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I was away for the weekend for this camp thing recently, and before hand my mom was freaking out towards me because she couldn't find one of her computer CD's she knew I had. I swore I didn't, but it turns out I did in my dresser drawers, which I tore apart to find for her. While I was gone she went ALL through my room looking for it! Like, in my closet in and everything. This isn't the first time she's done this for stuff without my knowing. I'm sort've messy with things under the bed and all - hey, I'm a teenager. I keep clothes I don't wear stuffed in places, ect, because she doesn't care unless she sees them. Now she's flipping out telling me I'm too old for that stuff. I'm mad she raided my room. I know she's my parent and it's her house, but she can ask to do that, I'd be fine - I TOLD her she can look in my dressers with my knowing a million times! But while I was gone? Is that wrong or is it my teenage mind just being obsessive?

2007-07-01 06:21:26 · 29 answers · asked by Jen 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting Adolescent

See, I'm so confused, I don't THINK I've given any reason at all to not have her trust me. I've been thinking...and nope. I'm a good kid. It was just a stupid CD she needed, ASAP but not THAT moment. It could've waited until I came home. So yes, she found dirty clothes, trash, ect...and now she's p1ssed. But I'm more upset she went in my room looking through my stuff. I saw poems I wrote from ages ago umcrumbled in duffle bags - obviously she had to have read them. I just don't like this, but I can't go to her without her retorting "It's my house, I can do whatever I want."

2007-07-02 02:14:11 · update #1

29 answers

Think its her right as a parent you maybe thankful later on in life be glad shes concerned.

2007-07-01 06:25:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3 2

I suggest that you forgive your mother for her faults as she probably does yours. Parents are just older people that can make mistakes too. So sorry that you have to go through it but until you get enough education to support yourself, your room and your stuff is at the mercy of the parent house rules. My step dad would raid my room all thoughout my childhood too. Sometimes several times a week. I never gave a reason for the raids and honestly was a good kid. Never did drugs, never smoked, never got in trouble at school.... My parents were the kind of people that watched television and were certain that their kid was as bad as the ones they heard about on the nightly news. You may also want to honestly check yourself and your recent behavior. Have you done anything that could be putting up an alarm for your mom? Just remember how you are feeling about this situation if you ever become a parent to a teen!

2007-07-01 06:44:30 · answer #2 · answered by nbt95337 3 · 0 1

YEAH! My mom's done that before...except for I was in the shower, and I got out of the bathroom quicker than I usually do because I was tired and wanted to go to bed, and ohmygosh, I found her looking thorough my dirty clothes and dressers and everything! She jumped when I came in the room, &&we fight all the time, so maybe she was looking for some notes or something to get me in more trouble. I dont think that's right, and maybe you should tell her that. Tell her that whatever she's looking for [if she does it again] that you'll look through your room WITH her, considering its your room, you'd know where stuff would be hidden more than she does. Maybe then tell her that you can be grounded for ??? months/days/years [hah] if she finds out that you do have something of yours, and you know you dont have it..but the fact that it turned up in your dresser, that's just weird! That's a bittersweet deal, and I'm not sure how you'd deal with that! I hope that helped. =]]

2007-07-01 06:27:59 · answer #3 · answered by Jayme 2 · 0 0

I think it's completely wrong unless you have given her a reason to not trust you about things.

My parents would NEVER raid my room. My mum even got after my dad for coming into my room when I wasn't in here to borrow my laptop or whatever. They never come in here poking around without my permission.

My best friend, however, gets her room raided all the time. At first I thought it was horrible that it happened, but then I found out some things about her that I didn't know.

Honestly, it depends on the situation, but if you haven't given her a reason to distrust you, it's unfair.

2007-07-01 18:46:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

First, have you given her a reason to mistrust you? As a mom of a seventeen year old a 10 year and an infant, I do not feel right going through anything in my oldest boy's room. That is his space. My house, yes, but I choose to trust. He will never be able to be out int he world and self sufficient if I don't trust him now and let him grow up. You need to sit and talk with your mom and find out why she has a trust issue. Have an adult talk with her. Don't get defensive either, that won't help. Explain to her you deserve privacy and want to know what it's going to take to prove to her you are worth her trust.

2007-07-01 06:29:57 · answer #5 · answered by Stefbear 5 · 0 0

As long as you are in her house its her right. I know it don't sound right, but look at it this way. Clean your room and do do anything that she will find and not like. Be a good kid!

I just spent 4 hours cleaning my 11 year ODs room while he was a camp. He had things stuffed in every place imaginable. But now its clean and he better keep it that way! Now I know his secret hiding places ( for stuffing dirty clothes) so now I will know where to look when I asked him if his room is clean.

Hopefully that will help him from getting it that way again.

2007-07-01 06:34:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

She is the mom ,you are the kid. It will be that way until you move out at 18 .You should thank her for being a so involved parent. When my kids turn 12 I'm going to do the same thing with them. It's her job to do her best to keep you away from drugs and booze and keeping you pure. There is a lot of moms who don't do that and there children turn into sluts , druggie ,and alcoholics.

2007-07-01 06:35:31 · answer #7 · answered by anglecakesalfred 2 · 0 0

She knew it was in your room, and she was right. Had you looked every where for it she would not have had a need to raid your room.

Sometimes parents have to look , sometimes they find drugs, or other things that the child is hiding.

And yes you are too old too be "hiding" messes. Just because your a teen isnt an excuse to have things cluttered.

2007-07-01 06:35:42 · answer #8 · answered by tammer 5 · 0 0

Well... When I was younger my mother did the same to me. I felt it was a HUGE invasion of privacy. I was a good kid... I didn't do drugs or run with the wrong crowd or anything terrible, so I was highly offended. It sounds like this is your case as well. Now that I am older and have a child, I would only do that if I suspected my child to be doing something wrong...

2007-07-01 06:32:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I think that she should have asked your permission first. I don't think anyone has the right to raid someones room even if it is there parent. Parents need to give their children some privacy. They wouldnt like it if we went in their room and tore everything apart. No matter what age, everyone has the right to privacy.

2007-07-01 07:00:29 · answer #10 · answered by Jessica 2 · 0 0

I don't think your mom was in the wrong to be honest. I understand that you think that since it's your room it's your domain. But, maybe your behavior has lead your mom to believe that something else was going on, so she wanted to check for herself and figured why you were gone it was the perfect timing. Your right it's her house and she's your parent so she's allowed doing whatever she wants when it comes to raising you and if she has a suspicion she has the right to act on it. Sorry that's just my opinion.

2007-07-01 06:29:22 · answer #11 · answered by Torey♥ 5 · 0 0

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