Does this poem sound complete to you, or is it missing something, maybe a better closure?

Question

Why buy another fifty thousand dollar car?
Why blow all your money getting drunk at a bar?

Don't you know there are people dying out in the streets?
People who don't even have simple socks on their feet.

There are people trying to survive on the highway
Other's trying to survive just to live one more day.

Each one of us can help in his or her own way
Whether its making them a lunch or just making their day

But another thing to do is to raise the awareness of the youth today
Let's not let them fall to what they thought was a game

Before you use that syringe you better think twice
Because all drugs can really mess up your whole life

There is no such thing as a "I'll only try it"
You'll be hooked for life, I must admit

You won't be able to achieve your life's dream
With all the drugs flowing through your bloodstream

Answer 1

The truth that you find in most writing is that the end of the poem needs to be set up from the beginning. There is an implicit promise that you are making your reader in the intro of your poem that you need to fulfil. If it sounds incomplete to you it's because you haven't met that implicit promise.

That doesn't mean that you do a trite wrap-up. It also doesn't mean that you just repeat the opening line in someway. The trick is you need to really analyze what the thought you want to leave everyone with is, and then you have to write toward that purpose. I can't give you the lines becuase while it's easy to correct word choices for someone, it is extremely difficult to guess their full intent for the poem.

I do promise you though if you sit down with this, and think of your build up for awhile something will sugest itself to you that is satisfying. Every writer gets to this point. I've had great poems without a satisying end--which makes them incomplete and not-so-great. You have to wait for it. Maybe listen to some music ready to write the words down, but not stressing out--the words will come eventually.

Good Luck.

Answer 2

Very nice message. I don't think its missing an ending, just changing the subject made the poem sound a little awkward. I suggest picking between the two subjects and sticking to one, then make a new poem for the other. Good luck!

Answer 3

Somehow, return to the original questions as a reminder or with a solution. Yes, you do need closure!

Answer 4

So do what's right, tell the truth out loud
Life the kind of life that will make you feel proud

Answer 5

remember life is short, so look around to find
drugs are not the only thing to enhance your mind



its good though

Answer 6

I like it. You get an A+