Mother's only Please! Should I tie my tubes?

Question

I have a 3 year old daughter and a 2year old son. Motherhood to me has been terrible not only did I lose respect. For some reason this society thinks that because you are a mother/wife you are now a slave! People are quick to judge,"Why didn't you keep your legs closed", and give you dirty looks if one of your kid cries. Hello? They are kids..You should stay home if you don't want to see any! It seems like a crime.. I'm 23 married for 5 years to a momma's boy and frankly I don't want anymore kids..The one Dr. I've seen refused to do the procedure on me and talked me out of it. But really, I don't want anymore I have a boy and a girl and a husband who seems like my third child!! Why is motherhood so difficult!! Sometimes I want another one but I think that's mothernature just trying to trick me..Motherhood has been a traumatic experience for me..Advice please, don't leave me judgemental comments...

I have to add I work full-time too.

I really want to but my family and everyone else tells me to wait. Even the Dr.

I guess the question really is, "How should I convince the Dr. to tie my tubes?"

Answer 1

If you don't want any more kids then yes I would get my tubes tied. I think every young mom gets treated that way I know I do and I'm 23 too. I have three kids 6, 4, and3. I also have a sister that is 22 that looks like she is 16 with one baby and she get sh*t on! So it's just society today. Well keep your head high girl!

Answer 2

I'm all for the vasectomy route why should you go and have surgery when all he has to do is go into the doctors office and have an outpatient procedure... I have 3 boys and am sooooo done having kids. although I have 11 years on you it was a tough decision. My husband and I have been together for 14 years and we were pretty confidant that we were done with the last pregnancy and I did have a tubal but I also had c-sections with all of my kids so I figured they could just fix it all at the same time. If it werent for the surgery already having to be done he would have been to the doctor pronto and done the deed for us. Tell your man to stand up and take a little nip and a band aid for you....good luck and if you decide to go through with the tubal more power to you, kids are hard work and if your sure you dont want anymore then let the doctor know that you will have this done by him or you will find another doctor that will.

Answer 3

In the first place, people who look at you like that, obviously have no experience with raising children. You really shouldn't pay any attention to what anyone else thinks. As long as you are doing a good job raising your children, be confident in that.

If you are positive that you don't want another child, ever, then I would talk to another doctor.

There are other ways that can help you to not worry as much about having another child. Birth control is a great method. I used the pill for a very long time, but found myself forgetting to take it.

I don't want anymore kids, but I cannot see what the future holds, so I don't want to take a major step like surgery to fix that.

Instead I got what is called an IUD. They have ones that last for 5 years with hormones and 10 years without. They are pretty effective for preventing pregnancy and you don't have to remember to take a pill or etc.

You barely even know they are there.

Once again though, just forget about other people's stares and comments. They are just unaware of what it takes to be a parent.

Answer 4

I am 22 will be 23 in August. I have 3 kids (all boys). I feel exactly the way you do. I thought that I wanted a girl eventually down the rd but I have decided not to have anymore kids and I'm going to the doctor to talk about having my tubes tied. I have been w/ the father of my kids for 5 years also. I know what its like to be a frustrated mother. I am currently going thru the terrible two's w/ my 2nd born. I think yes you should tie your tubes and just try to get your kids raised and be thankful that you made it thru 18 years. I wish you all the best.

If you want to talk more you can IM me @: captcha0695

Answer 5

You are too young to have them tied.No doctors will do it unless your life is at stake should you be pregnant again.They'll be more willing to perform the op when you're above 30.

Anyway, that's not the issue. The thing is,what happens if you should remarry ( divorce rate higher for those who marry before 20 ) and decide to have more kids? By then you may really enjoy motherhood. Reversing the op is really messy and expensive. Does not always work!

Just to let you know that tying your tubes could affect your sex life and at your age, and with the 'problems' you are now facing.... I can safely bet that you really do not need any new problems.

My advice is for you to wait until you are at least 30 then decide. You would be surprised by your decision and so glad that you took time to consider.

In the meantime, take other precautions and don't get pregnant. I understand that at your age the situation you are in now is really a tremendous weight on your young shoulders.It's really no fun to handle 2 kids when you yourself are hardly grown-up.I would hate to see any of my daughters in your shoes!

Take care, and leave those tube alone !! You would thank me in 10 year's time.

Answer 6

Wow, I'm really sorry about your feelings towards motherhood. I do however know, that it is very hard in the beginning, but gets so much better later once your kids get older and your husband matures a bit. You are very young, and you will also mature later. I didn't feel so good about motherhood either (I also had my kids at a young age),but now, I am so proud of myself for raising 2 great little girls, and feel that I will be ready for a 3rd and last one in a few years more. I'm glad I didn't tie my tubes! I had thought about it after my 2nd baby very seriusly; I was 22 then, now I'm 28 and see things so differently. Remember life has many circles, and you might regret your decision later, when life gets easier and you get wiser. Good luck!

Answer 7

I had my tubes tide at 30 and the doctor didn't want to do it,he said i was to young. He did do it and within a year i was so sorry for having it done.Just knowing you can never have another baby plays on your mind.Right now you don't want anymore which is very understandable having to very young kids at home now.Take it from someone who knows first hand what it feels like to have your tubes tide you will be sorry down the road say 5 or 10 years from now when your kids are older you might decide to have another baby. As far as affecting your sex life it does not but what it does do is make your periods much worse and makes you have blood clogs this is all from having your tubes tide. Gave yourself a couple of years before you decide on having it done.

Answer 8

I am 38, just had my first child and I have experienced some of the same (and worse) that you have experienced. I've had women tell me I'm terrible because I've had my son so late in life. (Excuse me for not being a teen mother!) I've decided that folks will never be happy, so I just do what I think is best and don't worry about the rest.

Most docs will refuse to do the procedure because of your age. Talk to ANOTHER doc about this and see if you can come up with a solution. Until then, take the pill, FAITHFULLY! Good luck and best wishes.

Answer 9

Sorry not a woman but am a man who has put his wife through two kids, not grown up and giving me grandchildren. I had myself fixed can tell you the exact time when on the table the Challenger blew up, came out told the wife she said don't worry it will still work. The choice of any more kids is yours seems like by reading it is religious people that are saying no you cannot do this. If it is done and in the future you decide to have another it is easily reversible. see another doctor. End result is it is YOUR body and if you do not want any more children that is YOUR choice no one elses.

Answer 10

Well girl I also have two girls a 6yr old and a 9yr old, and I have thought of tieing my tubes to, I also have been telling evryone the same thing about motherhood:) but you know being a mother is the best thing in the world, #/? about what ever any one say's, don't let no one push you in to having one neither when ever your ready you'll have one;) I think you should wait that decision is a hard one and your kidos are to young right know so enjoy them and don't worry about it evrything will be K:) I think you should wait a while:)