How do you EFFECTIVELY deal with a STUBBORN ADULT? read more?

Question

I know someone that is very stubborn and set in her ways. When she gets agitated, everyone must suffer! She goes on and on; and won't let up!
How can I keep my peace-of-mind around her and try to calm the situations down without making them worse?
I need some serious advice!
and, Thank You in advance!

Answer 1

I have this problem too. Sometimes I feel like an emotional sponge because I am too empathetic. I tend to soak up all the negativity around me. Try to limit the time you spend around negative people and (although it sounds weird) picture a little shield around you with all the aggitation and stuff bouncing off and not getting to you. This little trick has helped me.
Good luck!

Answer 2

Are you a teenager talking about your mom? I sometimes wanted to scream when I was with some older female relatives. They would not listen to reason. I quess you have to set your battles....if this is constant and you live with the person you are in a bad way. If it is someone you really don't see that often you can bite your tongue and thank heaven you can leave.
Some co-workers like to feel in control at work because they are nothing at home.
Some women are having hormone changes and should be locked in a room for a few years or get meds.
What is she so stubborn about? I have big problems on Holidays and getting everyone together because I give in to whoever is loudest.
Can you possibly do anything differently to have less contact with this person? I

Answer 3

I think it would have been helpful if you'd have told us what your relationship is with this person. (are they a sister, a mom, a friend etc? )
If they're a friend, then maybe this relationshp is contaminating you, and your sense of well-being. In that case, you have two choices. If you really want to continue to have a relationship with them I suggest you have an honest heart-to-heart with them, and tell them EXACTLY how you feel. Quietly listen to their side of the story, and if they're having problems, tell them to see a therapist, etc, and just let them know you just can't handle their baggage at the time when you have so much to deal with yourself. Tell them exactly what you want from this relationship with them. If this still doesn't change their ways, then I suggest you end this relationship, or just "drift apart" so you can focus on yourself more, and perhaps later in your life, when you feel more stable, you can come back to it.
If this is a relative, then the answer is not so easy. You still need to talk to them, and let them know their behaviour is inappropriate. Insist to them to see a therapist to resolve their emotional issues. And let them know that you will not converse with them/ or talk to them if they don't calm down first. Also, when faced with a difficult situation, walk away, and if they follow, let them know that you are not willing to discuss anything until they calm down. This way you'll be able to effectively avoid any drama or conflict. Just keep your own tone calm and controlled and walk away.
I really wish you'd have specified your relationship to this person, and the type of situation, but on the information you've give, this is all I can think of.
You can always message me if you need any more advice, or if you're just feeling down, and need someone to talk to. I'm a good listener, and I have been where you are, from what I gained from your other questions. Take care, and good luck! =)

Answer 4

I understand just how unsettling it is to be forced to deal with someone like that. The answer is that you just don't reward bad behavior. This will often make it worse over the short term but after a while she'll realize that screwing with you during one of her tirades just isn't worth the price she'll have to pay. Because this woman works by not letting up, the cances are that she'll just think she isn't doing enough to get to you. That's when it gets worse. Once she sees that you won't submit, she will not want to waste her energy on you and will turn it on someone else instead.

Answer 5

Stubborn people like to be heard out- always listen, and when you do reply, remain calm and do not do or say anything inflammatory. When things get out of hand, tell this person that you will come back to the conversation when they have calmed down. Leave them alone (or if you have to be near that person, ignore him/her) and return to discussion when that person has relaxed and agreed to act in a civilized fashion.

Answer 6

First, don't get her going yourself.
Second, don't add to the diatribe, verbal tantrum, or tirade. Ignore it. After a while your brain will phase it out. I believe that the mouth is now on automatic pilot and the mind is disengaged - there is no opportunity for reasoning with the person, unless you want to shake her beliefs to their very foundations this late in the game.

Answer 7

I just let it go and let them dig their own grave. I have no time or patience for that. If you wanna act like a child, so be it.

Answer 8

Are you talking about my mother ? I love her, but after my once a week visit, I go home and drink beer!

Answer 9

Are you talking in the third person again? LOL