to make small changes and get the passion and happiness back in your life. When you do the things you enjoy, you somehow find people that are like minded and things start to click, friendships form. Maybe going "out" isn't where you'll find fun and fulfillment anymore. Find things that bring you joy and focus on doing them. You'll find others that care about the same things you do. Good luck :)

Answer 3

i think you are worrying too much about having a good time, i do this sometimes. For me right now, summer has come, school is out and my friends are gone, I go to a university and I dont live where I grew up so I dont really have friends by me at this moment . I have to make an effort to do things, even if it is with myself.

I love to be at the beach, so I will walk around the beach and take everything in. I also have started to do yoga, since march, and I find I really relieves me of stress and worries, plus it gives me something to look forward to.

Even more recently I have gone back to church, I am by no means super religious, but I feel some sort of connection there and there are people that I can somewhat relate to.

You have to look for things to do that will keep you from feeling unfulfilled, things that get you by week to week, it isnt necessarily easy, but the busier you are the less you will feel "bored".

Get out there and enjoy your life no matter if there is someone with you or not, when you are happy with what you are doing in life more amazing things will come.

good luck

Answer 4

Could it be that you are simply repeating the same types of experiences over and over?

If you're in the US, we tend to focus on hedonistic ways of enjoying ourselves. Why not try offering your services to teach adults how to read at your local library? Or become a big brother/sister to a disadvantaged youth and spend time helping him or her grow up? Personal reaching out works best because anyone can write a check to a charity.

There's only so much partying that can be fun. To get the most out of life, you have to begin giving at some point, or everything seems fruitless.

Answer 5

Your screen-name seems to say it all. Sad.

Two thoughts come to my mind... first, maybe you are expecting too much. Like when kids expect Christmas to be so fun and so perfect and so wonderful, and then they get disappointed when it doesn't live up to their expectations.

Second... maybe you are just growing up. You don't say how old you are... but maybe you're starting to kind of grieve losing your "childhood", and realizing your mortality; or maybe your're having mid-life crisis.

Perhaps you need to find something to put zest back into your life... a new hobby, a new relationship... or giving of yourself by volunteering somewhere to help others.

Just some thoughts... hope you start feeling better.

Answer 6

wow...I also try, I guess it is aging, but there are so many things I love doing not ready to be older
I go to plays,I go camping,I force myself not to die, I pick berries,I turn on the music and dance, I grab all the kisses I can from my grand kids, I spray them with the hose I pretend to be hurt when then hose me....laugh alot ...work on the friends you have,don't let them vanish

Answer 7

ITS NOT THAT YOU ARE FEELING LOW BUT RATHER YOU ARE FEELING THAT THERE IS NOTHING TO LIVE FOR, VERY TYPICAL WAY BECAUSE MAYBE ALL THIS TIME YOUR LIFE IS TO DO WHAT IS GOOD FOR OTHERS . WHY NOT GO OUT THERE AND LIVE YOUR LIFE AND NOT OTHERS LIVES AND LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST THAT YOU CAN MAKE IT. STOP MOPING AROUND BECAUSE THERE IS STILL A LOT TO BE DONE FOR YOURSELF .... THIS IS A CHALLENGE AND YOU SHOULD GET UP AND GO, STAND UP AND LIVE YOU LIFE FULLY AND HAPPILY LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW.... YOU GOT NOTHING TO LOSE EXCEPT THE FEELINGS THAT YOU ARE FEELING RIGHT NOW, WHICH YOU DON'T LIKE ANYWAY!!! GO! go ! go!

Answer 8

For myself, when I get that feeling that I'm "losing something", but can't put my finger on it, usually I am actually experiencing a change in "who I am" so to speak... that is, my subconscious knows that some part of my life is no longer working, and it is trying to let go of it, even though I may not consciously know what isn't working, especially if I'm not being honest with myself. Being "disloyal" to the self causes "angst", because we are not living our "purpose", we are not participating in activities that make our talents shine. Be True To Thyne Own Self... in the process of getting back to that core, there may be "things" that "melt away" from your life, your soul will "let go" of all those extraneous things that no longer work for who you truly are. But after you realign with your "purpose", with doing what makes your blood sing, you won't have to go through such intense angst, because your soul, and your heart, will be not just "happy", but *content*. There will still be "growing pains", but they won't be so graphic, unless you get complacent and forget what "path" you're on again...

Be willing to open up to "new experience". Be willing to be honest with yourself about what you already know your life would be like if you had no "blocks" (internal OR external excuses we use to avoid doing the work of self-regulation and growth). Be willing to be True to Thyne Own Self... and be willing to let go of "fear". This brings back the "fire in the belly", that spark that makes you want to get up in the morning and keep going, that makes you say, "I can't WAIT to get out there and do things!". Let go of what is not yours to be responsible for (after all, we are only responsible for keeping our side of the street clean), and welcome with open arms healthy attitude changes... learn to "act on" rather than "react to" events in your life, and you'll find your attitude will effortlessly adjust for healthier mental clarity. That is, even the most mundane tasks such as washing the dishes will become excrutiatingly enjoyable when you are "acting on" *doing* (i.e., active participation, making the choice to do) the activity rather than "reacting to" "having to" (and feeling like you have no choice to) wash dishes.

But most of all, one must commit to these changes in their lives, and be willing to stay with it for the long haul... to change "for the moment" will only put a bandaid on the angst... and if you truly want to heal, you must peel the layers first (go through the sloughing-off process of letting go of extraneous junk) and then rebuild the foundation (be open, self-honest, and true to yourself, and find that life you know you would live most authentically in.)

The biggest secret of all is that all the effort we "put out there" is not about getting others to care. It's about learning to like, and love, ourselves again.

Good luck to you!

Answer 9

forget about the other people. just go out on your own.

Answer 10

i listen to songs(sad ones) and after sometime i'll get over it