for a day, i didnt relaise what to do about a problem, i was really confused but then i realised that when my bf gets upset, i am to cheer him up and then ask whats wrong. i didnt. the next day i realised that and i feel so stupid and dumb and so bad for it.
He doesnt still want to talk about the problem, just tells me to drop it, normally we would sort problems out, but its different with this one. he just doesnt want to know about it and forget about it. i dont really want to do this as i cant move foreward with a problem unsolved.
I dont know how to treat this. he doesnt want to talk about it, if i do, he gets annoyed and really upset, and just expects me to just forget about it. later i would want to talk about it so its sorted, right now, im actin as if im ok, when im really not so i wont upset him. i feel depressed but im ignoring how i feel.
I just want things to be and feel ok, for the both of us.
What do i do know? How can get him to talk to me? Hes sensitive n easily annoyed
2007-07-01 06:06:04 · 8 answers · asked by IKnowBest32 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
just leave him alone and wait for him to want to talk about it. dont be so pushy
2007-07-01 06:09:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, why is it soooo very important for you to know what the problem is? Just because you are a couple, it doesn't mean that you share everything 100%. It doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't trust you with the information, but rather he may be uncomfortable with you knowing. It could be that he feels he is responsible for handling this personal matter. You must come to realize that if he tells you he doesn't want to discuss it, then it is off limits. Leave it alone. Either eventually he will ask you to help, tell you he solved it, or never bring it up again. The only thing you can do is to tell him you know something is bothering him, and you are there if he wants advice or moral support, then leave it alone. IF the shoe was on the other foot, would you want to be hounded about a problem that you didn't want to discuss??
2007-07-01 13:21:20 · answer #2 · answered by TiaRanita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you feel you always have to cheer him up or solve his problems? Sometimes you have to stand back and let him face his own life problems, and just be there to support him..Every relationship has different phases, what used to work for you apparently isn't right for the phase you are entering in to now, so Maybe you need to do some soul searching and adjust your life around the idea that nothing ever stays the same..Find a different route, go with the flow, and try not to worry so much...good luck dear
2007-07-01 13:32:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it's best to remain quiet and maybe he will open up.
It's annoying to think there is always a "fix-it" or a bandaid to a problem. Sometimes it's best to let them work it out.
If the problem does not have anything to do with you, then make the time shared be positive between the two of you..........why focus on this problem........
It's not your place to cheer him up.........it's your place to keep yourself cheered. And with abundance of that feeling, he too will enjoy your company because it's cheerful and fun to be around.............not negative and persisting on bringing up "this problem".
Don't make the problem bigger.........eliminate it and replace it with something uplifting.
2007-07-01 13:22:57 · answer #4 · answered by cashelmara 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like you many others, you are under the delusion that you can control other people.
You can't.
His inner world is his to share or not.
You've let him know you want to hear about it, that's all you can do.
Also, his feelings are not your responsibility.
Yes, it's nice when our SO cheers us up, but it not your obligation to ALWAYS do so.
There's no reason to feel stupid or at fault for not reading his mind and catering to him.
2007-07-01 16:10:46 · answer #5 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with hal. Don't make his problem your problem. You seem to have missed your chance. Maybe you did, maybe you didn't. Maybe he wouldn't talk about it yesterday, maybe he wants to sort it out himself. Give him his space and don't become par tof the problem. he may talk about it in his own good time. You can say you are concerned and that you care about him and don't like to see him upset, but then drop it if that doesn't work.
2007-07-01 13:16:13 · answer #6 · answered by cavassi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't put a lot of press on him.let some space to exist and he will soon reveal his mystery.
2007-07-01 13:21:13 · answer #7 · answered by punkio 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
read some john grey.
let him have his cave.
2007-07-01 13:11:40 · answer #8 · answered by Kelly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋