Why am I so emotional when people are in conflict with themselves?

Question

I am very serious about this question; and would appreciate some helpful advice.
I have never liked conflict or problems (perhaps childhood issues of constant arguments/disagreements).
When something goes bad, I cry and get discouraged.
I have not written a serious question in a long time.
Waiting for things to get better, when I want things to be better, is making me very down. I have been through alot in my life; and just want peace! I go out of my way to try to make others around me happy too; yet, when GROWN people are unreasonable, I fall apart. What can I do to help my emotional state of mind?

thank you in advance for any advice.

Answer 1

Just remember....this really messed up place we live in has to take a backseat. This is between you and God. That is the most important relationship. Second, third, fourth, etc. are your children and family. The rest is cake. If it's not working for you, then you have to move on and let it go. Pray for these people in faith and let God handle it. Throw it off your back and leave it behind. Their conflict, if not directly relating to you, is their conflict. It is not your problem. We are called to help and give advice, but if its taken and tossed aside with so much garbage, then leave it to them to handle. Your peace will come when you let go and let God!

Answer 2

I am in the same boat. I am waiting for a situation to get better but it seems like everything I do just makes it worse. It's so frustrating because no matter what you do, it feels like a loss. My personality is very much like yours. I hate conflict and I have a hard time expressing my opinion.

I don't know if there is really much that you can do about the emotional side of it but if you can see what is right and do it in spite of how you feel about it, maybe that will improve things enough that you will get the emotional boost you need. At the very least, you won't be hurting anything. Good luck.

Answer 3

If you've ever broken a bone, or cut yourself, you know that the intense pain is crucial. If you made it through the ordeal without actually dying, then you know that with all the pain you went through, thinking it was the end of the world, then you have healed. Healing is one way that we learn not to do that again. It's a second chance! We'll sometimes remember that day you got hurt, but maybe it will be forgotten, too. Emotional pain is different. If someone gets hurt emotionally, it hurts the heart, and the brain. It's that cut, or broken bone in our inner-selves. There can be a long healing process with Emotional pain, and only sometimes. Emotional pain can be carried for the rest of our lives. Everything you see, say, and do will remind you of that emotional feeling you endured to make you feel mad or sad. It can lead to depression, it can lead to suicide, but it can be controlled with medicine. Emotional pain is inflicted differently than Physical pain. Remember that Physical pain is usually on the outside, and Emotional pain is always on the inside.

Answer 4

I've learned that you just cannot control people around you. Sure, sometimes they can be manipulated, but in general, people will do what they want to do regardless of how you feel. I'd try not to worry about others more than you worry about yourself, because no matter how bad things get, you always can control you. Even if everyone around you is making a mess, you will always have yourself. I'd say look yourself in the eye in the mirror, and make a list of all your best personality traits, and just take stock of what you've got going for you. You'll be surprised at what you learn about yourself.

Answer 5

I am sorry you are having a rough time lately.

I don't think you can order up "peace" like you were ordering pancakes at Denny's and get it. Unfortunately, it can and will happen that other (grown) people's issues and problems intrude on your life, sometimes when you feel least able to let them roll off your back. Times like those are really hard. What you can cling to is your conviction that those problems and issues--the things that are causing grown people you care about to act like children, and perhaps take out their negative feelings on you--are not yours to fix. You can't even if you want to--it's not possible. People can only fix their "issues" themselves, when they are ready.

A useful skill to practice is stepping back and saying to yourself, "OK, (X) is having a bad day. I can feel bad for (X) and do my best to be kind and supportive, but I can't fix it and I'll only be creating stress for myself by trying." Then practice letting yourself off the hook for the negative stuff still floating around, if you KNOW that it's not your fault--even if (X) still thinks (or is saying to you) that it is. You can't change people. In light of that, you may as well allow yourself time and space to heal and to get beyond it.

Answer 6

Yes it does look like you have gone through alot, and sadly you probably have to go through much more, but the point is not to get discouraged and keep fighting. I had a similar problem like your when I was a kid, and I just tried my best to ignore the bad things and at nigh just pray and be hopeful that it will pass. All bad things... no matter what... will all eventually pass. You got to keep fighting. When I was a kid, I never though I make to to adulthood, but here I am.

Answer 7

I feel the same way as you do. I get upset when people argue over stupid things in life. One thing I believe we have in common is the same question why people can't except things the way they are. does it really matter who is right and who is wrong. come on people just except the outcome.

Answer 8

You need to pray for those people and be around more positive minded people. You can't take to heart everything that happens to other people all the time.

Answer 9

Oh great... now you want SERIOUS advice?
Well, I'm out...