Should My Son Go Away To University Or Should He Study At The Local University?

Question

My son has been offered several university places including the LSE, Oxford and Bristol. However, he wants to study Economics at Kent University because it means he can live at home and keep in touch with his school chums, who are also mainly hoping to study at Kent University.

Is this a choice he will live to regret?

Answer 1

If I was him I would study at Kent University.

My nephew has just graduated with debts of £16K and because he had to work to get through college his degree class was not what he hoped for.

Best to concentrate on getting the best degree class you can and keeping your debts down. Anyway lots of students live at home now, I saw a figure which suggested as much as 34% of UK students now study at their local university.

I get involved with graduate recruitment at my employer and they don't give a damn about which university you obtained your degree from, they are only interested in A-level grades and class of degree.

Answer 2

This may be an odd question, but what might he do later?

The LSE / Oxford badges will be with him for life - people will view him differently because of where he studied. That will apply socially and professionally. And it is valid - he will be a different person. However, if he is likely to get a first at Canterbury then he would be able to go on to take a Masters at LSE / Oxford / .... Canterbury would be a good first degree (but not as good as LSE / Oxford).

In my own case I've advised my sons to study away from home. This way they meet new people and get a different view. They acquire more independence. Alternatively they stay at home and study well because they have a solid environment. There is no right answer. We make the best decision we can on the basis of the information we have and our predispositions. A positive outlook, whatever the decision, is the best approach.

If the question has arisen it may be that he doesn't want to move out of his comfort zone. How likely is he to flourish if put into new circumstances? Is he being timid about the decision to move away, or is he predisposed to be timid? Would the decision to study at Canterbury be a positive decision based on all the factors - or just the social ones.

The internet (facebook, email, etc) make keeping in touch easier. Visits home can be co-ordinated. He c an stay in touch if he goes away. I still meet up with school friends - we're 50ish and scattered around the country. If he wants to stay in touch with school friends then he will, the university he goes to now wont be the deciding factor.

Good luck.

Answer 3

It's easy to understand his point of view, moving away from home and friends can be a scary prospect. It probably depends on the sort of person he is - if he's a nervous and shy person then moving away could be the best thing to bring him out of his shell. If he has difficulty making friends he can always join some of the uni societies to widen his circle. LSE may be a good option if you live in Kent, as London isn't exactly a million miles away. That way he can easily come back to visit regularly and his friends can visit him in London. Plus LSE is a very good university!

Sounds like you have a very intelligent son and so he is probably very capable of making his own decisions. He must remember though that his friends will move on eventually so he shouldn't be too dependent. I do also understand the money aspect is a big thing, and that too will depend on yourself and how able you feel you are to support him at home vs away. The main thing though is to choose the place that feels right (he won't do well if he's unhappy), so let him go with his instincts. It might help to talk through the pros and cons of all the options together?

Whatever he chooses, as long as he has your support and makes the most of the experience he will be just fine.

Answer 4

I'm assuming LSE is the London School of Economics. It has a good reputation but that doesn't mean it is 'good.' I'd say that unless Kent has an excellent economics dept.(I don't know anything about it), I'd encourage him to go to LSE or the others you mentioned. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Also, he can always leave if he really doesn't like studying abroad--he'd only lose maybe one year, and also, nowadays with the net, Skype, etc., you can stay in touch with people a lot easier than ever. I'd focus on really understanding why he doesn't want to explore new things. Is he really interested in economics? is he afraid? Sounds more complicated issue than on the surface.

Answer 5

I know a lad in my village who went to Kent Uni (I live in Surrey) and he said more than 50% of the students either lived at home or went home every weekend. he is 28/29 and still lives at home. Both my daughters went further away had a great time and have never returned other than to visit.
Uni isnt just the next stage of school, it is also learning about life, gaining independence and really becoming an adult. For a parent it is horrible the little one finally leaves home (well it was for me) and is now an infrequent visitor. But surely that is what we want for our kids to see them standing on their own two feet, doing the things we did (or would have liked to have done).
However which is the best uni for the subject to be studied, if it is Kent, then that is the place to go to.

Answer 6

If he is not ready to "leave the nest" and feels more comfortable at home, then Kent is the right place for him. He can always go for an advanced degree after he graduates.

Your son is obviously an intelligent boy who knows what he's doing. Besides, it's often said that top students will do well no matter where they go. He will likely only live to regret his choice if people around him question his decision constantly.

Answer 7

It's a difficult choice. I went to my local Uni, which required two hours travelling each way, just so that I could stay at home and have a couple of friends at Uni. However, I hated the Uni, the course wasn't what I hoped, wasn't what I'd wanted, and the travelling really got to me. I'm now gonna be repeating my second year at a Uni that is on the east coast of Scotland instead of the south west. This means I have to move away from home, but I can't wait.

His choice should be focused on what the course is, is it what he wants, does it offer everything he needs etc, but don't force him, let him make his own decisions, if they are wrong he'll learn from them, and transferring is always an option if it gets too bad.

Answer 8

I don't think you are going to like my answer but here goes. The fact that your son wants to stay at home rather than go away is a problem in itself.
That he would also consider going to a third division university rather than premier/first division ones does not reflect very well on his attitude to higher education.
I think that it is your duty to persuade him to go; to Oxford preferably. Certainly you should explain to him that he is a big boy and can't stay at home during term time.
If you give him the chance so that he can stay at home I am sure he will regret it and maybe blame you for condoning it!
I took my degree from home because I had no option and I have felt that I missed out on a right of passage for 59 years.

Answer 9

Not necessarily. If he moves away then he will gain life skills, such as managing on a budget, looking after yourself, gaining new friends and experiences.

However, on a three year course he will probably incur £10'000 of living expenses (plus tuition), that will probably transfer to debt afterwards.

Its worth ensuring that your son gains the best degree though because some degrees from the University of Kent have been discredited.

Answer 10

This is a problem I am having. Do I stay at home and go to Kingston or Roehampton (or another London uni) or do I move away and go to Cardiff or somewhere else offering English Language? I can't decide.

Staying at home would be easier and cheaper, but uni in London isn't cheap so would it be cheaper?

Going away would give me more independance but I am very shy and don't know if I could cope with the change?!

That's a tricky one. Whatever decision you choose to make, hopefully it will be the best! Good luck.