what is the diffrenc between spanking and beatings?Have you tried time out or no tv or favorite toys?

Question

How do you think it makes a child feel when they are being hit by the one person who is supposed to love them most?

Answer 1

Spankings are within reason as they do not use excessive force, but actually beating your kids is overboard. Timeout doesn't work for all kids... Sometimes it takes a bit more... I was spanked as a kid, but not brutally beaten.

Answer 2

Spanking is a swat on the butt. Beatings are saved for when your kid steals a car or something like that. Time-out is a reprieve from you yelling at a kid and does no good whatsoever. No T.V. or no favorite toys is just a little boredom for them and they will keep bugging you the whole time. Chores in abundance for a set amount of time seems to do a good job and make sure you pick the least liked chores per child. If they cut up some more, Double the amount of chores and the amount or length of time that they have to do them for. When we were growing up, Our parents didn't have to worry about social services and their punishments helped to shape us into decent people so I just go by the old-school techniques. My kids seem to be turning out somewhat okay. So far, there has been alot more good for our kids than the other disfunctional families that we know. By the way, The majority of the other people mentioned are firm believers in the Time- Out policy and the no tv thing. I know alot of kids with babies and even know a 13 yr. old who has stolen a car. Thank God none of those are mine.

Answer 3

No child should be beaten...ever. Spanking = hitting. But, not without qualification.

A "spank" is an attention getting device that should only be used as a last resort. It should be on the hind quarters and be accompanied by a sharp repremand and some kind of consequence - like suspension of privleges (no TV, sit in a corner Dennis-the-Menace style, favorite toy, restricted to room, etc.). One spank - at the most, two - is all that is necessary.

A spank should never involve an object, like a paddle, or a tree switch (my dad used a peach tree switch on my bare legs and it left welts!). Parents should be under emotional control when spanking because an adrenalin rush can increase the force of the spank. If you have lost it, don't spank; use some kind of control punishment (restriction, suspension of privilege, etc.). Never hit in the face or the head - ever. Finally, never postpone a spanking until a later time ("...when your father comes home!") - reasons for that are obvious.

I know some parents do not believe a child should be hit, and I would guess that some parents can pull it off. However, my experience is that most children need boundaries and a sharp reproof with a pop on the rear end when young provides the foundation needed later in childhood and teenage years.

By the way, spankings need to end at some point, probably around 5-6 years old, in my opinion. After that, it becomes pointless. By 7 or 8, discipline needs to take on other forms of restriction and suspension of priveleges, along with a healthy dose of positive reinforcement for expected behavior.

Answer 4

Consider that it is impossible sometimes to reason with a small child, a small light spank of the hand when a child does something that is dangerous is more beneficial than talking about running into the street without looking, leaving the parents in the store, getting close to a hot stove, and etc.
When they are older spanking can be replaced with logic most of the time.
Beating is flat uncalled for, I was the victim of this type of punishment. I still at times had to spank my children, when logic does not work-spanking will.

A parent needs to be the parent not the child's best friend.
How loving is it to let your child grow up not respecting authority figures and rules. They will end up with problems in employment and possible legal problems.

Maybe my children were more stubborn or something. Time out or no TV or favorite toys did not phase them, they came to know this type of punishment would last no longer than when mom and dad were home from work or until bedtime.
Now with children having cell phones, TVs, ipods, computers, video games and more in their rooms--I can not image controlling all these toys.

Answer 5

To be honest I got a spanking as a child and I thank god that my mom spanked me. As a child I never thought that she was hurting me in anyway. Kids are more smarter then what their parents think and I knew at that moment I was doing something very bad and she would always talk to me concerning my behavior before she release her disappointments in my behavior. Trust me I knew I was doing wrong when I was a kid. I just wanted to see how far I could go. I loved those parents that believe in the time out rules. I would walk all over them, just like their kids will do.

Answer 6

like they better follow the rules and think about what they did.My father was a police officer and very religious, he always said that God gave us a butt for 2 things, 1 to sit on, 2 to spank if we are bad.I recieved many spankings in my life, earned each and every one of them, should have gotten more! I was a very stubborn,headstrong child that didn't care if you took away my toys, restricted me to my room , so a time out would have been a joke.He always used an open palm and only smacked us 3 times, never full stregnth, as we bent over his knees.It was more for humiliation than anything else,I didn't like being humilated so I thought about the consequenses before I did what I did, even with knowing the end results I still did them

Answer 7

Spanking is not designed to cause severe pain, but to correct a child. It should never be done in anger. A beating is done in anger, with the intent of causing severe pain.

The secret to spanking is to only use your bare hand, and only strike the child on the fleshy part of the buttocks. If you cup your hand, and spank, the noise will be much louder, but the actual force will be less!

The point of a spanking is to make the child feel bad. They need to know that they did something wrong, and have to suffer the consequences! Love sometimes requires us to do things that are in the best long term interest, even if in the short term it causes minor pain.

I will disagree about postponing a spanking. One of the most effective punishments I received as a child was to be told that I was going to get a spanking in X days. I was on my best behavior for those days, in hopes that my father would forget! He never did! As an adult I understand the delay, the real punishment was the time thinking about the spanking. It also allowed him to be sure that he was not spanking in anger, but was in full contol of his emotions!

Answer 8

A spanking is once or twice on the bottom whereas a beating is violence due to an uncontrollable rage. If you love your child, talking and getting them to understand their actions works best. Yes, it is easier to do all those things listed above but unfortunately not all parents have passed classes on child rearing. It takes a village to raise a child is correct. You need so much info from experiences of other parents to form a decent thought on how to raise them. We are not all perfect. We just need to try to be decent.

Answer 9

It makes a child feel horrible, I know my father hit us[my siblings also] with a belt a closed fist and kicked us with his pointy shoes. I do not speak to him now even thogh i wish him well. I now have 2 children 17 and 18 and I do not hit them I struggled with it when they were young but I remembered how it made me feel so I put it in check and I stopped putting my hands on them physically when they were young,[ I would spank them on the butt] I changed to star charts and rewards for good behavior and time outs and writing either essays or I will behave etc. It changed everything I have not put my hands on them since it has been at least 12 years and I am a much better Mom, I feel I have risen above it and you can too

Answer 10

There is a big difference between spanking and beating. Depending on the age and maturity level of the child, spanking may be the most appropriate way of reaching him. You can't reason with a 2-year old. It makes me laugh to see these young moms trying to talk their two-year olds into sitting down on a plane or moving out of the way in a restaurant or a store. Or trying to explain why they can't have some treat.

How does it make them feel? If you do it properly, it startles them a bit and redirects their attention and behavior. Hopefully it is not done in such a way that causes pain.

Personally, I think that spanking is rarely appropriate after the child is 4 years old (again depending on that child). At that age, they can begin to reason and they do understand loss of priveledges.

With our 4-year old, we only spank if many warnings are given and he is simply out of control. When he was younger, we only did it (mostly a slap on the hand or diaper) if he was doing something dangerous - like trying to play with an electical cord or getting too close to a strange dog.

Think about it. The lessons that stuck with you the most are the things that caused you pain or startled you. I walked up to the back of a horse when I was young and it kicked me in the chin. I had to get stiches and I never walked up to a horse again without letting it know I was there. Imagine how much less effective it would have been for my parents to try to explain to me all the reasons that it might be a bad idea?

If you play with something and get shocked, you are very likely to remember that lesson and not do it again. I can tell my son a million times to stay away from plugs and outlets. He does it because he is a good kid and pretty obedient, but it takes many many reminders to get that in his head.

There are right and wrong methods of handling anything. Just like you (seem to) feel that all spanking is child abuse, there are many parents out here who feel like you are doing your child a diservice by trying to reason with them when their brains are not equipped for that yet. It is your job to protect them and teach them about the world, not to be their friend.

People learn respect for dangerous and powerful things as adults through powerful experiences. Children work in a similar manner.

Hope that helps,

Rick

PS - most would agree that your kids should not be watching television anyway, so taking it away is not a great punishment. TV might have a place in most homes, but don't try to make your kids fight to watch t.v. and feel like it is a punishment to turn it off. Family time, quiet time, reading, etc. should not be a punishment.

Answer 11

Spanking is giving them a swat on the bottome, a beating is really hitting the heck out of them, there is a differnce....I go to church and the bible really states: spare the rod, spoil the child, in other words, if you don't spank your childrens bottoms there going to be walking all over you, but different things help for different children, you have to decide what works best with your child, i've tried time out and that really doesn't make a difference, doesn't bother them....taking away tv or toys doesn't really work well with my kids either they could care less, spanking there butt is what works for me but it may not work best for you and i see your point of view on the parent loving them most but spanking them but when they get older they do realize you doing it because you care and don't want to see them end up in jail or prison because you spoiled them and didn't teach them they get punished when doing something wrong, so really depends on what works best for your family.