For married people: What do you feel is the most important thing in a marriage?

Question

I am getting married next month. My grandparents had a passionate loving happy marriage until one of them died. My parent have been married for over 40 years - unhappily. I was wondering what do married couple feel that is the most important advice they could give a soon-to-be newlywed for a long lasting marriage? Keep in mind, he and I are both in our 30's, and is this the first time either of us have been married. What makes your marriage successful?

Answer 1

Trust, mutual respect, good communication on all levels, being able to laugh and cry with each other and lots of good loving and sex!!! Best of luck in your marriage xx

Answer 2

I was 28 and my husband was 38 when we married. At least you have the 'maturity' thing down!
Really, the most important things are to be unselfish and willing to compromise. Men and women are just truly different - guys think differently than we do, they work out problems differently, they don't talk as much as us, they can't multitask like women -- so realizing these things and not trying to make your husband be something he's not, are really important things.
We've been married almost 18 years, and still have as much fun together talking and joking as we ever did, and the love has just grown and deepened over the years - and the lust is pretty darned great, too!
Good luck to you. Don't think of your parents' marriage as unhappy - there may just be things you remember as such.

Answer 3

First thing that is important is honesty. Without honesty this will go wrong. I have been married 8 years and I have learned this to be true. Be open with one another, don't keep secrets and of course there is unconditional love. We all make mistakes some can be forgiven while others can't, talk through them all no matter how painful and you should have a wonderful marriage. My spouse and I are in are mid to late twenties and this has worked for us.

Answer 4

in one word - communication.
Every problem my husband and I ever had came because of lack of communication. One of us assumes we know what is going on with the other person, or think we know what they meant when they said such-and-such.. but it was all a lack of communication.
What I have learned after 23 years of marriage is that my husband is not a mind-reader. We need to sit down (I insist upon it!) and talk out every misunderstanding. I tell him everything I need whether it seems silly or not.. If I need attention, I make no attempt to hide this from him.. I tell him exactly what I want/need/require and encourage him to do the same. I don't expect him to know what I am thinking anymore.
When it is too difficult to say what I want, I write him a note..
Communication is everything.
Honesty is also very important.
Not considering divorce an option has made me work harder at having the best possible marriage possible. And I have never been happier.
Best of luck!

Answer 5

Congratulations on your wedding!

I guess I'd say it's a combination of a lot of important things: trust, respect, honesty, communication, healthy love.....

Marriage is not perfect; nor is it for everyone. (Many people get married too young or for the wrong reasons; and others think things will get better once they are married..WRONG!)

Being able to talk openly and to share your thoughts and feelings is crucial to a happy marriage...The physical part is also important, because it makes you feel "connected" to your partner.
I wish you well and hope you will be very happy!

Answer 6

Conflict or anger itself does not have to cause an irreparable rift between partners. With good communication skills and a shared commitment to a marriage, even these are surmountable. How to save your marriage https://tr.im/o3hZz

However, at that point where one partner is at the brink of abandoning the relationship, how can the remaining partner save their marriage? If you are at the point where your spouse has asked for a divorce, what can you do?

You must realize first that, you do have a choice. Often, when confronted by a crisis, we find ourselves backed into a corner thinking we have no choice in the matter. How can we change the situation when it involves another person's feelings or decisions? While we cannot, must not and in no way manipulate, blackmail or threaten our partner into changing their mind, we can actually control how we react to the situation. If anything, you must realize that you still have control over yourself. You have the opportunity to look inward and take responsibility for your own feelings and actions and even have the chance to take personal inventory of what your partner is trying to tell you. Are there points in your marriage that must be changed? If so, respond appropriately and proactively.

Answer 7

We've been happily married 36 years, and I guarantee you, some of the key elements of a successful relationship - married or otherwise - are:

1) A long list of common interests; things you both enjoy doing TOGETHER as opposed to separate interests and separate groups of friends.

2) A lot of tolerance for each other's differences. As much as you share in common, you're still going to rub one another wrong from time to time. Be mature and deal with it. Separate the small $h!t from the serious stuff.

3) A sense of compromise; so that you can work out your problems with a minimum of emotional trauma. It's marital negotiation.

4) A sense of sympathy and forgiveness. You're both going to screw up on occasion. You need to be able to forgive, forget, and move on with the relationship.

Answer 8

We never stop giving to each other. We do all we can to fulfill each others every need. He helps me and I help him. We are not a couple we are one and when we work together things get done faster and we enjoy each others company so very much. We totally complete each other in every way. He is all I dreamed of and wanted and there is nothing I wouldnt do to make him happy and he is the same for me. Its not about gifts even though they are wonderful it is what you do every single day to let each other know that they are the one and only in the others life and theres no reason for doughts. You will also enjoy the effort you put into makeing this person happy and helping them make there dreams come true. Take pride in what you have and always be greatful and show it. For only you two can make this work.

Answer 9

I know you said married people, but I am divorced and I learned a valuable lesson from it...You have to be able to talk to EACHOTHER about things, not take anything too seriously and know that love, is enough, no matter how hard things get if you have a true, solid love for the good and the bad in a person, you can make it through anything. Good luck!

Answer 10

Communication is the key thing, also you have to make sure to let go of any insecurites @ the alter. Keep in mind, there will be arguements (maybe really bad one's) and you may want to give up after so many of those but keep in mind "I'll live, we're just going thru a rough patch & we can work it out" If you have trouble doing that first ask yourself "Is this really worth losing the love of my life over" It has to be something really really serious to lose him over like cheating, heavy drinking (that is associated w/ physical abuse towards you and or any children you may have, emotional or sexual abuse as well). I wish you both the best of luck, Congratulations!

Answer 11

Communication
As long as you can both share your honest feelings you should be fine
make sure you listen to him and he listens to you
Don't ever put the others feelings on the back burner or think they r foolish
You don't always have to agree.
Talk about every stupid detail before you get married, like how many kids, what religion do you hit them , where are you going to live. who is going to take care of kid. Sex how often lots of good things like that. but if the both of you go into with those ideas you should be fine