WE have known them for years, they are our best friends. We are going to Vegas and sharing the same room. What kind of things should we prepair for? Or what should we expect. I don't know if I'm ready for this?
2007-07-01 17:32:53 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let your wife and your friends know that you are nervous and might back out at any moment, and if you want to back out, do it. I think sometimes just knowing that everyone will be ok with you if you change you mind could ease your fears a little bit.
If you are truly not into it, don't do it. But if you are into it and just nervous, try to relax. You're friends have been doing this for a while and know the etiquette of it all and can probably help relax you and make it more enjoyable.
It would be like any other "date" type experience. People start out nervous, but if you go with the flow, it can lots of fun.
Make sure that you make an agreement with your wife it you have not already, that no matter what happens, if one person wants to stop it's over, and although you can be honest with each others about your feelings afterward, you will try to refrain from any anger or jealousy, and if need be, be ready to forgive.
Good luck and remember that if you get uncomfortable, it's always ok to stop, everyone will understand.
2007-07-01 17:53:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anne 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What a strange presentation leading up to your question. I hear you saying that you are OK with sharing a room with swingers, you don't indicate that you even know them all that well, eventually this has been discussed in detail with your wife because your wife finds the man attractive. I hear you are disappointed int the appearance of the other wife, otherwise swinging with her would be OK. Sounds like you are not concern with your wife having sex with the other man as long as you don't have to watch. Finally the answer to the question "What I think will happen?" I believe that being drunk the other woman will look better, and everyone will have sex. Afterward, you and your wife or just one of you may regret this event and find the sex not all that great. If you are uncomfortable with it, be a mature man and say you can not go along with it. Get separate rooms, and don't dine or drink with the other couple. This lifestyle choice, is just that a choice, just remember choices come with a price and are you willing to pay the price. Often fantasies should remain fantasies.
2016-05-21 00:22:16 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the first thing you need to do is talk to your wife and see how she feels. both of you need to be totally honest about how you 2 feel about if things get a little interesting. after the 2 of you decide how far things can go, then have an honest open discussion with your friends on what things are ok, what are not, and how far your willing to go and theres always the option of just saying ok....this is too far and stopping anything that happens. most people who swing will respect your limits and even if your limits are just some innocent flirting respect your boundaries. be safe....but most of all your in Vegas, have FUN!!!
2007-07-01 17:57:33 · answer #3 · answered by Hippie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here is my experience in this situation and I hope you can put yourself in my shoes and understand where you fit in this picture.
My husband and I were thinking about it for a while. The first step into getting into the swinger lifestyle is to understand that the both of you in this marriage are only looking for other means of "pleasure" without looking for another persoon to satisfy your needs. This leads to jealousy and possibly separation. It's always good to talk with your spouse and honestly admit what your "motives" are into wanting to jump into this lifestyle. Remember it's a lifestyle not a replacement for the other person.
Second, we prepared for the night we were to meet our other couple. We discussed what kind of things we both were and were not comfortable with. With my husband and I, I explained to him what I was comfortable with and what he would help me do in case someone tried to push an issue. If you are both in agreement and understand what you are ready for then you both know how far to go.
Don't be scared. It's true to go with the flow and always understand that the cardinal rule is that no means no. If you all eventually plan to role play, make sure to have code words for when things go to far or when you want to stop. As silly as it sounds, no means no! Always remember that and you'll have a great time. Some, actually most, swingers will always have this rule in mind and always be cautious and patient with first-timers. Our first time experience was great because they understand you are scared and unsure.
Hope it helps!!
2007-07-01 17:57:31 · answer #4 · answered by ediabullo 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well let your best friends no if you get uncomfortable in anyway. also tell your wife the same both of you have to feel comfortable and only do what you feel like doing and let her know she can come to you at anytime during the weekend if she feels awkward and you too. also try havng some wine to loosen up. and im sure your best friends will take there time as they know its your first , and you may even want to talk out what your fears are or questions . they will most likely be understanding as they too want everyone comfortable. and first times can always be a bit shaky.
2007-07-01 20:47:04 · answer #5 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is the best policy.
Might just wanna go with the flow, and see what happens. Don;t have expectations. this leads to jealiously.
be respectful. ask how your wife feels? See if there really is alterior motives. or just o hang out as friends. just because they swing does not mean they want to ruin friendship over their personal choice.
2007-07-01 17:36:45 · answer #6 · answered by Sully 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you just sharing a room or will you be engaging in acts with them?
If you will be doing stuff then - Try buying a game at a novelty store. A sexy game to kinda get ya in the mood and loosen everyone up.
2007-07-01 17:36:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you and your wife have probably talked about his for a long time, you've fantasized about it and all in all it probably seems tempting...but trust me it is so much better to keep it as just that, a fantasy. if you have a good marriage and do not want to damage it don't do this, you will regret it! you are already having doubts; listen to your heart. it will change your relationship forever. however if you are not in love with your wife anymore then i guess you don't have much to lose. best of luck.
2007-07-01 18:10:55 · answer #8 · answered by Hermit 4 Hire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would you and your wife do this it will end up in divorce and you are asking a question like this . ever hear of. std.s aids. this is a real world not.t.v. pal you are in for a lot of problems in this swinger.s thing wait and see. my opion?
2007-07-01 17:45:35 · answer #9 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Marriage means there are NO OTHERS. If you are not ready then don't do it.
2007-07-01 20:48:41 · answer #10 · answered by Opr13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋