For ten points best answer to this question will win ten points. If you were married to some one for along time like 7 or 8 years and they say love you but they mumble it and only after you say it to them first. they really dont show you any love or affection at all. and if they doit for a minute. but only after you show them love in the first place. what would you think what would you do? if you don't believe they are cheating on you and there is no real sign they are cheating on you. what would you do? You love them so much and maybe they love you but how much they love you if they can never say it?
2007-07-01 04:29:30 · 9 answers · asked by sassylassy2876 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It just sounds like you are going through that "7 yr itch" thing!! MANY married couples go through it! In fact, they say if you make it past the 7th year then you have a SIGNIFICANTLY better chance of "making it!"
Its probably not that he doesnt LOVE you... he probably just isnt feeling that "lust" that he used to anymore! Dont worry... EVERYONE goes through it... its how you DEAL w/ it that makes or breaks a relationship. He could either do what he's doing (until something finally changes) OR he could cheat on you and end the relationship!
It sounds like hes not ready to give up on the two of you yet. He's simply in what I would call a "blah" stage. Nothing is "exciting" anymore, theres really nothing "new" to learn about one another... things are a bit "STALE!"
What I would do in your case (since you dont think he's cheating on you) is YOU be the one to put some romance BACK into the relationship.... guys are pretty easy to sway back! If you dont do something soon though, there is a GOOD chance that he WILL start thinking about cheating!!
If you have the money... surprise him w/ a couples getaway! Take a cruise or go to a couples resort (like Sandles!). Talk to his boss (without him knowing) and get permission from his boss for him to take off work... then simply surprise him a week or two before the trip (have all his stuff packed, let him know that you have cleared his time off w/ his boss, etc!) Spend the ENTIRE TRIP with one another.. learning about each other again, reconnecting.. and dont forget the SEX!!
Also... what you could do in the meantime is spice it up in the bedroom!! There are videos out there that teach you how to give your hubby a strip tease! (I did it for mine... did WONDERS for our sex life). Also bring home some porn, "toys," lingerie... stuff like that! YOU initiate things in the bedroom!
Men are creatures of TOUCH. If you get your sex life back in "check," I can almost PROMISE that the rest will fall into place!!
If the sex has kind of fallen by the wayside, more then likely your hubby is feeling like you no longer have any DESIRE for him, dont think he's sexy anymore and that YOU dont love HIM as much anymore!
On the other side, Women are all FEELING (theres a BIG differance btwn touch and feeling!). You want the cuddling, the sweet looks, the brushing your hair from your eyes, the sweet kisses!
Once you make HIM feel loved again (through sex).. HE will return the favor by being MUCH more affectionate to YOU! Its not that he's "punishing" you... its all subconsious! But ONE of you HAS to break the cycle! Since YOU are the one that has "realized" it.. YOU need to be the one to step up and SAVE your marriage!!
Dont worry.. you can do it!! Its NOT too late!!
Good luck and just remember to HAVE FUN while "rekindling" the romance!!
2007-07-01 04:50:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
People show love in different ways. Some are very affectionate and some are not. I show a ton of affection w/ my kids and husband and have often felt that I do not get the same back, atleast from my husband. But that is just not the way he is. His way of showing affection is not by kissing and saying "i love you" but by calling to see if I made it to work safely or by making sure the car has gas when I need to go somewhere.
Talk to your husband and maybe he can shed some light on the situation. Maybe he is having a hard time with something right now and doesn't know how to share his feelings with you. If he is willing maybe going to see a therapist would help. Just don't give up yet! Marriage is full of good AND bad times.
Best wishes!
2007-07-01 04:55:37 · answer #2 · answered by Just trying to make it 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to that person and explain your feelings. Discuss all your feelings but don't bring up "bad" issues. It's to open new doors on your relationship, not a "gripe session". Sometimes relationships can get into a rut, it's the same thing day in and day out, after 7 or 8 years of doing the same thing over and over, after awhile, saying "I Love you" becomes part of the routine. Could the relationship be losing it's adventure? Try planning a small bed and breakfast getaway where the two of you can be "one" for a weekend. What were you doing when the two of you first realized that you were thinking in terms of "we" instead of "me"? Go there again, do that again if you can.
2007-07-01 04:42:13 · answer #3 · answered by fox 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have found a way to get him to show you attention, as you mentioned in your note that "if you show him love in the first place". Love breeds Love. If you show a lot of love, you will get back a lot of love. If you want him to come to you first, you might be waiting a long time. Shower him with love and attention, and expect very little back for about 2 months. This will be really hard to do, because you will feel taken advantage of, used, not appreciated, etc. But if you keep all of those negative feelings inside, and just keep giving him love, and keep doing loving things..... without expecting ANYTHING in return, you will probably see him open up and come alive !!! If you love me as much as you say you do, this will be an easy task. Some people stop giving because the other person "asks them to give" or "expects them to give". When you ask nothing and expect nothing is when you get SOMETHING !!!! Good luck Honey !!!
2007-07-01 04:40:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't imagine 4-8 year old Filipino kids acting intelligently. No offense meant here but I know kids of these age range do not really know what the true meaning of love is but only through the examples of their parents or older persons. Usually love is expressed by kissing a child when he/she is hurt and mommy tells him/her that she will take the pain away because mommy loves him/her. Love, for them, is being soothed and being kissed, being cuddled and being petted. Other than that, I don't think they'd go deeper than what is usually shown them.
2016-05-20 01:52:30 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well in relationships there are always two types of people the one who loves and the one who loves more than the other. It is not always good to be the one that loves more because that means you would be expecting the same type of love back. Yes you deserve to be loved like that but sometimes it doesn't always happen and our marriages are unbalanced. I think that there are a lot of people like this in the world today and also I think that you are victim to this as well. It is not wrong but it is dangerous to you because you would get hurt faster.
I think that the person that you should be asking these questions should be your husband who I am sure loves you but is either shy, or not sure how to show you love. My husband often tells me that he is not sure how to handle all the love that I give to him. Maybe it could be the same for you.
2007-07-01 04:40:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have already invested 7 to 8 yrs in this, how many more years are you going to put up with it*?
2007-07-01 06:34:55 · answer #7 · answered by dca2003311@yahoo.com 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe he show his love or expresses his love in other ways..?
like, dose he fix or change your oil in your car, clean the garage, yard work, give you a nice home to live in, do stuff for you without you having to nag at him. give you security.?
not all people show or express there love the same way. maybe the things he dose for you is his way of saying : BABY YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING, I LOVE YOU.
or i could be wrong and he is a a55hole
2007-07-01 04:55:16 · answer #8 · answered by pocos 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Maybe they don't. I would talk to them and let them know how it made me feel.
2007-07-01 04:36:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋