What do you do when you feel like there your life has no purpose?

Question

I seriously don't know what to do with myself anymore. It gets worst everyday. I'm so tired of my life. I'm tired of crying every night. I've been doing it for too long. I feel like I'm not worth anything at all. I'm not close with my family. they are like strangers to me. I don't feel comfortable getting close with others because I don't trust them. I always feel so alone and I have a hard time interacting with others. I'm not even like a normal quiet person because at least they have personality when they do talk but me on the other hand I'm just plain weird. I don't fit in anymore and for those who seem to like me I cannot understand why. I feel so unworthy in the eyes of others. I've tried counseling and it doesn't work. I've tried talking with others but it just gets worst everyday. Some days I'm able to go through it and other days I just go down the drain. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like they only way that the pain would end is if I kill myself.

and I want to do it so badly. i have a hard time connecting with others and I just feel like an outcast in the world. I'm about to be a junior in college and I just feel so helpless and believe me I am trying everyday. The only reason why I keep writing how I feel online is because it actually helps me to stay alive and to not actually give in in killing myself because I just want to end this pain. I hate myself so bad. I don't know why I am the way I am. I'm so stupid and I have to pretend that everything is ok so I can appear normal. I'm just fed up

Answer 1

I felt this way a lot when I was younger - I went through a very tough relationship and just lost all my self esteem. I felt so damaged by all the emotional abuse - I didn't know how to get back to feeling good. I did counseling too and it seemed I was going round and round and not solving anything.

What you are experiencing is biological - you are stressed and your stress is making you stressed - your body might not be making the serotonin you need - you sound very depressed. This disrupts your brain function and causes the crying and worthless feeling symptoms you are experiencing

I got on anti-depressants - even though I didn't want to - I didn't want to be considered as crazy - but its not about that - the stress I went through shut down my brain because it just didn't make sense to have those things happen. The anti depressants - they saved my life and my sanity, and I was able to finish my education, find a decent job and find a happy relationship. I rarely ever get upset with my boyfriend like I did with others when I was depressed and we are great lovers and great friends. He doesn't even care about me taking the meds. But he would care about me being depressed and upset.

I did more counseling once I felt better and was able to overcome my negative thinking caused by my depression and figure out what I really wanted to do with my life - what would give me emotional satisfaction.

Then I had the energy and positive outlook to do something different with my life - I was able to find a bliss because I didn't feel like crap every day.

I always thought I was an overly sensitive and emotional person. I love the anti-depressants because nowadays I am one of the happiest and most calm people I know.

If you don't have insurance - find a clinic with a sliding scale. You can buy prozac without a prescription for less than $15 a month.

good luck - let me know how you are feeling - Please take care of yourself sweetie!!!

Answer 2

E-mail me if you are inclined to. I know more about what you are talking about than a lot of people. Here's the short version. You were wrong when you thought the military was your purpose in life. You were wrong because that's not what the military is. You were wrong because you were too young to know better. You were wrong because here you are. Civilian and still alive. What were you going to be if you stayed for life and retired after 20 ? What do you do now ? Who can answer that without talking to you, or knowing you better than 1 questions length ? You write a book about what you know and how you came to know it. You become a counselor for other young people seeking to make the military a life. Its a JOB, a good job, with a lifestyle associated with it, but it's not a life. You go to the VFW and decompress with brothers,but don't become a bar fly ! You are small in a big world. So am I and everybody else you ever heard of. This is it. This IS life, not the drill, not the rehearsal, life, the one and only you get. Don't you dare spend it thinking its over and waste what you have left because it took a turn you didn't plan on. You know how to eat a sh*t sandwich. One bite at a time. You learned that one way back in basic. It's still true. Ok, I'll cry with you this one time for your lost youthful dreams and the pain you went through. That's only fair. OK,That's it. Now we start rehab.

Answer 3

I hope you see this soon. Just hang on for now.
That's all I need you to do - just breathe and don't do anything. Do something that helps put your brain waves to a relaxed stage. Beta waves is what it's called but who cares - the important thing is that you relax and stop thinking in such hurtful ways about yourself. I'm there sometimes, too.

Yeah, I face pretty rough depression, and sometimes the only thoughts that make sense are the ones that tell me to find a way out of this life. They make me really sad - I know I shouldn't feel that way, but what if I'm doing the best I can? I still have to fight those thoughts every day. I love other people, I love to help other people. I have a lot of compassion and love for other people - why can't I feel that way for myself all the time? Why am I the only one who doesn't deserve love? I worry that, but I believe it will come in time. I hope.

Go look at yourself in the mirror until you can have a talk with yourself - don't say anything at all negative to that amazing person in the mirror. I lean in really close and tell myself right to my face - just inches away - that I'm going to be okay. I tell myself all of the things I admire about myself, and encourage myself about things I need to do and steps I need to take to become the guy I want to be - uh, need to be.

I've come so far since the accident. I would take giant steps forward and then fall back to the start. I would start from another angle and try - try my best - but always find myself back at zero. (To explain, I was in a serious accident. After a coma, I had to learn everything again, start over and lost all of the people who meant anything to me. To this day, not one friend I make stays for very long. Big deal - that's life, but I want so badly for something to last in my life).
I went from job to job, school to school, girlfriend to girlfriend, and if I listened to all the times voices told me I was a failure, I would have quit a long time ago. I don't believe it. I know life is good, and can be good for me.

Suicidal thoughts come sometimes. Don't entertain those thoughts. Those are destruction, and will never ever help anybody. Life is amazing, and so are you, don't even think that it isn't. Life will be great to you if you can stick it out.

If I was close enough I'd give you a hug and we would hang out for a little while. Life goes on and you will, too.

Answer 4

You are worth living or you wouldnt be in here asking for advise. You are intelligent but you need to enteract with someone you can talk to. Ask yourself what made you come to this point in your life? Try and make yourself become more social with your peers in school .. You need to have a friend you can talk about your pressures. Take a hot bath and reflect. . make notes and try to figure out what is causing you to feel this way. We cant here on q's and A's answer and solve everything you are feeling but know we are backing you up and dont do anything rash. Look within yourself. Prayers are with you. Depression is a horrible thing.

Answer 5

OK , First of all... EVERYBODY IS WEIRD ,just most ppl don't want to admit it.
Secondly, You are OBVIOUSLY not stupid. Have you looked at some of the wording that is used on the internet? a lot of it could go under the "Stupid Category' , and none of it looks like Yours does. NTM you're in College and able to stick it out and pass grades ,EVENTHO you're suffering thru this Depression. That alone tells me You are Smart.
Stop selling yourself Short. You're having enough trouble with your self esteem,already,without adding in the " I'm Stupid" card.

If you want to .. you can be Ignorant.. Ignorant of how to Fix the way you're feeling,yes. Ingorant of Where to turn to for help, maybe . But you really can't call yourself stupid , Not, and make ME believe it, anyway..

You can Email Me if you want to . I'm prolly not gonna be much help, and I'm Weird, too, but I'm here just about everyday :/ ,So at least I'm some kind of Company .
We all need our Sounding Boards. Keep On Writing in. Writing is Theraputic. It's Reaching out to ppl,as much as you are able to , right now.
It found Me. andNow, i know i ain' much , but i'm something.

Hang In There. You're still looking for Answers , So You Still Have A Chance. I know, because I need to go looking for my own Answers ,sometimes, to pull myself out of my ,sometimes, dismal Abyss.

i Wish You Peace,
~Laurie

PS .. here's a little pickMeUp. What Charity do you like? Even if You don't have funds (Money Sux,not having it sux more...) you can still promote your Charity thru Word of Mouth, online.
doing something that makes you feel like you have worth and are helping (Touching) another person ,connects you to others. And isn't that what we feel ,sometimes? Just... disconnected?

idk.. it seems to help me a little . I figured I'd run it by you. : )

Answer 6

Keep writing maybe thats your calling..also pick up a guitar and learn to play it . you don't need the adoration of others when you have self satisfaction of accomplishment

self pity will get you nowhere because noone can help you so they wont try

ACCOMPLISHMENTS REALLY HELP .You will get a bigger blast from something you never knew you could do, than you can with any drug.

I have used cocaine.

believe me this is better!

go online and start conversations in chat and try to find people with your "Weird interests"

You will probably find they arent as weird as you think. can also use the internet to meet people . just be sensible and talk on the phone and exchange and verify information first. and meet in well lit public places. there is something and someone for everyone.

Answer 7

get some music that really means something to you, then get in your car and drive out into the country at night, somewhere away from the lights of the city, and just look up into the sky, see all the stars, think of the stars as the bad things in your life, they're stick out in your mind and they seem to be an infinite number of them everywhere, but then think of space as being the good in your life, you dont think about it, but bad things tend to stick out in your mind more, and although there are some bad parts in life, the good is always there, it might be hiding, it might be hard to find, but it's always there, and remember, never give up, a wise friend once told me, you can't fail if you don't give up, always have hope, even when pandora opened that box and unleashed all the evils into the world, hope was in that box, always keep it, use it as your strength, things will get better, you just have to hope and have a little faith in yourself

Answer 8

When I review my life and the bad times - I realize that the bad times, when I felt stuck or was unhappy in general - those times really help shape my character and made me a strong person. So if I were you I would first of all, seek medical help for depression. Then I would hang on until the doctors can help you and one day you will realize you are stronger than you ever realized.

Answer 9

Counseling along with medication is the best course of action. Don't be closed to more counseling just because it didn't work at one point. Maybe you just weren't ready and nothing really hit home with you at that point in time.Sometimes you have to seek out a professional that you click with for it to work. They are just people, like you and me, and not all of them will be able to get through to you. Open your heart to information you receive from the professionals and try it, it just might work. It's important not to give up but to go forward, as you are doing in school. You deserve lots of kuddos for struggling through it, so don't give up now. The answer could be just around the corner. Look around every corner and in every corner for the answers you seek, they will come with patience and perseverance. I'm in my 50's and believe me, life is worth the struggle we sometimes go through. Heart felt best wishes to you, sweetie.

Answer 10

i experienced that whenever i think of what i want after i get out of jc. somehow Life may seems bleak but then i got reminded that dreams are for us to create and fulfill. like photo albums that we often see flashing past on tv to show how the characters have lived life to their fullest, those photos are there cause the people took them and mould that experience into something tangible.

Sit down and mediate on your issue before blindly looking for solutions, maybe you will find them closer than you think. Killing yourself does end the pain, but along with ALL the happiness and joy that you can ever dream or imagine of. The world's our pearl and we should enjoy it instead of thinking suicidal thoughts!

Just get out of your house and hang along with your friends. Enjoy exercise and the sun, they promote the sense of wellbeing and after all those activities, you might feel better than ever =)