2007-07-01 17:03:36 · 15 answers · asked by LUCKY3 6 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
LISA: If you’re concerned for your child and would want to know if a similar person moved into your town...than you shouldn’t write this letter just because your girlfriend asked you. However, you lied to her and said you wrote it. I recently realized that I lie too, to keep the peace...which benefits no one in the end.
A lie is a very heavy burden, for whatever reason told. If the subject comes up again...you may need to lie more. If the boyfriend gets off...and your friend takes you out to dinner to thank you for your support...than what?
More so, if your friend is in denial, your ‘support’ only reinforces her belief that it is not so bad. On the other hand, you refusal to cooperate facilitates her to see the truth--and especially if you continue to be a good friend and support her in other ways.
Much easier said than done...when a lie can elevate the pressure. But I don’t like to lie, as I’m sure you don’t either, so when we do...we aren’t being true to ourselves. :-)
2007-07-07 04:41:04 · update #1
Swear no oath that binds thee to a fate
beyond kith and kin
least ye find yourself
adrift in dark and troubled waters
bereft of companion or friend.
Do not accept any burden
that ye would not discharge without gall.
To do so, causes others to unduly bear
an added portion of the task,
to the detriment of all.
2007-07-01 17:17:54 · answer #1 · answered by Sophist 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I actually just went through this with a friend. Here is the story. Regina's on and off boyfriend of 10 yrs got arrested and ultimatly sentenced 1 yr for taking pictures (some include faces and some don't) of womens breasts. He had over 400 pictures like this in his apartment. What he didn't know is that a group (5) of girls that he had taken pictures of were minors and he got caught. After he got to jail my friend asked me and everyone of her friends to write a letter to the DA and parole board stating that we welcome him in our homes and trust him around our children. Basically anything to get this guy to not have to be registered as a sex offender. She says that he made a mistake and he has grown up (he is 32) and learned his lesson.
I refused, I explained to her that I have a 16 yr old daughter and if someone like him moved to my town that I want the police to knock on my door with his picture and details of his crime. I want every opportunity to protect my children from people like that. She couldn't understand she just kept saying can't you do this for me.
Well I couldn't and I actually lied and said I did but I didn't. If I had and he doesn't have to register and his crimes get worse after he gets out I would never be able to forgive myself.
Regina doesn't have the strength to run from this man but she doesn't have the right to jeapordize women of any age to this man either.
I was faithful to me and if she ever finds out that I didn't write the letter she will think that I was unfaithful to her, but I really wasn't.
Do you think I did the right thing?
2007-07-02 00:19:34 · answer #2 · answered by New England Babe 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not necessarily, but if it actually comes down to that kind of choice the only possible answer is.....yes. Remember the adage, "To thine own self be true." And always remember that your's is the conscience you must live with for the rest of your days. If you are not true to yourself, you will carry the regret of it with you forever. Now, ask yourself: Is it worth the choice? Can you live with the answer? If YOU don't live up to your ideals, standards, and sense of ethics, who will? If it means that you must break a confidence in order to be true to yourself and to what you believe, then by all means do so -- and never look back.
2007-07-02 00:28:18 · answer #3 · answered by Marduk 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is awesome to see a question which helps us take a deeper look at ourselves.
I hope to not offend if I say two key words for me are "truely" and "faithful".
When I am "Truely faithful" to myself, I already am "Truely faithful" to others.
I am not always like this. I get stress or other human trials, and am not always truely faithful to self.
I believe in the holographicness of life. Not that something happens for a reason, rather: All things Happen for Multitudes of reasons.
I believe that when I am truely faithful to me I already am truely faithful to those I come into contact with.
I've worked in human services since 1976. I've owned my own facility since 1993. helping others know themselves and then teaching them to be faithful to themselves is true healing. When I work to help my staff know and be truely faithful to themselves my clients just naturally learn to know themselves and be truely faithful to themselves. The trials of life become opportunities and everyone continues to grow and become greater selves.
Truely knowing oneself is key to being faithful to self. As human beings, as we live and grow, we change, and the self that we are changes and grows.
I greatly appreciate your reminding me to stay in touch and in tune with me and be open to life and it's opportunities,
I read the other answers and appreciated many of them.
I admire you and many of the people who answer your questions. I give many of them thumbs up
thanks
2007-07-05 01:31:25 · answer #4 · answered by Janey M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, (good question). It is said by Shakesphere, "to thyne own self be true." And what he means by that is...
If you don't love your self first, take care of your self first, well ultimately if you BETRAY YOUR SELF in order NOT to BETRAY ANOTHER it's betrayal of the HIGHEST...because you cannot give away what you do not have. which means...if you don't have love for your SELF, how can you possibly love another?
2007-07-03 00:46:34 · answer #5 · answered by BabyGirl~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it is necessary. Otherwise you become a tool for others to use at will. You must keep "you" intact in order to be of service to others.
Jim DeSantis
2007-07-02 00:15:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definitely, if you are completely honest with others they will hate you, unless they are honest with themselves. Human nature 101: the path of least resistance.
Great Question.
2007-07-06 19:28:36 · answer #7 · answered by CaliWilli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think so. for many people, there is a certain sense of fear, of rejection and abandonment. I believe, this leads them to compromising being faithful to their "real selves" just so they can be accepted in society. It is a difficult balance to achieve though. just look around you to gauge how many unhappy and dissatisfied people there are today!
2007-07-02 00:12:28 · answer #8 · answered by Me 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like the old adage says " To thine ownself be true." everyone else is expendable. If they cannot handle your truth they need to leave.
2007-07-03 00:42:35 · answer #9 · answered by arborsurgeon 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's sort of in my own definition of "love". "To care for the esteem of others, over, but, not at the expence of your own! I think to destroy my own esteem, would eventually trickle down to everyone I truely loved!
2007-07-02 16:39:17 · answer #10 · answered by delux_version 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋