im in this relatioship with this girl and she has a 7 month old baby from some guy and all of suden he want's back in her life and she's trying to work things out with him because she knows at least the baby will be ok financially but she really wants to be with me but she's not to sure if i would be able to take care of them both but i know i can i would do anything to keep her.
2007-07-01 06:06:42 · 8 answers · asked by nephew 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
another thing is that he already pays child support and its like her parents kinda telling her to give it a shot which doesn't help but i've talked 2 her friend and shes really confused and she truly wants 2 be with me but she just feels that her baby is more important right now which is true but u cant force things why do u think there not together now because it never worked. i also think he's only doing because im in the picture and he's jealous and he wasnt there for her throughout the whole time she was pregnant. its like the only thing i can do is have her friend talk 2 her for me which she going to and just wait and see which is hard right now and if i didnt care about her so much i would have left alreafy trust me but i do!
2007-07-01 08:44:05 · update #1
Well first off, you are one of very few men who would step up in a relationship like this. Most men would have ran the other way. Good for you! Tell her how you feel, that you would do anything to keep her and her child. But don't ever try to come between the father and the baby. You need to let him play a hughe role in the baby's life. I am a mother of two, and each of my chilren have different fathers. So know to some extent what your feeling. My husband has a hard time letting my daughter leave for the summers to see her dad. But he knows that she has her own father as well as him.
Tell her that you lover her and the baby, and want to be there for her through everything. But you also know that he is the father, and you won't do anything to come between them. But you will be there for the baby too. Basically what I am saying is, be there for them, but know your boundries. And dont over step them. Hope this helps you. Good luck!
2007-07-01 06:16:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got separate issues and you are mixing the apples and oranges. One issue is parenting...and yes, she should do whats best for junior---financially and emotionally. that may or may not bring baby daddy back into the picture. As for the two of you, thats a sepate thing---and you and baby daddy should have the civility and understanding that you give to the guy at Value Hardware....you have business to tend to, you both wants whats best for baby mamma and baby.....baby's mamma has to be grown up about it....she doesnt have to work anything out....he's the daddy and will have to pay; it sure is nicer for junior if they can handle finances and custody and discipline issues on the same page, but then they wouldnt need a divorce...so there will be disagreements...tell her its like hoping the ocean doesnt have waves--but it doesn't make the ocean all bad.....she needs to ask a lot of questions, know herself well enough to know when to pick her fights and when to let it go. she needs a good attorney to hash out the legalities and money stuff....she can love all of you in a very different way (You love your mom but not the same way you love yer lady, you love the little old lady down the street but not at all the same way you do your own kids). Keep it simple. If she prefers the drama....run. You dont deserve it.
2007-07-01 06:29:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the best thing would be to stick around and be some one she can lean on. Being a single mom is a burden that is hard to deal with. She loves her child til no end and you can not compete with that. Let her make her own decision. If you care you will be there for her during that process. Shell either come around your way or not. That baby is her top priority
2007-07-01 07:53:33 · answer #3 · answered by chatttowngrimmy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she needs to realize that if you are the guy that treated her and the baby right this whole time its you she should be with. if she loves you she will choose you, the dad should still be in the babys life but he needs to pay child support and that that. if shes looking for money she should learn to provide for herseld and her baby im 20 and i have a 1 year old and im in college going to become a nurse thats hard but worth it. sorry, choosing a guy over money is wrong love is more important and i hope she realizes that soon, good luck i hope everything works out for you, just be there for her and suport her no matter what.
2007-07-01 06:12:53 · answer #4 · answered by hottmama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE!!!!! You don't want the bs that is about to come. She will always compare you to him and let you know you will never be the kids father you are just a pay check which she feels is not big enough. Get out now especially if she is wanting him back, that should tell you right there that her feelings are not true for you because if they were she wouldn't be thinking about getting him back.
2007-07-01 06:15:16 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Someone needs to help her to realize that money is not everything. If she does not love this person, trully love them, it will never work. Relationships that are formed just for the benefit of a child are usually not healthy relationships.
Do you know someone that she listens to that could talk to her? That would be a good place to start.
2007-07-01 06:12:56 · answer #6 · answered by DragonGirl87 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she can't choose between you and her baby daddy, then be a man and make the choice for her. Dump her butt now cause this is drama that will keep on repeating. You have no obligation to her, so walk and let her live her life.
2007-07-01 06:18:38 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Instantkarma♥♫ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her make her own decision...
2007-07-01 06:25:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋