It's by choice
So why is that such a hot topic of conversation at family get togethers, Why do they feel the need to try and make me feel inadequate , I have a child and I lead a very productive and happy life, Not one of them is happily married
Are they just jealous because I have my freedom .
I'm not in any way putting down the joining of two lovers I know they're are lots of marriages that are thriving, But most just stay together for all the wrong reasons , To not be alone, Or for the kids, Financial reasons But if your miserable why waste your life away .
I just never wanted to get to the point where you take each other for granted Maybe I sound synical but it's a choice I've made and I shoulndt have to defend it right?
2007-07-01 10:26:45 · 21 answers · asked by ♥ღ♥ RaVeN ♥ღ♥ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Right. To each his or her own. God bless you for knowing your own mind and sticking by your guns.
2007-07-01 10:29:55 · answer #1 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There's no need to explain it or be defensive about it. Apologies for answering despite being male, but if you're out with a woman she's interested in you as you are - unmarried and over 30. My parents didn't get married until my mom was something like 33. I got married at 32, and didn't really consider it seriously until I was 30. I had several wonderful long-term relationships in my 20s, but I was not ready to settle down then. It's not unusual and doesn't have to be justified. From what I've read, the average age at which people get married has been steadily increasing for many years. And like whalers said above, I wish I'd waited for the right one. Around 30, I was starting to have this fear of being a pathetic 40-year-old single guy, and of not having kids soon enough. 10 years later, in the middle of a miserable marriage, I'd have loved to have been the 40 year old single guy, and there's no rule in life that you have to have kids to be happy - can't say mine have given me more happiness than grief, though I may feel differently when I don't have 3 teenagers.
2016-05-20 22:05:59 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for you girl. Don't listen to what others think. It sounds like you are very smart and leading the life that is right for you. Yes, many people are together for all the wrong reasons. Not many couples stay together forever anymore. Times are different now. Why put yourself through it. Yes, misery loves company. Come on, you already know this.
2007-07-01 10:39:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you are an adult, you don't have to explain your reasons for the things you do, or in this case, don't do. Other people, especially happily married family members just feel you may be missing out on something, just let them know that you are happy and secure in your life and if they wanted you to be happy then to leave the subject alone.
2007-07-01 10:38:20 · answer #4 · answered by foodieNY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Conversations with family members about your private life should be avoided but if that is not possible you have two choices and you seem to have taken the high road but maybe you could return a loaded question with a well thought answer. Perhaps use that persons past as a example with out mentioning their name. That lets them know to back off.
2007-07-01 10:32:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with you here. I got married when I was 30- and don't regret waiting. Family and friends would worry and comment about it, but fortunately I did what I thought was right for me.
I also agree with the idea that many people who are unhappily married want others to be as miserable as they are..."misery loves company."
I don't think you are being cynical either. You sound like a smart, emotionally healthy lady and if more women thought like this, we wouldn't have so many failed relationships and unhappy children around, IMO.
2007-07-01 10:34:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
None of my sisters ever married and the oldest is 50 and the youngest is 44. I have the good graces to never bring that up with them, especially in public. It really is none of my business.
I guess I embraced that idea- you can't live others lives- hence it is none of my business.
Old Guy
2007-07-01 10:53:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm with you. I waited until I was 32. I went through the same garbage for years and years. My family has a history of divorce, cheating...you name it. I wasn't going to make that mistake. I wanted to wait for the perfect situation or it just wasn't going to happen. Stick to your guns. Never settle!
2007-07-02 06:15:30 · answer #8 · answered by Ron B. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right, you should not have to defend your choice. People feel uncomfortable with anyone who is ' different' and that goes for races, religions, nationalities, gender preferences, etc. You are different from them so they are trying to intimidate you. I would treat their comments with incredulity and simply look back quizzically with wonder and amazement making them feel that they are out of place ( which they are)
2007-07-01 10:33:06 · answer #9 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't blame you at all .I did it twice and learned my lesson well. I did end up with some wonder full kids .I know you don't have to get married to have kids. You do what you feel is right for you.
2007-07-01 10:36:48 · answer #10 · answered by dad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right.I married for all the wrong reasons.I remember when I was a teenager I said I would never get married.
2007-07-01 10:32:23 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋