New poem Plz read?

Question

As my voice
Travels down the hall
And my ears yearn
For your Returning call

As my eyes search
The empty space
Where once I kissed
A familiar face

I look down
At the empty chair
And remember the girl
With golden hair

Those sweet red lips
So full and sweet
A laugh like honey
Melted over a treat

Then the memory fades
And my tear hits the dust
Now the chair is empty
Because I didn’t trust

Answer 1

It's a very beautiful poem, but it sounds alot like you're regretting a lost love due to a mistake you made. You have my sympathy.

Answer 2

It's actually a real poem, although not a very profound one. You know something about rhyme and meter and I love the imagery of the empty chair. Still it's too straightforward; it needs some metaphor or simile. But keep writing; you have obvious talent and you know the meaning of "poetry."

Answer 3

I liked this line:

A laugh like honey
Melted over a treat

It was a good image.

Thanks for writing.

Answer 4

Trust has many boundries. Proper conduct fears no exposure. Good poem.

Answer 5

It looks like it was written by a 12-year-old whose only knowledge of poetic devices includes a single type of rhyme. By the way, I'll get tons of thumbs down for not coddling you.

Answer 6

I like it. I think it looks at a common situation in a humorous way. Its good.

Answer 7

Learn to trust and you won't be so sad

Answer 8

wow! that's good sounds like you learned a lesson!

Answer 9

I give you 5 *****stars for that poem Sammy , great!!!!!

Answer 10

hey!!!!!!!! i love your poem. can we chat anytime when you r free. u just really rock