I feel like i dont totally know who i am.. Im kinda all over the place... I need to be more confident in who i am. What can i do to better find myself and behave the way i would like myself to be seen... ?
2007-07-01 17:41:13 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Your thinking is backwards if you are worried about how you will be "seen". Worry less about how others see you and spend your time focusing on what's important to you. Get out a pad and paper and start scribbling notes. Think about issues in life and where you stand on them. What's important to you? What are your goals? What are your moral values? If you are all over the place, figure out how to narrow things down so you are able to define yourself better. Finding your purpose and direction in life takes time and experience. Read books about people that inspire you. Find out what inspired them. Talk to people. As you communicate, your confidence will improve. You are who you are. Define what that is and then set about changing the things that you're not happy with. Don't lie to yourself. Many people do. If there is something you don't like about yourself, admit it, own it and then make the changes necessary to improve. Good luck :)
2007-07-01 17:59:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This requires adhering to a neat trick called 'living in this moment' that you can practice.
For example, when something upsetting happens, it is natural to want to distance yourself, to lessen the pain. If instead you embrace the event and fully feel everything that is happening, you will learn a lot about yourself and what you truly think and feel.
For example, someone left a one-week old baby on my back patio once, and my then-husband wouldn't let me keep him. I wanted to adopt the little boy so that our daughter (age 3 at the time) could have a younger brother, and besides, it was so romantic and he was so cute.
I thought I was okay with his rejection of the little fellow, and we turned him over to the authorities, but deep down the disappointment of that lost opportunity stayed with me throughout the rest of our marriage. There wasn't anything he could do right after that, now that I look back.
So I learned. I'm not completely flexible. Some things are just not negotiable for me, and I have to display the courage to take a stand when one of those things comes up.
2007-07-01 17:57:44 · answer #2 · answered by nora22000 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may be trapped because you have super high standards deep down and you're worried you'll never achieve them. Start out by completing some smaller goals such as taking 1-2 classes that interest you, volunteering, community service, part-time on the weekends, etc. Anything little that will in the meantime build up your self-esteem so that you feel you are making a small difference in your life and the lives of others. Generally when you are in a mood like this, it is a mood and nothing else, you need to work on getting out of the mood and away from this perception of yourself more than you need to work on even accomplishing anything--though I truly think accomplishments are a surefire way to encourage self esteem. Also, keep in mind we are in a society where media, etc. tells us constantly that we will be happier if we change who we are and ask yourself if this is at all influencing you. True, the media will always be there, but it is up to you to decide whether or not it's personally worth it for you to change yourself to meet the standards of something outside of you. If you have media standards for yourself and want to pursue them, that's okay, too, just know it's your decision. Being happy with who you are in the now is generally helpful in pursuing any goals you may have for yourself. But if you feel you need to change, take one small step doing something that might be difficult for you, such as a science class or a dance class, etc., and regardless of success, at least you will be someone who isn't afraid to try. You may gain self-esteem from having at least tried even if you fail! Then maybe you can go back to the things you think you have a natural aptitude for, such as teaching summer camp (or maybe it is dance or science...) and you will feel more secure for having made the decision to pursue one field. The more you aren't afraid to try new things, the more you will learn who you really are. Most of us are average joes with a few not so remarkable talents, but if you believe you're remarkable, even if you're not, people will be happier spending time with you, and you'll be happier being you. :)
2007-07-01 18:06:01 · answer #3 · answered by AngelCake49 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
STOP LOOKING FOR WHO YOU ARE AND START CREATING WHO YOU ARE.You said it in your own question,"behave the way that you would like to be seen".People should create the person they want to be.Great people are not great by accident.People think they can just sit there and expect something good to jump out of them.We waste a lot of time looking for ourselves when we should be busy making ourselves.You should decide what kind of person you want to be and THAN BE IT.If you think about it it is real simple,its not complicated at all.I ain't trying to sound all smart and sh*t because I think every one knows this,we just get caught up in all the bull and forget that most of the time the answer to our problems are simple.
2007-07-01 21:56:04 · answer #4 · answered by SayWhatchaLike 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Totally surrender your ego. Much of what we do is false and a method of controlling impression management. Figure out what makes you feel totally alive...and pursue that more and more in your daily life regardless of what others might think.
In other words...be find your authentic self and love who you find.
2007-07-01 17:59:17 · answer #5 · answered by bigbyone 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do not. This is one of the prime mysteries of the universe. Language and meaning are in constant fluctuation, and you use language and meaning to decide who you are. You are constant fluctuation...you are changing circumstances. You want to be something permanent? Well, the only real permanent thing in our human universe is death. Take life, with all of its questions, while you have it!
2007-07-01 18:01:32 · answer #6 · answered by haywoodwhy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
start by asking yourself what you want,goals dreams,what you love what give you peace of mind.and you don;t give your age but grow up don;t care about how others see you and start thinking about how you see others. that's the first step you 'll need to to find yourself and be a person you can be proud of.
2007-07-01 18:00:25 · answer #7 · answered by onesickchick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well u should calm down and stop worrying so much.We all go through this at some point in our life.It will pass.
2007-07-01 20:27:55 · answer #8 · answered by n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Therapy works wonders. It has helped me through soooo much.
2007-07-01 17:46:05 · answer #9 · answered by Jellicle Cat 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well then look at a mirror. whos there? youll find out real quickly who it is.
2007-07-01 18:32:46 · answer #10 · answered by bullet b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋