I think of you every day, but you still seem so far away. With each and every breath I take, every moment I am awake, you're on my mind both night and day. I keep hoping things will come out right. The depth of my love you'll never know, for my true feelings I can no longer show. You loved me once, but I pushed you away. I treated you bad, I forced you to stray. I want you back, my heart aches deep, for many hours I sit and weep. The pain I caused you, you'll never forget, but I am trying hard to pay my debt. How can I ever make it up to you? My apologies are way past due. There's a look of sadness in your eyes. I caused a lot, but I told you no lies. Just remember the good times, forgive the bad. Please don't forget the happiness we've had.
2007-07-01 02:00:21 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Love your letter in rhyme. You have a real knack for rhythm, too, faltering only a few times. Keep on writing!
2007-07-01 02:04:49 · answer #1 · answered by Elaine P...is for Poetry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... wait.. is this supposed to be poem? er... some other kind of writing? Don't get me wrong, its great... but maybe write it like this:
I think of you every day,
but you still seem so far away.
With each adn every breath I take,
every moment I am awake,
you're on my mind both night and day.
I keep hoping things will come out right.
The depth of my love you'll never know...
etc. etc.
I think it'll be easier to read that way... verses some big giant paragraph lol
But, good job, and keep writing. You did very good with punctuation... or at least from what I can tell.
~Black and White~
2007-07-01 09:17:10 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its really nice. i really like these lines
"With each and every breath I take, every moment I am awake, you're on my mind both night and day. I keep hoping things will come out right."
so sweet.... wonder who the lucky person is who inspired you...
they must be very special
2007-07-01 10:27:01 · answer #3 · answered by little.miss.hot.lips 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The person is saying that even though they had good times with the person, but now they want to get rid of them because they are losers.
2007-07-01 09:05:29 · answer #4 · answered by malroymck 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
see if you can incorporate how can you just sit there with that vacant stare
2007-07-01 09:04:00 · answer #5 · answered by David T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry the rhyming don't work for me
2007-07-01 10:30:45 · answer #6 · answered by Mexxy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not too shabby ;)
2007-07-01 09:04:01 · answer #7 · answered by wesley_1971 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that ia amzing. :] really good. :] wow.
2007-07-01 09:52:17 · answer #8 · answered by * 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
outstanding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-07-01 09:11:09 · answer #9 · answered by notsohardtofigure 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋