How can I keep from doing great violence to him? The dirty rat came to my house and tried to save me while this was going on.I feel so hurt and betrayed.I feel like packing up and runing away is that normal?
2007-07-01 13:45:53 · 28 answers · asked by sawdust552001 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, it's normal. Do you still love her? Are you, and she, both willing to work it out? Then see a counselor, both alone and together...preferably not a preacher.
2007-07-01 13:49:41 · answer #1 · answered by justme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would be pretty much a normal thing. You need to sit down somewhere by yourself and think about how much you love your wife and if you can forgive her or not. If the love and caring are there and you can forgive her for what happened, you are a better person than her preacher, no doubt. Always remember one thing, it takes two for something like to happen. Ask her what was going through her mind when all this was happening and see if you can live with her answer.
2007-07-01 20:53:25 · answer #2 · answered by psycho magnet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ater 20 years of marriage sweetheart, I can understand how hurt you must be.The preacher needs some serious help himself and he needsto save himself before he even considers saving ANYONE else!!!!!! That is one of the 10 commandments, if he read his bible correctly he would know that!!!! Leave her and move on with your life!!!!! After 20 yrs and her to do this now, there is no reason to stay, unless however you can find it in your heart to forgive her, but i have always been a firm believer of " In order to forgive , you must first forget". And that is something that i would never be able to forget. And also remember too an old saying once a cheater alwys a cheater!! Good luck to you in whatever you decide to do and may OUR god be with your right now at your time of need. Not your preachers god, because obviously he is not the same one i believe in........God Bless YOU!!!
2007-07-01 20:57:16 · answer #3 · answered by littleEfan25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk about underhanded. Using the guise of religion to get some married women. You may want to question why she is having sex with her preacher? How is your relationship with her? Its possible that she is just a ***** but sometimes there are reasons for her actions.
Before doing anything dramatic and ending up on the news being carted away by police discuss this with the wife in a sensible and down to earth manner. Of course its easier said then done and it may take some time to be able to do so but yeah.
2007-07-01 20:56:44 · answer #4 · answered by ChAtMaN 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello!
When things like this happen the pain runs deep.
If you think the relationship is worth salvaging and you want to give it a go.
Talk with her about it thrash it out .
It will take time to heal and get your trust back .
She will need to earn that trust.
As for the preacher he has the greater responsibility before God.
You don't need to do anything God's discipline stings .
I have been on the receiving end of it a few times and it is painful.
Jesus Christ loves you He was your substitute on the cross He knows your pain if you look at believers you may be disillusioned all still have a sin nature and make bad decisions.
We are the products of our own bad decisions!
If you put your eyes on Him who is without sin He will save you
He mends broken lives.
This was written by a man in the 1800's.
He was in a state of grief as his daughter had died.
"When peace like a river attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll.
Whatever my lot He has taught me to say "It is well.
It is well with my soul".
Take care!
2007-07-01 21:06:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it were a one time thing, then I would say work it out, talk to each other. But she continued this lie for twenty years. How long have you been married? Not only did the preacher lie to you, but he lied to your wife and to God. God will deal with him at the appropriate time. If you're willing to work things out, then you need to see a counselor who does not know either one of you. Also, pray together. Ask God to forgive your wife and to help you forgive her if that's what you want to do.
I wish you the best!
2007-07-01 20:58:02 · answer #6 · answered by sunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
File for divorce is the best thing to do. Violence is never the answer and doesnt solve anything. Just creates more violence. Leave your wife and let her go and do whatever she wants, if she loved you and respected you she wouldnt be sleeping with the preacher.
2007-07-01 21:16:12 · answer #7 · answered by Siroonig 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this is normal but before you run away run with your wife; do not let your wife be exposed to this preacher. This is your wife and not the preacher's. Ck with the church and see if they have a Church Board, Apostle or a Bishop who you can take your case to. You will be surprised that you can be compensated by the church for what the preacher did to your wife. Therefore, do not run away run to the pastor and let him know that what he did is tearing your family apart. I am on your side I can sense your pain. If you continue to love your wife I will take her out of that community and relocate.
2007-07-01 21:02:28 · answer #8 · answered by EarthRover 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
DONT DO IT. You will undoubtedly regret it. With the PREACHER.!!!!! Come on dude. Forgiving is not an option. And as far as the violence, a good ole *** whoopin is appropriate sometimes in life. Good Luck. Cut your losses and find a real woman. She obviously has no morals or respect for you.
2007-07-01 20:54:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave her and also expose the preacher to his congregation. If after 20 years of marriage she commits adultery (and with a preacher nonetheless) there is no way you could ever ever trust her again. Be the better person and forgive her, but move on with your life.
2007-07-01 21:14:54 · answer #10 · answered by Orion777 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is horrible situation. Your preacher took advantage of you and your family situation.
It is up to you to decide if you can forgive her. The preacher is a person that is in authority and he could have taken advantage of the trust that she placed in him.
Preachers are held to a higher standard and if they were truly being lead by God, that would not have happened.
Don't let this turn you against church, please. This is one MAN that was terribly wrong.
You decide if you can forgive and FORGET with your wife.
I am sorry for what your family is going through.
2007-07-01 20:52:24 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋