Don't Be A Stranger
Though the light shines bright
You will not enter
Why do you stand afar off
In the darkness
Is there a pain that hinders
Or is rebellion your only freedom
Does chaos reign in the intricacies
And is order just a weak realm
Will the love you seek
Be found in the dark mist
For you were issued from light
But you resist to return
If eyes do not lie
Then view mine
And find some measure
Of truth, logic and love
A shadowy step
I offer you to climb
So that your brightness
Will be brighter than mine
2007-07-01 10:43:07 · 8 answers · asked by ignoramus_the_great 7 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
I thought you displayed a talent for metaphor by using light to represent birth, familiarity, and intimacy. People are born from darkness into light, from solitude into companionship, you used that literary tool very well indeed. And while it is free form, it still has rhythm and flows well. I thought it was a very sweet invitation to get closer to you, and showed understanding of the invitee's need to distance, it almost sounded like an invitation to an older child to come back to the friendship and guidance of your parenthood, so that they could outshine you when an adult. DEEP AND FINE.
2007-07-01 11:15:41 · answer #1 · answered by Guinness 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never like anyones poetry on Yahoo answers...until now. Well done! Any more?
So where does this stranger find truth, logic, and love?
2007-07-01 20:08:00 · answer #2 · answered by Joan H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mm, wow, this is excellent! I love the concept and it is well portrayed, especially in the ending. I wonder if you wrote this for anyone in specific. If so, this is very kind. :) Even made me feel better just to read it.
I'm off to go see what your first entry was!
Keep writing!!
2007-07-01 17:47:29 · answer #3 · answered by grace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! This is a really good poem. I like the way you contrast the detail of dark and light.
2007-07-01 20:55:51 · answer #4 · answered by Tori 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Quit showing off! LOL just kidding this is also good keep going, who knows you may attract a publisher whom is interested in your work.
2007-07-01 17:54:28 · answer #5 · answered by redguy411 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really liked the build up to your ending starting with "If eyes do not lie." Very nice.
2007-07-01 18:31:45 · answer #6 · answered by Todd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go get her, man! Or she will be trapped in darkness forever!
2007-07-01 18:44:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
great poem, dude!
2007-07-01 19:50:43 · answer #8 · answered by Spek 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋