I do n ot want my Daughter to lose a year from school because of the public school system?

Question

My Daughter's birthday is in Feburary so the school tells me she can't start Pre-k unless she is 4 by Sept. 1 , she will lose a year...how can I avoid that? I heard that if they go to private shool until a certain grade the state has no choice but to let them in at whatever age. Can someone explain to me how this works?

Thanks to all...Just as a side note to Matt, I would not do that...your math is off. If she goes into pre-k this year she will be 3 years 7 months and the rest of the kids would be between 4 and 4 .4 years (aprox.), next year in kindergarden, she would be 4 years and 7 months and the rest would be 5 to 5.4...go back to school

Just to put people at ease, the reason behind not wanting to leave her back is because now at 3 years and 5 months she is almost reading, recognizes the words, she understands the importance of conversation and talks all her feelings out...I believe she may be "gifted" but what mother does not, so I guess I am looking to see what recourse to take

Answer 1

As a teacher in a public school that is actually centered around helping parents and children make gains in their education I must say that the cut off dates are in place for a reason.

If I understand your question correctly you daughter will only be three when you want her to start Pre-K. As a mother, I think that is entirely too young. She will not be at the same maturity level as the other children and might not have the same patience and understanding as the other child. These dates are not picked out of a hat at random. They are chosen based on the development of an average child at that age. As we get older, a five month difference in our birthday truly is not much. When we are young however, the developmental difference can be staggering.

It is easier for a teacher, the parent, and the school to determine growth of a student in a single class if all children are starting around the same level. Many parents find this easier because they are not as worried that their children might not be *normal* when compared to their classmates.

Now, what you are trying to do is not impossible. What you need to do is call the school district and find out who you need to talk to to petition the school to let your daughter attend. I am going to tell you now, that you need a very good reason. Because if you tell them that you feel she is simply losing a year they won't be the first to tell you that you are wrong in your assumptions. After all, that is like saying your daughter is losing a year because she can't start kindergarten now.

Even as I am writing this now, I am beginning to think there is an ulterior motive to you wanting her to start early. Try talking to the district, but do not be surprised if nothing comes of it.

Answer 2

The states have a cut off for birthday's that private schools do not have to honor. My sister's birthday was Sept 17 so she was suppose to sit out an entire year, but we moved to a state where the date was December so she started the first grade a few weeks late. February is a little late. I would have her wait the year because of the maturity level. If it were in Sept or Oct then I'd say put her in a private school, but there is a big difference in a 3 and a 4 year old as far as maturity goes. I would wait the year.

Answer 3

She is not "losing" a year! She GAINS an extra year of precious childhood! There is no race to win or lose here.

The state has a very good reason for having a cut off date for school entrance. Our cutoff date is also Sept. 1. I have had kids in my kinder class who were born in August and others born after Sept. 1...a whole year's difference. It is easy to pick out the "babies" in the class as they do not have the attention span required for studies.

Students who are older are usually the better students...they are more mature and more developmentally ready to learn. Most of the students that I have seen retained are usually the youngest ones in the class because they are not developmentally ready either academically and/or socially for the rigors of school.

On a personal note, my daughter is an October baby and had to "sit out" until the next year. It was the best thing for her. She was more mature in every way and the teachers were always telling me what a joy she was in class. My son was an August baby, and although the teachers said he was very smart, he was not as mature as most of the other students and was always getting into scraps because of his behavior. Being youngest in the class is not better.

Most private schools in my area follow the same entrance requirements as the public schools. If you do put your daughter into an "early entrance" program in a private school, you would have to keep her in the private school through her kindergarten year if the school district requires kinders to be 5 on or before Sept. 1st and perhaps through 1st grade if that requirement is 6 on or before Sept. 1st

There may be some private schools in your area that have pre-school classes for 3 year olds.

Think ahead to when your daughter's classmates are 16 and getting jobs and cars and she will not be old enough....doesn't sound traumatic now, but she will be an outsider and that is traumatic to a teenager.

Children grow up wayyyyy to fast. Keep her home and enjoy her now while you can! Work with her at home on her reading and other skills, but give her the "gift" of time....you won't be sorry in the long run!

Answer 4

There is a tremendous difference in mental and physical maturity bewtween a 3 year old and a 4 year old. It would be potentially damaging psychologically, and certainly dangerous physically for her to be in school with kids who are so much older and larger. But you are actually proposing something much worse... A kid starting preK in September would have to be 4 years old, but that means that there are some kids in the class who missed the cut last year when they were 4 last October (eg born in October 2002) would now be nearly 5 years old! Your daugher (born Feb 2004) is not even 3 1/2. How can you seriously suggest that she should be in class with kids who are that much older than her. That is a really bad idea,

She needs to be with kids her own size and age, to get the level of supervision that those kids need, and to be doing the activities that are proper for kids that age.

Give her a break and let her develop normally. Don't torture her by putting her way beyond her strength. Who are you doing this for? Your daughter, or your own ego wanting to have a "gifted" daughter?

ps that argument about medical school is probably the worst argument I've ever heard for starting kids early! Ask your female pediatrician whether she agrees with that. I bet a $million she wouldn't!!!

Answer 5

I say just let her "lose a year".
i myself skipped pre-k, started kindergarten when i was 6 years old, and i'm 15 now, going into high school.
honestly, i actually like being older than most kids.
in high school, i'll be able to drive & work most of the years.
also, your daughter wouldn't really lose a year of education, assuming she'll be a hard worker.
yeah, while i might be a year older than most kids in my grade, i am certainly not stupider or anything like that.

Answer 6

My suggestion is to enroll her at a head start for pre k 3 and 4 until she can attend public school for kindergarten and then enroll her for kintergarten .All public schools have a cut off date for enrollment for Pre k and kindergarten and they will not make any acceptions .If she is gifted you can ask to have her evaluated in 1st or 2nd grade and they can promote her to the next grade.This is the only way I know parents can have their child catch up if they missed the cut off date for registration.Each state has its own registration cut off date for pre k and kindergarten and it applies to all schools in the state.The reasons for the cut off dates is so they can budget the monies needed to educate the students.They start the registration for Pre k and kindergarten in march and April in most state because this in when the budget for the following school year needs to be turned in and the kids who are enrolled will be added to the schools roster.

Answer 7

Sounds to me you are rushing her into school. You are wanting to send her to Pre-K at age 3? Wow. She's not ready at that tender young age. There is a REASON there are age limits. If you want her to have structured "classes" just find a good daycare facility which spends time developing children.

Answer 8

You can not avoid it. They have to make a cut off date. You could enroll her in private school but it may not make a difference. You should ask the public school.

Answer 9

Well, if she starts school this fall and stays in that school for a year, then she will be ready for the next grade, and any school, public or private, will put her in that grade, and not go by her age once she has already been in school a year.

What kind of social skills do you and your hubby have? If you both have awesome social skills, chances are your kid inherited this and she will not be socially awkward later on. If on the other hand you and hubby (or the parent she resembles) are average socially, you may want to hesitate.

But let me tell you, once kids get into school, they cope, they adapt, and if she wants to be a physician later on, she will thank you for getting her started early so that she won't be so old coming out of medical school. I'm completely serious. Especially for girls that biological clock ticking is such an issue in terms of career and motherhood.

Answer 10

She will be better off being a year back. This is not losing a year. She gets all the years, just starting a year later.
My son was born in August, and we held him back even though he made the cut off.
It will (or should) make things better for her in the long run.