The use of Miss, Mrs., or Ms.? Why is it that we women, have to be labeled based on marital status?

Question

What is the purpose?

These three identify whether we have never been married, married, or previously married/NA. Men on the other hand, have “Mr.” It does not identify HIS marital status.

I don’t mind the last name change. I think that’s enough to link us to being married. But why do we also have to also identify ourselves as a Mrs.? The man doesn’t change a thing. He is still “Mr. Doe”, before he married and the same after he marries. “Mrs.” is an abbreviation of “Mr’s.”, ‘showing possession to Mr.’ I think it’s just as acceptable in addressing them Mr. & Ms. Doe. I think “Ms.” Is a great compromise. It comes across as equal to “Mr.”

You’re not denying that you are married (or not). We can be addressed equally without any personal connotation if we are involved with or without a spouse.

WHY do we have to labeled as such; or WHAT is the reason for having the 3 titles; OR tell me why we should or shouldn’t continue the usage of “Miss” or “Mrs.” Men: I’d be interested to know what you guys also think.

Do I come across as stewing? Nothing else to write about? I'm not on this site often. I posted this question, because as a substitute teacher, some students ask if I used to be married. I know typically it's none of anyone's business, but kids are curious when they see me write "Ms." on the board. When I tell them I am married, they tell me I should use "Mrs." So that got me thinking. I tell them I use "Ms." the same reason "Mr." Smith, uses "Mr., whether he is married or not.

Yes, I call myself "Ms" my choice. But check out some work/staff rosters that are generated with Miss, Mrs., Ms., and Mr. It's looks like a list for which woman are available and who is not. I'm just for simplicity and equality, that's all.

It's good to hear some of the answers say that there are countries that have done away with label/titles that note if a lady is unmarried or married.

I guess it's just to make it simple for men...who'll they'll approach or who they won't.

Thanks for the lesson, Nerys. A good source told me that Mrs. is derived from Mr's. But yours makes sense.

I've quite using "Mrs", when speaking of others, unless they tell me otherwise or I ask if it's okay if I refer them as "Ms". It just takes the guess work out of, "Is she? Or isn't she?"

ooops, sorry quit. Not quite.

Mr. Super Ruper, pardon me. Please don't make assumptions that I have nothing else to do but get on this site and raise a stink. I signed on Y!A in March and still on level 1. I'm not on the computer on this site often, trying to make 10,000+ pts, and get to level 6. If it takes me years to get there, that's alright. I just got on this site to see what others thought, outside of the people I actually interact with on a day to day basis.

There are some traditions I still like and others I don't.

Please remember, there are traditions that are no longer: Slavery, (U.S. 'Colored People Onlyl'); only men vote; all wives stay at home; "traditional" families; I think you get the idea...

Answer 1

First let me say that I share your sentiment. I've never cared for being called Miss, as I've always found it to be rather condescending. I don't think we HAVE to be labeled by our marital status anymore. A lot of women are now going for the Ms. alternative, as you've pointed out.

As a footnote, if you research the abbreviation "Mrs.," you'll find that it's not an abbreviation for "Mr's," as in, the woman is the man's property. It's actually an abbreviation for the word "mistress," as in "mistress of the house." Still rather sexist, as it defines women as homemakers only, but not as bad as you were thinking.

Answer 2

Habit? I was Mrs before the feminist movement( for which, for years I was a fervent advocate )thought I should define myself in another way. I never bothered to re-define myself as Ms. Now that I have as the old saying goes, 'Washed that man out of my hair", I do! But I guess that is since a life threatening incident , I see myself as an entirely different person these days.

Answer 3

The term Ms. was introduced in the early 1970s. Those of you born after that obviously don't remember the social ridicule and constant denigration that women who demanded to be referred to as Ms. initially received.

Because of these millions of anonymous women who agreed with you that their marital status was nobody's business, and because of their incredible inner strength to withstand rampant peer and familial ridicule all day long, it is now the norm to call women Ms. socially, professionally, and on government forms.

Nowadays, we rarely see the terms Mrs. and Miss used. Most of the folks who still have a need to publicly announce the marital status of a woman are 50+ years old. When they die, those sexist prefixes will hopefully also die.

It's just a matter of time when we all look back on Mrs./Miss in the same way we look back on Colored Only drinking fountains. (People really did that?!?)

Answer 4

I'm not sure where you got the rules you cite re when to use Mrs., Miss and Ms. My understanding has always been that Ms. was adopted for use by any woman in any situation specifically to eliminate the marital status connection.

That's how I've always used it, and that's the title pretty much all of my married women friends use as well. (Except those who use Dr.)

Answer 5

I don't really like the tradition of Ms. and Mrs. but what really bothers me is when a woman is called-- Mrs. John Smith
she sould at least be called by her first name like Mrs. Jane Smith. Whatever with the Ms. Mrs. thing but let a woman go by her first name i mean come on

Answer 6

It was in fact from the old days, but was not met to mean that women was lower then men. It was met to show if a women was single or married cause it was and still is the mans job to be assertive and to make the first move for dating,it is a way to show that if a women is married to back off. But hey lets do away with that and change the roll and have women be more assertive and ask us out or do you not see it for what it is?

Answer 7

I don't know, and I've never really cared till now. Just like boys are always Mr. (well at fancy things, under 18 they are Master, but only in fancy things), women should always be Ms. because that is for married and not marries. Miss is for unmarried and Mrs. is for maried. If all women a girls where called Ms. just like all boys are called Mr. the whole world could be a much happier place.

Answer 8

I work as a telemarketer, and whenever we fill out someone's personal information, there are three titles to choose from: Mr., Mrs., and Ms. As an act of protest against the customs you cited, I ALWAYS choose Ms.

Answer 9

You're missing the whole point of using Ms.

It was popularized as an alternative to both Miss and Mrs.

It applies to all women, and says nothing about marital status.

That's why we use it.

It IS equivalent to Mr.

Answer 10

this is the question i have always had.
its sooooooo offensive.
i consider it really offensive.
in many countries of the world they do not use such words that we use in english.

they just dont care if a woman is married or not, when they call her.
i like it that way.
for example i have an iranian friend, and she says in iran they a married woman exactly the way she was called before marriage. they even do not change her last name.
she gets angry when people call her with her husbands family name.
so do i.